In this week’s episode of Grief Heals, we explore Chapter 5 of Mel Robbins’ book Let Them, which invites us to let them think bad thoughts about you.

And in true Grief Heals fashion, we’re holding that invitation through the lens of grief—not grief as death, but as love bringing nutrients to the soul, the kind that fosters new life, deep self-acceptance, and brave belonging.

Because let’s be real: So many of us were never taught that our loudness, our softness, our mess, our silence, our brilliance—were okay.

We were shaped, shamed, scolded, or celebrated only when we conformed.

And what got lost in all that shaping? Us.

So we talk about that in this episode:

The grief of being judged for who you are

The strategies you developed to belong (people-pleasing, perfectionism, shrinking, rebelling—not bad, just brilliant adaptations)

And the reclamation of your wholeness, not through force but through love

You don’t have to listen to receive something nourishing from this. Here are a few reflection prompts and tools you can use right now:

Reflection Prompts

Whether or not you press play, these are yours to hold.

When was a time you were judged for something beautifully unique about you?

What got lost in the aftermath? What strategy did you develop to stay safe?

What part of you are you still trying to manage or hide to avoid rejection?

Could that part be grieving not being celebrated?

What would it mean to let them judge you—and still love yourself?

What does that kind of freedom feel like in your body?

Practice: Letting Grief Nourish What Was Lost

Close your eyes.

Place a hand on your heart or belly.

Breathe in the phrase: We breathe the same air.

Breathe out: We belong to each other.

Let grief come like water, like wind, like the love you didn’t get then—but are giving to yourself now.

Want to listen?

This episode is full of tender stories, real-time revelations, and an honest look at how grief can meet us right where we are—even in our shame, our mistakes, our need to control.

Even in a too-loud voice or a scraped-up pair of jeans.

This week’s Grief Heals episode is a deep breath, a full exhale, and a tender look at what happens when our inner eight-year-old is still running the show in a very grown-up life.

I’m talking about Chapter 6 of Mel Robbins’ book Let Them, where she explores “grown-ups who throw tantrums”—and of course, I couldn't help but look at it all through the lens of collective grief.

Because here’s the thing: Most of us were never taught that our big emotions are welcome. We weren’t held when we were heartbroken. We were told to “toughen up,” “move on,” or “be good.”

And now?Now we’re walking around in adult bodies with young, un-met, un-witnessed parts of us still aching to be seen.

So in this episode, I share stories from my own life—some tender, some raw—of what it’s looked like to bump up against those unmet parts in myself, in others, and in the systems we live and work inside.

It’s been humbling. It’s been hard. And it’s been holy.

Even if you don’t listen right now (or ever), I want you to know this:

Every time you shut down, avoid conflict, blow up, people please, or retreat into silence… it’s not a moral failing. It’s an emotional pattern born from unmet grief.

And those patterns? They can be witnessed. Loved. Rewritten. Not overnight—but with time, care, and grief met with compassion.

This episode isn’t just about tantrums. It’s about what happens when we start to honor the sacred responsibility of tending to our losses.

Because yes, grief is love.

And love heals—it really does.

Oh—and something new is coming:

I’ll be starting a Let Them Book Club soon, walking through Mel Robbins’ book with you through a grief-heals lens—no pressure to read or be perfect. Just a chance to slow down together, reflect, and notice.

So if you’re curious, if you’re hurting, if you’ve ever found yourself wondering, why am I like this?—this episode is a loving place to begin.

Courageous,

We are living in a time where fear is being wielded to pull us apart—feeding the illusion that we are separate, that it’s us vs. them. But here’s the truth: We belong to each other. And love—real, courageous, unshakable love—asks us to remember that.

I know what it’s like to pull away when I feel misunderstood, to stay quiet when I long to speak, to convince myself that holding back is safer than being fully seen. Self-protection happens automatically—it’s wired into me. Maybe you feel it too.

I’m also discovering that every moment of self-protection is an opportunity. An invitation to pause, notice, and ask: What am I afraid of? What fear is feeding the illusion of separateness?

This episode is for those of us who refuse to be hardened by fear. Who are willing to meet our own discomfort, hold our own grief, and stay open anyway. Because when we stop fighting against fear and instead welcome it with curiosity, we find something powerful: the strength to stand together.

Fear tells me that safety means separation, that if I don’t risk vulnerability, I won’t get hurt. But I know now—that’s how I stay hurting. Real safety comes not from shutting down, but from learning to stand open-hearted in the discomfort, to receive love in new ways, to let myself be known.

I’m inviting you—those committed to love, to connection, to the messy, beautiful work of being fully human—to listen. This is about moving beyond self-protection, anger, and division. It’s about choosing to love fiercely, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

Join me. Let’s remind each other what’s possible.

P.S. If you’re longing for a space to feel connected amidst the divide, join our free Healing Circle. The next one is tomorrow, Tuesday March 18 at 5:30 PM PST—a space to experience belonging, to grieve, to breathe, and to remember that we are not alone. You are welcome here. .

xoxo,

Lisa Michelle