I came to Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) fifteen years ago weighing 211 pounds. Despite countless diets, fasts, and exercise routines, I couldn’t maintain weight loss until I found FA. Beneath my career ambitions, I was plagued by shame and self-loathing, constantly trying to project whatever image people wanted—determined, fun, or athletic. For confidence, I relied on drugs, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, and, most of all, food. In my twenties, I replaced meals with liquid protein supplements, which led to hospitalization, a two-week coma, and the loss of a kidney. Even after that ordeal, I continued fasting and restricting my food intake during the week, and bingeing and purging on weekends - all to suppress my anger and rage. I was an out-of-control food addict, destroying everything in my path—my relationships with colleagues, friends, family, my bank account, and certainly my own health. My therapist, after determining I had probably lost and gained 700 pounds in my lifetime, admitted she couldn’t help, but she suggested I try FA. I didn’t want to go to a meeting—my life was very busy, after all. But I was desperate and broken, so I went to a meeting, and I found hope. Today, I no longer obsess over food or body image, I’ve mended relationships, including with my husband, and let go of the shame that once consumed me. I no longer compare myself to others, and instead focus on what’s right in my world. FA and the 12 steps have given me the tools to live life on life’s terms, and for that I’m deeply grateful.

This food addict’s story was about fear, which led her to go to the food. It was a drug that made her feel safe. Although her family looked normal from the outside, her dad was an alcoholic, and she did not realize how cunning the disease of addiction was until later in life. As early as five years old, she was uncomfortable in her body. There was a constant desire to be thin, leading her to avoid eating all day, just to come home and binge. High school consisted of drinking and smoking. After one year of college, she married her high school boyfriend, had two children, and stayed clean for a while. Her marriage ended in divorce, leaving her a single mom and broke. She knew alcohol was a problem, so she joined Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) at age 39. Despite seeing her sister suffer from bulimia and anorexia, and ultimately die by suicide, she continued to eat addictively. After getting sober, she finally realized food was also a problem. She eventually found Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA). Underweight when joining the program, she has now been at a healthy weight for almost 20 years. She is available for her relationships - showing up as a mother and a grandmother. After obtaining several degrees, there is joy in her career. She now has a kit of tools that helps her feel safe and live free from food addiction. She hopes others can experience that miracle too.

A food addict from New South Wales, Australia, I am the youngest of three who grew up with a strict, abusive father and a hardworking, protective mother. My childhood was filled with deep-seated fear, including night terrors, fear of the dark, and fear of my father. Despite having a large, extended family around me, I felt totally alone and alienated. As a child, I was trained by Olympian swimmers to be on the national team, but I got scared and quit the sport. Then I found dancing and went off to the UK to study ballet. Once again, fear led me to drop out. I realize now that opportunity frightened me, so I kept saying "no." Amid personal struggles with identity and acceptance, including abuse and familial disapproval, food was my constant source of comfort. At times, I would wake up at four in the morning and start cooking before leaving for work, only to start cooking again when I got home. My eating grew worse, and I started using bulimia and extreme dieting to control my weight. Thankfully, despite initial skepticism, I attended a meeting of Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA), which provided a pathway to recovery and self-discovery. I have embraced my true identity as a gay man and embarked on a journey of healing and personal growth. I never thought I would live past forty, but today I am sixty-one, with dreams and hopes for the future. I thought I was too damaged, too broken, and too far gone, but FA proved me wrong. I thought it wouldn’t, but this program absolutely works.