HIghlights - Ears (Part 6, Episode 43) Persuasion Starts Here

People don’t care what we know until they know that we care.”

To listen well is the first step in caring. Persuasion begins with listening well.

Four scenarios:

1. When someone is angry

2. When you are trying to make a sale

I discovered early on that people don’t buy from me because they understand what I’m selling. They buy because they feel understood.’ Jon benefits from his natural tendency to ask a lot of questions and to listen closely to the answers. (Susan Cain, Quiet)

3. When someone has an opposing point of view

When we try to convince people to think again, our first instinct is usually to start talking. Yet the most effective way to help others open their minds is often to listen. (Adam Grant, Think Again)

4. When you would like to share about your religious faith

We could do a far better job of patiently listening. And we should not talk until we can
represent the skeptic’s viewpoint with empathy so that a skeptic friend says, ‘Yes, that is my hang up; I couldn’t have put it better myself.’ Only then should we try to...recommend the Christian faith to them. (Tim Keller, “Why We Argue Best with our Mouths Shut,” Christianity Today. May 26, 2017)

Evangelism is joining the Holy Spirit in a conversation he’s already having with someone. (Kevin Palau)

Tension drops when people feel heard. Ask questions and care about the answers. (Kevin Palau)

I’m willing to bet the farm that in our postmodern society the most important evangelistic skill is listening. (Todd Hunter, the former CEO of Alpha USA)

If you want to talk to somebody honestly, as a human being, ask him about his kids, find out what his dreams are – just to find out, for no other reason. Because as soon as you lay your hands on a conversation to steer it, it's not a conversation anymore; it's a pitch. And you're not a human being; you’re a marketing rep. End Quote 

Listening well prepares the ground for persuasion. But persuasion should not be our primary reason for listening well. We listen well because we genuinely care about the other person. We listen well because people are important whether or not they buy from us, agree with our politics or theology or continue to be mad at us. People are important for their own sake, not as a means to an end. The primary reason for listening well is because we genuinely care about others.