We all experience anxiety in some form, in some way, and in some shape. Because anxiety, fears, and worries can be so uncomfortable, we quickly play-it-safe. And when you’re prone to deeply caring for what you do - as high-achievers, strivers, and perfectionists - then the fears of being a failure or not being good enough are amplified.

In this conversation, Annick Seys and I discussed the many layers in which these fears show up and how nourishing your observer-self can shift from self-criticism into self-acceptance, from self-judgment into self-compassion, and from emotional avoidance into curious behaviors.

Cultivating your observer-self isn't just about self-distancing; it is about your well-being and living a purpose-driven life.

Key Takeaways

• How to deal with the gap between expectations and reality
• How to practice self-acceptance
• How to unpack the fear of being a failure in the moment
• How to understand the fear of being a failure
• The problem with toxic positivity
• Relational Frame Theory of Language
• How to nourish your observer-self
• Understanding the observer-self
• The power of curiosity
• Self-compassion on-the-go

Show notes with time stamps

00:31 Understanding Fear-Based Reactions

01:00 The Struggles of Time Management

01:07 Dealing with Disappointments and Failures

05:31 Exploring Self-Acceptance

06:01 The Ongoing Exercise of Self-Acceptance

11:45 Unpacking the Fear of Failure

14:12 The Impact of Toxic Positivity

17:47 Tapping into the Observer Self

18:01 Exercises to Connect with the Observer Self

20:50 Understanding the Observer Self

24:03 Experiencing Different Moods

26:11 Relating to Past Experiences

29:59 Overcoming the Fear of Failure

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

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