trigger warnings: suicidal ideation, domestic violence, child abuse, family trauma, complex trauma, church hurt, spiritual abuse, depression

This extended episode is not easy listening and not family friendly. Prepare yourself for uncomfortable and painful storytelling before you tap the play button. Be ready to pause or stop listening when you feel triggered or it’s just too much. We know this is not for the faint of heart.

Wellness coach Sonia Lee shares some stories from her personal experiences, full of pain and shame, because to name them all would be overwhelming for her and us. She explains why it’s important to go back to those painful memories through story work and body work in the process of healing, growth, and transformation. She also poignantly speaks of her crumbling under church hurt, and how even that became a turning point for her discovery of real love, spirituality, and community.

Her life was at stake, and so is yours. Don’t get stuck in the darkness of shame, merely surviving and suffocating. Healing is hard work. And, your life is worth it. May this story give you a bit more faith to take a courageous step towards hope and healing.

And, stay connected to Erasing Shame on our socials to get your invitation for the upcoming webinar with Sonia Lee, where she will unpack more about how to heal from church hurt.

Our Asian American experiences are interwoven with multiple layers of pain and shame, intergenerational trauma, neglect, survival, both conscious and unconscious moments, that shape who we are, how we see the world, and how that shapes our spirituality in Christian churches.

In collaboration with Asian American Christian Network of Atlanta (AACNA), this is the unedited raw episode of our extended conversations for nearly 2 hours, with: Dr. Stan Sonu (Pediatrics Physician), Hannah An (Worship Leader and Spiritual Director), David Park (Pastor & Nonprofit Consultant), and DJ Chuang (this podcast’s co-host & Digital Strategy Consultant).

We took time deliberating whether exploring the essence of an Asian American Christian was esoteric or essential, because it’s not really an all or nothing proposition, though it seems like not many are openly engaging in this topic, at least not in public, as if our spirituality and theology was absent of any cultural context. We discuss why it might be important to embrace one's ethnic identity as God sees it, rather than abstract theological concepts. We’ve noticed that in many Asian American churches, God is often talked about in an abstract sense, and what is needed is a deeper relationship with God. We realize that this process of unlearning and relearning is difficult. We use fancy words like dialectic, industrialization, Xanga, blogging, unintended harm, physiology, and much more.

What do you think? Add a comment to chime in with where this conversation should drill down further and farther.

Show Notes at erasingshame.com/why-do-few-asian-american-christians-care-about-being-asian-american/

Han Namgung spent his formative years in Korea and Kenya, and he reflects on how his upbringing shaped his path toward a career in counseling. He explores the concept of feeling like a "forever traveler," navigating different cultures and communities. Additionally, he addresses the challenges of living in a society that prioritizes high achievement and status.

Han recognizes that shame is a common motivator and can stifle authenticity and connection. He affirms that our aspirations should extend beyond simply seeking to eliminate shame; instead, we should strive for a state of peace or joy that enriches our lives.

Show notes at erasingshame.com/han-namgung-unpacks-belonging-mental-health-a-tck-between-korea-kenya-and-the-united-states-s7e08/

DJ Chuang and his younger brother Deef share openly about their personal mental health experiences with mental health, neurodiversity, and bipolar disorder. We noted the importance of finding containment to process emotions, especially in dealing with depression and lack of language.

We emphasized the need for gentle approaches to healing and the benefits of practices like therapy, journaling, and meditation. We touched upon the challenges of expressing emotions in cultures that value social harmony over individual expression, like the effects of Confucianism upon most Asian cultures. Our conversation also touch on the concept of rebirth and finding meaning and growth from past traumas, emphasizing the importance of recognizing potential for growth and acceptance of the new normal. Maybe we didn't get into our family dynamics too much, but you can listen and add a comment if you think we did or didn't enough.

A recurring sentiment is that the guilt-based theology about Christian salvation, known as soteriology, doesn't make sense to Asians and Asian Americans who have a honor-shame worldview.

Vincent Mo wrote up a research paper for a seminary certificate course, in which he reviewed academic papers, known as a lit review, that addressed soteriology from honor-shame perspectives, at the intersection of systematic theology, missions, and Asian cultures.

Listen to this episode and learn how Eastern perspectives on salvation increases our hope, healing, and gratitude as Asians and Asian Americans, that each and every one of us is more valuable than we've ever realized.

Show Notes erasingshame.com/jesus-erased-shame-and-gave-us-honor-dignity-and-glory/

“Is it a disgrace to be Born a Chinese? Didn’t God make us all!!! What right have you to bar my children out of the school because she is a chinese Decend.” These are some of the questions Mrs. Mary Tape wrote to the California Board of Education in 1885.

Marie Chan, author of Mamie Takes A Stand, highlights a hidden figure in Asian American history: Mamie Tape. The journey of learning and sharing Mamie’s story grew from Marie’s curiosity and consistent pursuit to learn about school segregation in California.

In this episode, Marie and Victoria discuss the personal and meaningful impact of reading books with representation and celebration of diverse storytelling. Marie emphasizes the concept of imago dei (God created all humans in God’s image), which calls for the celebration of unique and interconnected identity formation.

Marie Chan’s Website: mariechan.com/books

https://erasingshame.com/marie-chan-mamie-tapes-story-and-compassionate-storytelling-s7e07/

Content Warning / Trigger Warning: sexual violence/rape.

Midori Doumani is half Japanese and half Mexican and happy to share her heritage when directly asked. She navigates ambiguity about her perceived ethnic identity with compassion. As a kid and young adult, generationally infused shame affected her decisions. Her close-knit family dynamics and her desire to preserve the family's routine, led her to not disclose her own distressing and heartbreaking incident to anyone for ten years.

Presently, Midori models a healthy acknowledgment and expression of shame and discomfort. She sets the example for her children to grow confident in their diverse identities and spiritual vocations. Midori’s faith in Jesus and her deep-rooted heart’s desire for her family are significant factors in her healing journey. She and her husband champion education on emotional well-being and conflict resolution, and they desire to inspire others to heal and share their testimonies.

Show notes at erasingshame.com

On this Erasing Shame conversation, Rev. Dr. Ken Fong explains the difference between toxic shame and healthy shame—how they're two different things. Toxic shame carries the message that there's something inherently wrong with oneself, leading individuals to either blame others or internalize the feeling and become worthless. Healthy shame, on the other hand, acknowledges mistakes and wrongdoings, allowing for growth and the reception of grace. He also shares insights into the cultural significance of shame in the Asian American community and the importance of authenticity and healthy connections in a chaotic world.

• Asian America: The Ken Fong Podcast asianamericapodcast.com

• Show Notes at erasingshame.com