When you look back on your life, the experiences that have the most lasting impact on your life are the meaningful moments spent with those you love. While the details of each moment may be different, they all have one thing in common. There is a connection at the moment. It is the equivalent of emotionally holding hands if you will—a turning toward each other. 

I asked 3 close friends to tell me what constitutes meaningful time together. The first one felt connected when they took time away from work and went away together. Most of us can agree we feel more connected with our spouses when we get away. That friend also found a connection in choosing shows to share in the evenings. Specific details of the show became part of their daily language bringing typical humor into the relationship. The second friend felt time to connect without phones, movies, and tv was important. She enjoyed the lack of distractions where they could have intimate conversations. Sitting on the back patio after work, sharing a drink, enjoying the scenery, and watching their dogs play together. Riding their side by side through the desert. The third friend felt that physical touch and affection made their time together more meaningful. He and his wife stay connected all day through texts. So, they are creating significant moments throughout the day. And All three said spending time with other couples was meaningful to the relationship. One friend said they like to see their spouse interact with the groups of friends because they enjoy seeing that side of them. 

Notice that each person had different ideas, but they had one thing in common—a desire for meaningful connection. What you do in your time together is not as important as the ability to connect at the moment. 

The problem is when couples think the only way to connect is on a big date or a big trip together. There has to be an event. I assert that if you aren't having little moments of meaningful time to connect in the day-to-day, the connection on a date or a trip together may not bring the connection you expect. The little connections build over time and fuel those times that are "special events." 

Suppose the connection is only sought on fancy, romantic dates or getaways. What about a couple who struggles financially and can't travel, go on fancy dates, or buy each other expensive gifts? Are they prevented from spending meaningful time with their spouse? Heck no! The amount of money spent or the extravagance of the event has no bearing on meaningful time together. In fact, there are more opportunities than you can imagine having meaningful time together. Unfortunately, if we aren't careful, we miss them. 

Having meaningful time with your spouse doesn't cost a dime, but it will cost you time and intention, but it is well worth the effort. 

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