How do you cultivate the 3 different roles of Partner, Lover, and Friend in your singular relationship?

Summer tends to fly by, and it’s easy to find yourself swept up in the busyness. Suddenly it's September, and you realize you haven’t truly connected with your sweetheart. When you intentionally find time for each other, even in small ways, your relationship will grow stronger.

Today, I’m offering you 3 summer time dates to tend each of the three roles in your relationship: Partner, Friend, and Lover:

1. We’ll talk about the balance of the 3 roles and why if The Partner isn’t getting what they need, it can harm your romantic life
2. We’ll focus on all the ways that PLAY—that magic elixir of The Lover is good for calming down the neediness The Partner can bring to your relationship
3. And why the Friend is always the bridge between the other two roles

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

Look for a date night where you can practice noticing all 3 roles--Partner, Friend, and Lover-- and how they contribute to the overall intimacy in your relationship.

Date Night Discussion

This week, think about how each of the roles plays into the connection you have with your sweetheart. Which role do you think is strongest?

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Why did it seem so easy to make friends in kindergarten? And how do you make a new friend now that you’re an adult?

In kindergarten it was easy. Certainly easier. First of all, children that age haven’t yet faced rejection, so they aren’t scared to simply speak their mind, “Want to be my friend?”

Secondly, there were a whole bunch of kids and there was recess. There was a designated time to play with a friend and a host of friends to choose from.

Now that you’re an adult, it feels like there’s never time. And where—WHERE—do I find that pool of people waiting to play? Today, we discuss the role of friendship in your life.

• You’ll get a practical habit to help you make a new friend
• And a discussion prompt so that you and your partner can understand the role of friends in your life outside your relationship

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

This week’s habit for your happily ever after is two-fold:

1. Put yourself into a situation where it’s easier to make a new friend.
2. Find a way that’s comfortable for you to take advantage of that situation.

Date Night Discussion

This week I invite you to talk with your partner about friendship.

Ask your partner who they consider to be good friends? Why does your partner enjoy that person’s or those people’s company? Volunteer the same information, telling your partner about your friends and what they bring to your life.

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When your toddler loses it, it’s tempting for you to lose it too, right? If your kid grabs a toy away from their sibling, do you grab the toy away and say, “We don’t grab things!”

We’ve all done it, right?

Today I talk with Audra Rutnik who helps us understand behavior differently. She fixes behavior at the source: where information is processed. And she’ll help you identify the clues to your child’s—or maybe even your sweetheart’—bad behavior.

Audra Rutnik is a Pediatric Occupational Therapist with 15 years of experience managing childhood behavior. She invites us to view behavior as a message about the way a child is experiencing the world, and understand why simply disciplining your child doesn't work. I believe that young children's behavior can have a huge impact on the intimacy of your relationship, and that's why I invited her onto the podcast.

Habit for Your Happily Ever After

This week’s habit for your happily ever after is to practice the autonomy sandwich with your child. Or, perhaps your task is to acknowledge your sweetheart’s feelings.

Date Night Discussion

This week, especially if you’re encountering repeated behaviors that cause frustration, it will help to get an eagle view of the situation and answer the following two questions:

1. What is the situation or situations where we encounter “downstairs brain” most frequently?
2. How can we offer a full gas tank in those moments? Or, what phrase can we use repeatedly to deal with this “downstairs moment?”

Visit the show notes here.

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Reach me at 970-210-4480

Connect with my guest

Connect with Audra Rutnik on TikTok or Instagram

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