FAITH OVER FEAR | Episode 11: The Battle Is Now: Surviving the Fire of Spiritual Warfare

This episode is not polished—it’s unfiltered. Fresh off the pages of my life, I lead you through the intense spiritual battle I’ve walked over the past three weeks - especially the last 72 hours.

On June 1, I wrote my Substack post, “No More Gray: The Enemy Is Real and the Battle Is Now,” It was scheduled for posting on July 7 and so today it posted.

In this post I wrote about the moment you choose Jesus, you become a marked person. But I had no idea what was coming for me… until I found myself under relentless spiritual attack from friends, family, and community.

This past July 4th while encountering a crushing, physically, mentally and spiritually draining episode, I cried out in desperation: “God, take me home, or I will.” I felt like I was in Gethsemane: sweating, weeping, broken. I’ve pleaded the blood of Jesus over my home, bed, body, and mind… yet the attacks didn’t stop. The cloak of darkness still presses, trying to suffocate my peace and my purpose.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• • What spiritual warfare really looks like (and it’s never just “little things”)
  • Why the enemy uses people closest to you—those he knows how to hurt you through
  • The deadly danger of isolation and how fighting alone plays right into his hands
  • How to wage war—and how to win— using community, prayer, Scripture, and spiritual tools
    

• This is no fluff. This is the war zone. And friend, God is bigger than it all. You may feel targeted, but you are not alone. The battle may feel insurmountable—but the war has already been won through Christ. His victory is our victory.

  
  

  The Prayer of Salvation. Call Jesus into your life.

  Heavenly Father, I know that I am a sinner and need your forgiveness. I believe that Jesus Christ is your Son, that He died on the cross for my sins, and that He rose again. I turn away from my sins and invite Jesus to come into my heart and be my Lord and Savior. Thank you for your gift of salvation and eternal life. In Jesus' name, Amen.

  And if you prayed that prayer, you have been set free. Cleansed and forgiven for your sins. You have started a relationship with Jesus Christ.

  Some next steps for you would be to:

  • Find a church: Connect with a local Christian community for support and guidance.
  • Study the Bible: Begin learning more about Jesus through scripture.
  • Pray regularly: Communicate with God through prayer.
  • Live a life that reflects your faith: One day at a time…

  
  

  Resources & Next Steps

  • Read the original Substack post “No More Gray” to grasp the prophetic weight behind this season - and to connect with a community of fighters.
    

  • Join Abide & Arise, our prayerful, supportive sisterhood, where we uphold one another in real-time warfare.
    

  • If you're new to walking with Jesus, you’ll want those prayer tools and Scripture lists I promised - start with Faith Over Fear on Substack and then come over to Abide & Arise.
    

  You are not fighting alone. Together, we stand.

  
  If this message resonated with you, leave a comment, subscribe to the podcast, or share it with a friend.

A Life of Striving, A Heart in Transition, A Faith That Heals

What do you do when your whole life has been about striving - to be loved, to be seen, to be accepted, and suddenly, God asks you to stop? To cease striving and just… be?

In this deeply personal episode, I open up about the journey from a lifetime of emotional starvation to the slow, painful process of spiritual healing and surrender. I grew up feeling invisible, unwanted, and blamed. I learned early that striving was the only way to survive - striving to please, to perform, to become whatever I thought others needed in order to love me. When that didn’t work, I stopped trying and leaned into the identity they gave me: the black sheep. The problem. The one who never measured up.

Striving became my default setting - my means of survival. I chased attention, validation, and affection in places that broke me more than they built me. I was starving for love and consuming anything that looked like it might fill the void. People, relationships, roles, achievements - it was never enough. I was never enough.

And then trauma hit. The kind that changes you at your core. I lived through things no one should have to experience - abuse, abandonment, violation - and still, I kept going. Still striving. Still searching. Still aching.

Until I couldn’t anymore.

Becoming a mother shifted something in me. My children became my mission, my purpose, my healing balm. I poured my love into them the way I had always wanted someone to pour into me. And yet even in that, I was still striving - striving to be the perfect mom, the best wife, the most dependable employee, the star student.

The addiction to being enough was still alive and well.

And here’s the hard truth: even after walking with God for over 20 years, I still find myself striving for His love. I know He loves me. I know I don’t have to earn it. But after a lifetime of trying to prove my worth, letting that truth sink deep - past the wounds, the trauma, the memories - that takes time. That takes surrender. That takes a willingness to feel the very things I’ve spent decades numbing.

Healing is not a moment. It’s a process. It’s a transition. It’s a slow letting go of what was in order to embrace what is being made new.

And right now, I’m in the tension, the in-between. The space between the old patterns and the new promises. Between striving and surrender. Between surviving and being still. Between doing and simply being.

And maybe you are too.

This episode is for every one who’s ever felt like they had to fight to be seen. For the one who’s tired of performing. For the one who’s addicted to proving. For the one who knows the truth of God’s love but still feels like they have to earn it.

You don’t.

God is doing a new thing in you. Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s slow. Even if it still hurts sometimes.

You are not who you were. You are becoming. And that is holy ground.

Scripture: “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up - do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18–19

If this episode speaks to you, please share it with someone else who needs to know they don’t have to strive to be loved. God already calls them enough.

Check out my writings on Substack at Whyfaithoverfear

Seen, Known, and Still Searching: Wrestling with Loneliness and God’s Presence

Description:
Have you ever felt unseen - even when surrounded by people? Have you reached for God in prayer, only to wonder if He's still near?

In this deeply personal episode, I reflect on my own season of emotional and spiritual loneliness and the soul-deep longing for belonging, connection, and meaning.

Through vulnerability and scripture, I wrestle with the ache of feeling invisible, the struggle to wait on God, and the paradox of being faithful in a season that feels silent.

You'll hear honest questions like:

• What do I do when I feel unseen?

• How do I keep believing when God feels far away?

• Is this waiting season wasted?

You’re not alone in these questions - and this episode is your reminder that even in the silence, you are seen.

Scriptures referenced in this episode:

Psalm 68:6

“God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.”

Lamentations 3:25–26

“The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”

Psalm 42:1–2

“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?”

Thank you for spending this time with me today. If this episode spoke to you, would you consider sharing it with someone else who might need a reminder that they are not alone?

Leave a comment, a review, subscribe, or just reach out and let me know how God is working in your life. I love hearing from you. You can also find me on Substack at Why Faith Over Fear.