Welcome to Foster Family Matters

Thank you for joining us! Welcome to another episode of Foster Family Matters with your hosts Ryan North, Lori Fangue, LPC, Jailynn Smiley, and Shawn Wilson. Our show is a production of CK Family Services. We are a foster care, adoption, and behavioral health non-profit organization serving children and families in North and Central Texas.

What Are We Chatting About Today?

We are back baby! Come meet our newest show host, Jailynn Smiley, and hear about our plans for gearing episodes back up. We missed you during our time away and are really excited to get back in the saddle . . . so to speak.

We don’t get too heavy into a specific topic in this one. Its more conversational. A chance to get to know us a little better. 😊

Connect with Our Hosts

The Show Website: www.fosterfamilymatters.org

The Show Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/fosterfamilymatters

Subscribe

If you found value in today’s episode, remember to subscribe to the show (so you’ll be notified when we post new content) and share the link with your friends to spread the love.

Thank you for listening!

Welcome to Foster Family Matters

Thank you for joining us! Welcome to another episode of Foster Family Matters with your hosts Shawn Wilson, Ryan North, and Lori Fangue, LPC. Our show is a production of CK Family Services and we are a foster care, adoption, and behavioral health non-profit organization serving children and families in North and Central Texas.

What Are We Chatting About Today?

Today’s episode is part 5 of our 5-part series, The Four Tenets of Health Relationships. Jude Cassidy did some research and formulated a theory that there are four tenets that a secure relationship in order to be healthy and positive. The four tenants we are discussing are; giving nurture, receiving nurture, negotiating wants and needs and being interdependent. We will dive into each of these during our discussions. In this episode, we are looking at the important role that negotiation plays in the context of healthy relationships.

Discussion Points

• Needs vs. Wants
• Get Good at Setting Boundaries
• Compromises
• Prioritize Teachable Moments
• Debating vs. Negotiating
• Keep it Playful
• Realize and Understand What You and Your Child are Bringing to the Negotiation
• Negotiation is a Skill to be Practiced and Improved
• Win, Win or No Deal Mindset
• More "YES" = Better Reception of "No"
• Create Hope

In the context of a healthy relationship, negotiate from the perspective of trying to meet the other person's needs. You have to remember that you value the other person and that you want them to get what they want/need. So negotiate with a win, win mindset where all parties seek to leave with Hope.

Be mindful of your own identity and esteem. Your voice needs and deserves to be heard.

Connect With Our Hosts

The Show Website: www.fosterfamilymatters.org

The Show Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/fosterfamilymatters

Subscribe

If you found value in today’s episode, remember to subscribe to the show (so you’ll be notified when we post new content) and share the link with your friends to spread the love.

Thank you for listening!

Interdependence: Part 4 of the Four Tenets of Healthy Relationships

Welcome to Foster Family Matters

Thank you for joining us! Welcome to another episode of Foster Family Matters with your hosts Shawn Wilson, Ryan North, and Lori Fangue, LPC. If you don’t already know, we are a foster care, adoption, and behavior health non-profit in North Texas.

What Are We Chatting About Today?

Today’s episode is part 4 of our 5-part series, The Four Tenets of Health Relationships. There are four tenants; giving nurture, receiving nurture, negotiating wants and needs and being interdependent. We will dive into each of these during our discussions. In this episode, we are looking at the important role that interdependence plays in the context of healthy relationships.

A Little Background

Jude Cassidy did some research and formulated a theory that there are four things that a secure relationship in order to be healthy and positive. Today we are specifically talking about the importance of interdependence in the context of healthy relationships.

In This Episode

• What interdependence means
• Losing your identity as a parent
• Making relationships a priority
• Quality vs quantity relationships
• Relationships need two people
• Raising an independent member of society

Interdependent does not mean independence. Interdependence is the notion that you must be dependent on someone in order to gain a sense of independence. In order to get to a certain level of independence, we will have to rely on others and allow others to help us.

It’s common to take on whatever we spend most of our time doing. We aren’t just a spouse, a parent or our job. Part of your identity is made up of different things. Not one of those things is the totality of your identity. What is your identity?

You must honor who you are to be present for others. Do you feel comfortable doing things by yourself? Do you end one intimate relationship and jump to the next one without taking time for reflection and self-care? Do you need someone else to make you feel worthy? If so, it may be time to evaluate your independence.

Interdependence is the healthy version of independence. We were made to take care of each other and be in relationship with others. There’s a line between independence and isolation. We weren’t created for isolation.

Connect With Our Hosts

The Show Website: www.fosterfamilymatters.org

The Show Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/fosterfamilymatters

Subscribe

If you found value in today’s episode, remember to subscribe to the show (so you’ll be notified when we post new content) and share the link with your friends to spread the love.

Thank you for listening!

Thank you for joining us! Welcome to another episode of Foster Family Matters with your hosts Shawn Wilson, Ryan North, and Lori Fangue. If you don’t already know, we are a foster care, adoption, and behavior health non-profit in North Texas.

Today we have a special guest with us. Her name is Lauren Hudgeons. She is a foster and adoptive parent as well as an attorney. Lauren works with kids in the state’s conservatorship. She will be answering various questions that many foster parents have.

Lauren has a passion for supporting other parents going through this. 90 percent of what she does is represent children. On the other side, she has been a foster to adoptive mom twice. She has a wide perspective that encompasses both sides of the process.

We are currently focused on social media and trying to grow the show. We are extremely grateful and excited about the success we’ve seen so far. We’ve also started posting video versions of the show on Facebook and YouTube as well as highlights on Instagram TV. Make sure to check those out!

If you aren’t already a member, you can also join our Facebook group called Foster Family Matters to find community with likeminded parents. The group is really about relationships in a familial setting and connecting with people who have similar interests in improving relationships.

• Guardian ad litem vs attorney ad litem
• The legal system moves at its own pace
• Permanency hearings
• Primary and secondary goals
• How Lori got into law and fostering
• Investing and committing to a child
• Requirements for termination and best interest of the child
• What intervention is
• PMC and what it is
• Contacting an adoption attorney and when to do so
• Cost of a CPS adoption

With adoption, you will have various individuals involved in the process, including an agency worker, attorney ad litem, etc. Many people don’t know who shows up when. During this episode, we will cover the different people who will be involved in the process of adoption and when to expect to interact with them. For example, you can expect to see Casa typically each month.

The legal process can be somewhere between intimidating and frustrating. That can stem from a lack of understanding of how things happen. Expectations of how things should happen can cause frustration. Part of the reason the process takes so long is the statutory guidelines.

During the process, there are primary and secondary goals. These can change at any point in the process depending on the circumstances. Another topic of conversation is intervention. An intervention is where the foster parent hires an attorney and becomes a legal party to the suit.

When adopting, it’s important to remember no two cases are the same. There are so many components and moving pieces as well as people. It’s important to solidify realistic expectations. You can’t compare and contrast your situation to anyone else because that can be really unhealthy. The game is the same, but the players are different. Each team is different. Each case is different.

Learn more about the process of adoption, things to be aware of, how Lauren helps clients and so much more during this episode of Foster Family Matters.

If you are available to adopt in November, contact Lauren!

FFM Website: www.fosterfamilymatters.org

FFM Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/groups/fosterfamilymatters

FFM YouTube Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-oi9c-AikwduSh2O6dYeTzgC3LbpibTh

FFM Facebook Playlist: https://www.facebook.com/CKFamServices/playlist/366303627602461

Lauren Hudgeons Website: www.hudgeonslawfirm.net

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Thanks for listening!

In episode 14, Shawn, Lori, and Ryan discuss tips for parenting success during the transition from summer routine to the school year.

If you have a community in which you already draw support, consider using this series to fuel your discussion topics. If you are looking for community consider joining our Facebook Group www.facebook.com/groups/fosterfamilymatters where you can get direct access to Shawn, Ryan, and Lori.

The transition back to school can be a source of mixed feelings for both parents and children. Some kids may be making a transition from homeschooling into a private/public school. Others may be coming back from an amazing summer holiday and are forced to face the reality of going back to school. The drastic change of events can be accompanied by strong feelings of emptiness and anxiety. Parents have a major role to play to help their school-going children to manage the transition back to school.

Start to bring the child up to a consistent routine before school begins. Allowing the child to go to bed early every night for two weeks until they get to a typical school routine will ease them into school-life with minimal stress and disruption.

Make a few trips to the school where the child will be reporting in a few weeks to achieve a sense of familiarity. A predictable run will help bring the child up to the challenge of making a transition back to school. The child will eventually work up to his/her typical school routine before making the transition. Parents can also make appointments with the school administration and other related professionals to have the child meet them in person before school begins.

Parents should also cultivate a positive relationship with teachers. Treat the teachers kindly and with respect because they will also reciprocate in a similar manner. Teaching is a challenging profession as it is, and no teacher would appreciate a cruel and rude parent. A positive and fulfilling parent-teacher relationship will work in favor of the child’s welfare in school.

Have all necessities for your child ready prior to his/her first school day. It will minimize confusion and chaos on the first day of school.

A parent-child relationship is critical because only then will the parent understand the child’s needs. Children need to feel supported regardless of how minute their fears may seem. They need to know that their parents are close and available during this often challenging transition. Parents can set aside quality time to spend with children. Breakfast, dinner, and bedtime are among the activities that can be used to listen to their needs.

School-going children have various physical, social and academic needs that can only be explained fully by their parents. Therefore, parents should advocate for their children’s needs by meeting with relevant parties, including counselors, therapists, and school nurses. They should ensure that their children’s needs are accommodated for a smooth transition. Some children have special needs that will need to be addressed as soon as they transition back to school. Parents should ensure that they are met and satisfied to facilitate learning. Only then will the transition be successful. Failure to do will create an unhealthy transition that may become traumatic for the child. Parents have to understand that children have no capacity to learn when they are unsettled.

Parents need to continue being involved. They should know their children’s schedule. They should also take advantage of any help that the school offers.

Thank you for downloading and joining with us in this study/discussion. If you enjoy the content, please remember to help us grow-the-show by sharing a link to our podcast or its episodes with your friends and family. Also, remember to subscribe and give us a positive review. Doing so helps the podcast directories better understand who else might be interested in our discussions.

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