Hey Mama who wants to grow her friendships but doesn’t quite know how…

Welcome to Part 4 of a Vision for Your Friendships. Today I’m sharing with you some of the ways I’ve been able to cultivate the relationships I truly want. 

Friendship begins in the mind. 

When I first became a stay-at-home mom, I imagined I would be automatically connected to all those moms I saw out for a stroll with each other and their kids. But it wasn’t that easy. 

Even back then, before I knew what mindfulness was, I knew this line of thinking wasn’t going to get me anywhere. 

Another way to get thoughts out of our minds is to journal. Just write down some of the thoughts you’re having about friendship.

I had to shift my thinking so I was open to opportunities that didn’t fit my original picture of what I thought my mom friend life would look like.

I started chatting with one mom who happened to show up at the park around the time I did. I invited her to my house that very first day! We became friends. This wasn’t the gaggle of moms I imagined. But she was my first mom friend. 

I also pushed myself out of my rhythm and got to the park earlier a day or two a week. A couple of conversations led to a group of moms inviting me to their weekly playdates.

We have pictures of what the seasons of motherhood are going to look like. And in order to live a more satisfying life, to savor the season we’re in, we may have to adjust our picture. 

Friendship gives us a sense of belonging, allows us to have adult conversations, support, wisdom, knowledge, chats that are honest, vulnerable, and authentic. 

I’ve talked about what you can do to make connections when they’re not just happening organically in Episode 22. Listen to that episode for more details, but here’s a few ideas. 

MOPS

If you’ve got a child – from infant to preschooler, walk don’t run to the nearest MOPS group. 

MOMS IN PRAYER

If you’re a mom with school-age and beyond kids, this is an international group with local groups that pray for an hour a week for our children and their schools. A life-changer for me.

There’s also MeetUps groups, Music Together, Mocha Moms, YMCA/YWCA, churches, synagogues, yoga studios, and more local groups. Google Mom Groups in my area. 

If you have a group of friends or even acquaintances you can gather with, consider meeting regularly over a shared interest like a book or study or area in which you’d like to grow. I met with my Friday group for 20 years. 

Here are the elements of this kind of group.

1. Commitment of One - Our group started because one woman felt called to host and make space in her home and calendar to host women every week for spiritual growth. 

2. Commitment of at Least Some – Gather a core group of five or so women who are committed to meeting. We met most Fridays, from 1:00-3:00 pm before our school-age kids got home. 

3. Agreed Upon Topic – Our group wanted Christian spiritual fellowship and growth.  Together, we decided what book or study we would dive into. 

4. KISS Principle – Keep It Simple Sweetheart – Our hostess put out a setup for tea. There was no pressure to feed people. Brown bag lunches were welcome. 

5. Community Mentality – All were welcome. All gatherings were strictly confidential. Most attendees were Christian, seekers were welcome. 

If the idea of starting this kind of group is intimidating but you’d love to do it, reach out to me using the Contact Form in the show notes. I’d love to help.