In this episode of 420 Reasons Why I Quit Drinking Alcohol, I reflect on one of my most humbling walks of shame—waking up after a night of drinking at Johnny O’Hagan’s. I had blacked out and found myself in bed with a young Irish guy, filled with shame and uncertainty about how I got there or how I’d get home. It was a painful reminder that alcohol had control over me, not the other way around.

I challenge you to ask yourself: do you have control over alcohol, or does alcohol have control over you? If you believe you have control, I challenge you to prove it. Don’t drink for a week, or skip that glass of wine at dinner, after a long day at work, or when you’re out with friends. See for yourself who truly holds the power—because the answer might surprise you.

In 420 Reasons Why I Quit Drinking, I reflect on the "Seasons of My Life" and how alcohol once defined my youth. I used to believe that fun and fulfillment required drinking—my life, especially in high school, revolved around chasing boys and alcohol. It seemed impossible to do anything without it. But now, 13 years sober, I feel truly free in mind, heart, soul, and body, no longer drawn to the party scene. I find myself asking, "What’s my favorite season of life?" and realize it’s this one—where I feel at peace and complete just as I am.

This is the one from 1994 when I was out in Arizona visiting my friends and we got invited to her girlfriends house to drink some wine, and WINE we did plus a whole lot more. I specifically told her not to leave me there and make sure I left when she was ready since she had to work the next day. Oh boy, I was in for a real treat when I woke up still there.

HELP! I had to get the hell out but how? I needed a ride but my friend was working, shit! Her hubby had to come and get me and found me pacing back on forth a what seemed like a busy 6 lane road at the crack of dawn. I felt like I had been run over and over and over.