Technically, there’s only one girl on this island that I’ve been told to stay away from.
 

One.
 

And she just showed up on my doorstep looking like a hooker at a ho parade.
 

Why, you ask? Well, according to her, I’m the only one on Paradise Isle that can help her.
 

The only. Fucking. One.
 

Go figure.
 

So what am I supposed to do? Turn her away and look like an asshole? This whole “being a good person thing” isn’t as easy as it’s cracked up to be. Bear with me, will you? I’m still learning the ropes.
 

There is one thing I’ve learned in my attempts at turning over a new leaf, though. If I can help someone out of a tight spot, I should do it.
 

Right?
 

So now I’m determined to do just that and prove to everyone on this island that I’m a decent guy. Even if that means risking my own neck.
 

That’s right - I’m back. And I’ve got a whopper of a story to tell you.
 

Oh. And Al’s coming along for the ride. But don’t worry, I’ve got the wheel. (Mostly because he can’t see over it.)
 

Hang on tight.
 

Because Drunk’s driving.
 

More Caribbean flavored adventure. An octogenarian with a distaste for John Deere Green. And a hooker with an attitude. What could be more fun than that?
 

Rated R for colorful language, crude humor, sexual innuendos, and the occasional non-PC remark. Rated A+ for entertainment value.
 

Oh, and one more thing. While I’m not one of those people who’ll tell you what to do with your life or anything, I will say, if you haven’t listened to Drunk on a Plane or Drunk on a Boat, you might wanna start there. You’d find this story a lot more entertaining if you did. That said, this story can stand on its own two feet if required to do so.