Six months into his divorce from his wife of 13 years and with two young kids, Mark reflects on what he learned, and what he wished he knew earlier.

Mark also shares some practical advice about:
• Navigating the first weeks and months of a divorce
• Enjoying time with the kids
• Enjoying time without the kids
• Learning how to share the news with friends
• Setting boundaries with his ex, including physical boundaries with the ex
• The benefits of travel
• Getting through the bad days

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Four months after the divorce, Mark discusses rebuilding his identity, working through his emotions regarding his kids and his ex, and practical self care.

Topics include:

• The surprising benefit of traveling and of not having "being divorced" as one's primary identity
• How to share news of the divorce with friends and family, and the support it brings
• The joy of feeling seen and appreciated by our kids
--- The video Mark is referring to: What if My Ex Says Bad Things About Me to My Kids?
• How the kids are doing, 4 months after the physical separation
• Parenting schedules - how long should kids go without seeing the other parent?
• Responding to kids when they miss the other parent
• Managing the discomfort of real-time conversations with the ex, and considering the benefits of a-synchronous communication like texting or email
• Kids may spend less time thinking about the divorce than the parents
• Working through guilt and shame over the failed relationship
• Learning to enjoy time without the kids
• The fear and guilt of not being with kids for important events that happen when they're with the other parent
• Thinking about starting to date

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• If you are feeling unsafe, hopeless or suicidal, please call 988 for free and confidential counseling, 24/7/365. To find the number if you are outside the US, visit https://brenebrown.com/international-crisis-resources or https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp.

Four and a half months into the divorce, Mark and his ex have a stable parenting schedule, which seems to be mostly working. But behind the scenes, Mark is upset about his ex repeatedly violating boundaries that seem obvious to him, including entering his home without his permission. Our conversation also touches on how to continue co-parenting effectively even when upset with the ex and what to tell the kids when they ask if you still love their mom.

Topics include:

• Accepting the legitimacy of feeling uncomfortable about interacting with the ex
• When the ex wants ad-hoc visits with the kids
• The ex entering into the home without permission to see the kids
• Is my ex intentionally trying to make me upset?
• Co-parenting and coordinating about kids even when upset with the ex
• Setting clear boundaries and expectations with the ex by explaining things that seem obvious but maybe aren't
• Separating emotionally from your ex
• When your kid asks you if you love your ex
• Getting comfortable talking about the divorce with friends
• Self Care and routines with and without the kids

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Five months into the divorce, Mark is enjoying his time with his kids, but struggles with supporting his kids when they complain about not having enough quality time with their mom. We discuss the pros and cons of making changes to the parenting schedule that will give kids more frequent contact with both parents, and think about ways to communicate productively with the other parent about concerns that the kids are raising about their time with the other parent.

Topics include:

• Supporting kids when they miss the other parent
• When your ex isn't spending enough quality time with your kids
• Handling disagreements with the ex when the kids are present
• Parenting schedule: How often should kids see each of the parents?
• Communicating with the ex about complaints that kids express about their time with the ex

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Five and a half months into the divorce, Mark is appreciating his "new normal" and reaping the benefits of having figured out a systematic way for telling friends that he got divorced. We talk about dating as a divorced dad: How to know when you're ready to date, how to date in a way that is mindful of the kids, and where to meet people.

Topics include:

• Updating friends and family about the divorce with a "standard email"
• Feeling okay when the kids are away
• When is it time to start dating?
• Worrying the kids will be upset about the start of dating
• Dating in a way that fits into your life as a divorced dad
• Where and how to meet potential people to date
• Self-care: The importance of seeking therapy, exercising, and connecting with caring friends and family

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• If you are feeling unsafe, hopeless or suicidal, please call 988 for free and confidential counseling, 24/7/365. To find the number if you are outside the US, visit https://brenebrown.com/international-crisis-resources or https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp.

Six months into the divorce, Mark is feeling more emotionally even-keeled and less triggered by his ex. He is learning to enjoy his time away from the kids, and more clearly appreciating not having to take care of the needs of another adult. Mark reflects on the challenges of the early stages of divorce and the strategies that helped him get through it.

Topics include:

• Holiday schedule with the kids
• Doing things with the kids that you couldn't do while married to an ex who likes different things
• How to decide if you are ready to date
• Processing and accepting the shared responsibility for the end of the marriage
• In hindsight: What made mediation so hard
• When things are hard, focus on doing the next necessary thing, without trying to think too far ahead ("putting one foot in front of the other")
• The danger of avoiding conflict and arguments, in marriage and in mediation
• Realizing the ex is a different person than the person you loved in the past
• When and how to talk with kids about their time with the ex
• Supporting kids when they're sad about transitioning away from the ex

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• If you are feeling unsafe, hopeless or suicidal, please call 988 for free and confidential counseling, 24/7/365. To find the number if you are outside the US, visit https://brenebrown.com/international-crisis-resources or https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp.

Seven and a half months into the divorce, Mark continues to reconnect with things that give him joy, and starting to navigate dating as a single dad. We discuss how to make sure the kids are okay as their dad starts to date, how to feel more relaxed and at ease before and during dates, and the recurring theme of setting effective boundaries with the ex.

Topics include:

• Going on the first couple of dates
• How to feel more relaxed and at ease before and during date by focusing on "match" rather than on "being liked"
• Getting back to doing things you love
• Talking with the kids about dating
• Being mindful of not burdening our kids with our negative emotions
• The benefit of scheduling enjoyable activities for immediately after the kids leave
• The importance of diversifying our sources of joy
• Coordinating vacations plans with the ex
• Dealing with missing a kids' birthdays when they're with the ex
• Getting feedback from trusted caring people before sending a critical message to the ex

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• If you are feeling unsafe, hopeless or suicidal, please call 988 for free and confidential counseling, 24/7/365. To find the number if you are outside the US, visit https://brenebrown.com/international-crisis-resources or https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp.

Eight months into the divorce, Mark continues to be surprised by ways his ex makes him uncomfortable, but recognizes that co-parenting is becoming smooth overall, and could be much worse. In our recent conversations, Mark and I discussed alternatives to the parenting schedule Mark and his ex agreed to, which is a "week on, week off" schedule, that does not allow Mark to establish a weekly routine. In this conversation, Mark shares the agreement he reached with his ex to try a different kind of parenting schedule, called a 2-2-5 schedule, which is common in many shared custody co-parenting families. In addition, we discuss the urge to manage what the other parent does with the kids, and what sort of requests and conditions feel reasonable.

Topics include:

• Feeling that the ex is claiming to have a better connection with the kids
• When the ex opens the door with no pants
• How much can we dictate what the ex does with the kids, and who the kids spend time with? (hint: not much)
• Considering playdates as brief childcare
• Realizing the things that are going well in co-parenting
• Preparing to try out a 2-2-5 parenting schedule
• Planning a spring break with the kids

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• If you are feeling unsafe, hopeless or suicidal, please call 988 for free and confidential counseling, 24/7/365. To find the number if you are outside the US, visit https://brenebrown.com/international-crisis-resources or https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp.