TRANSCRIPT:I read a post on instagram that said: adulthood is basically saying as soon as this week is out of the way things will calm down and it’ll be okay, over and over again.We never state *which* week though do we! We keep it vague! That certainly was my life for a long time, at work and at home - believing if I just got this thing done, it would all calm down. I just need to get these emails out the way, or this bit of work done and then I can relax. In fact, that’s how I lived for most of my life. Chasing the idea of obtaining something in the belief that then, then, things would feel different. Better. Complete. Less stressed.My entire life consumed with the idea that when I bought a certain thing my life would be happier; when I achieved a specific work milestone or number of instagram followers, or income amount, I’d somehow feel accomplished and that life would be better. Chasing all the time for more. Not in a consciously greedy way, but in an entirely unconscious, un-present way that had somehow gripped me like an obsession I wasn’t even aware I had. A behavioural addiction in its truest sense. There was no malice; it wasn’t like I was thinking I’d be better than other people if I had a specific object, or appeared on a certain TV program, but the drive existed nonetheless, entirely selfishly, for me, because I was sucked into the idea that I would somehow be not even happier, just happy, more content sure, but also that I would feel successful or validated conditionally when that certain thing was achieved. But it never, ever, ends.We’re always running after something we believe we’ll be happier for having. Sound familiar?Hello everyone, my name is Jez Rose, and welcome to episode 4 of my weekly podcast ‘do it different’.“Please sir”, replied Oliver, “I want some more”. In Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist the young boy seeks more and is cruelly punished for his greed. More, more, more is what so many seem to blindly seek, perfectly able to justify why we need a new car, a new item of clothing, more shoes, the latest thingy majig from an instagram ad. Reaching desperately to the future that will be brighter, easier, happier with the latest temptation of our desire. Desire is the root of all evil, and all our futures are a graveyard, so why are we rushing there?Well it’s not that we’re all bad people, it’s that we have a powerful relationship with the chemicals that impact our brain like dopamine - the feel-goodHormone that is released when good things happen to us. It’s so powerful that we actively seek more of it, and our brains quickly connect which behaviours are linked to getting the dopamine fix of feeling positive and stimulated. The social status that comes with the purchase of an expensive item of clothing, for example. The feeling of being part of an elite group. Better than others. Safe. Superior. All very primitive desires from a survival and development perspective.Looking back, did anything get better for us in the way we hoped it might because of us reaching for more? Well, of course, for a time….. but then we reach for more again, and I do know nothing makes us happy for long or cures any ill feeling. Nothing we buy or do secures us in a place of nirvana forever. We are only ever managing the impact on us of external factors, and as fellow Buddhist Cory Muscara said: until you are able to hold the discomfort of life with stillness and presence, your inner world will continue to push you into unconscious reactivity. The tragedy of life is not death but what we let die inside of us while we live. It is true that sometimes we need to be brave enough to outgrow the life we’ve built, but we should never do that at the expense of living right now, and buying our way to happiness, or relying on the future version of ourselves to be happy, sorted, less stressed and to have it all together is futile, and entirely at odds with reality. When I realised this, I looked through all of my possessions - every item I owned. Why did I buy the £1000 luggage? Is it any better than luggage even half that amount? No. So I sold it. Why did I buy £200 pencils? Are they beautiful? Yes. Do they have exactly the same graphite inside them as one dollar pencils. Yes. So I sold them. Then my attention turned to items. Things. Stuff. Sat on our shelves, on surfaces, window ledges and in cabinets. And I’m talking about the things you can see, that you buy to make your house look pretty. Or so that’s what we tell ourselves. Do we need them? For me, I realised for much of them, no. If it didn’t have an essential purpose, or deep personal meaning, I sold it. Looking around, I realised I had more than enough. And then there were the drawers and cupboards full of more things collected over years and just coming along for the ride because we have greater feelings of security with the more possessions we have: security symbols. All the time seeking more of ...
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2024/11/0512 分