I think one of the most difficult things we do to ourselves as parents is to make ourselves appear happy on the outside when we really feel stressed on the inside. The amount of energy it takes to put on a show of happiness is tremendous. Especially when we are already busy working on trying to solve what is making us feel stressed. The extra effort to appear happy taxes our system even more.

Modern life has given us this false idea that we have to be enjoying ourselves on a moment-to-moment basis to be successful or happy. There is a trend to document all the #beautiful, #authentic, #blessings, #whatever to show everyone that we’re making it. This can be as simple as the specialty coffee that drink every morning or sweaty selfies at the gym or even an Amazon haul to show of fashion forward we are.

From the outside our lives can appear to others as a fantasy or dream. Those people looking at our lives from the outside can’t see or feel the daily stress that creeps in just to get by. Jobs can be challenging, children can go through periods that test our patience as parents, illnesses can surprise us, and sometimes there is just bad luck that throws us a curveball. This dissonance between what we actually live and what we present to others to see from the outside can create a social pressure to give people what they expect. It can almost make us feel like we have an unconscious obligation to perform.

There are numerous costs to us, and our families, when we pretend we are fine, even when we’re not.