#19 – If I had to Do it All Over Again

The Wendy M. Johnson Show

[Overview -Main points]

1. What I wish I would have done differently,

2. What I wish I was told and

3. What I wish I had available to me in My Journey of Healing from Sexual Abuse

Do you want to know what I wish I had known if I could do it all over again? There are things I wish I had known—things that could have made healing less overwhelming and more hopeful.

Accepting the Truth

I didn’t doubt my own memories. My family was bullying me to doubt myself. Now this was a big deal because I always doubted myself. I had extremely low self-worth and was insecure. I felt broken. But after being sober, and seeing the truth for the first time in my life, feeling robbed of my childhood, I wasn’t going to let them rob me of my own truth, my own memories that haunted me.

I couldn’t doubt them if I wanted to. They came through, I saw my past, and started to understand why I had so heavily drank or did drugs at such a young age - to numb out those memories that kept pushing their way to the surface. Discovering the truth was something my family did not want me to talk about.

Now, this is the part I want to talk to you about because it was at this time when I needed help. Real help. Help specific to my abuse. I had no idea where to get it.

What I would have done differently with the knowledge I have now is first get help immediately. Do not worry if it is okay to reach out for help.

Now, what type of help? Don’t waste time trying anything but finding a therapist or coach or a place to go that specializes in sexual abuse. It’s that simple. You don’t go to a knee doctor if you have a problem with your eyes. You go to a specialist. Same with mental health.

So to recap: what would I do differently? I would find help immediately and I would go where they specialize in sexual abuse or my type of trauma.

What I wish I was told.

If I could go back, there are the messages I would have desperately wanted for someone to tell me during my most difficult moments. One is that healing is possible and that I can feel whole again [Listen to the podcast for more].

What I wish I had available to me.

I wish I had known the importance of having the right resources and support. Healing from sexual abuse is incredibly hard to do alone. I needed a guide to help me navigate the process, and eventually after a couple of years, I found a therapist who specialized in sexual abuse. I grew more with her help than through any other outlets.

Here’s a glance at this episode…

- [5:36] But this truth, although horrible, those memories gave me some type of hope that I was the way I was because of them and maybe I could change that.

- [8:11] If you have been sexually abused, get help. Do not make excuses such as this is a private matter. When I hear people say that-I hear a person who is stuck and will stay stuck until they reach out for help.

- [10:48] I would want someone to tell me that I am not damaged because of what happened to me. The abuse was something inflicted upon me, not a reflection of my worth or value as a person.

- [12:44] The stigma and blame that survivors often face can feel unbearable. I wish someone had told me that I would be okay, despite what society, my community, or even my family might project onto me.

- [17:28] I promised after I had raised my children that I would create a product that would help other survivors not waste precious time searching for help.

Isn’t it time you invest in the right resources to get you closer to being free from your past?

Listen in, get ready to take some notes, and get ready for your next breakthrough with learning about what can save you time in your healing journey by accepting your truth, learning from the right messages, and finding the right resources to get you on the right path!

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