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Death is the one certainty we all share, yet most of us are terrible at talking about it. Whether it's supporting a grieving friend, having end-of-life conversations with family, or processing our own mortality, we stumble through these moments with stock phrases and uncomfortable silences.

In this episode, we're joined by Kate Nolan-Burgess, a grief and identity coach who helps people navigate the many forms grief can take - from bereavement to major life transitions. Kate brings a unique cultural perspective, having grown up in Poland, where death felt woven into everyday life, before moving to the UK, where arguably it's hidden behind euphemisms and avoidance.

We explore why Western culture has made grief harder than it needs to be, what other cultures can teach us about death and mourning, and practical advice for having better conversations around loss. Kate shares insights from her Master's in Death, Religion and Culture, as well as from her work supporting people through The Lost Self Club.

From understanding why we use euphemisms like 'passed away' to learning what NOT to say to someone who's grieving, this episode provides essential skills for one of life's most challenging conversations.

What You'll Learn:

• Why there's no "right way" to grieve and how cultural rituals can help
• The harmful phrases that make grief harder (and what to say instead)
• How to support someone who's grieving without managing their emotions
• Why euphemisms for death reveal our cultural discomfort
• The concept of "Swedish Death Cleaning" and preparing for mortality
• How to talk to children about death honestly and clearly
• Practical phrases for acknowledging grief and loss
• The difference between grief support in individualistic vs. community cultures

This Episode is For You if you want to better support friends, family, or colleagues through loss, struggle with what to say when someone is grieving, are interested in cultural approaches to death and mourning, want to have more honest conversations about mortality, are supporting someone through a major life transition, work in healthcare, counselling, or people management, or are curious about death-positive approaches to end-of-life conversations.

Guest Bio: Kate Nolan-Burgess is a grief and identity coach who helps people navigate loss in all its forms. She holds a Master's in Death, Religion and Culture and founded The Lost Self Club, supporting new mothers through identity transitions. Drawing on a culturally diverse background and lived experience, her work centres on helping people understand that grief isn't a problem to solve but a natural human experience to honour.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Lost Self Club (Kate's programme for new mothers)
• Swedish Death Cleaning concept
• Polish cultural mourning practices
• The problematic "five stages of grief" model

Connect with Kate:

• Instagram: @TheLostSelfClub
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-nolan-burgess/;
• Website: www.thelostselfclub.com

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Ever wished you could think faster in meetings, recover gracefully after a misstep, or connect more confidently in tough conversations? Turns out, stand-up comedy might be your secret weapon.

In this episode, we’re joined by Chris Head – comedy director, author, and speaking coach – to explore what stand-up comedians know about human connection, timing, and bouncing back from awkwardness that the rest of us can use in real life.

We dive into powerful tools from the world of stand-up comedy — including recovery lines, comic framing, and self-deprecation — and how they can be applied to real-life scenarios like difficult work meetings, presentations, public speaking, and even relationship rifts.

Chris explains why playfulness is a powerful antidote to tension, how a well-timed joke (or even just a lighter tone) can defuse conflict, and how comedy helps us handle both literal and metaphorical hecklers. He also shares practical ways to rehearse difficult conversations, build confidence, and find your voice — all without having to step onto a comedy club stage.

Whether you're a team leader, a creative, a coach, or simply someone who wants to communicate more effectively, listen more actively, and recover when things go wrong, this episode offers surprising and valuable takeaways.

You’ll never look at “banter,” awkward silences, or bad Zoom calls the same way again.

What we learned in this episode:

• You don’t have to be funny to use humour.
• Recovery lines help you bounce back when things go wrong.
• Naming the awkward moment can win the room.
• The three-repeat rule keeps you calm and in control.
• Zoom meetings work better when you treat them like real conversations.
• Lightness can be your secret weapon in tough conversations.

This is for you if you're looking to improve your communication skills, navigate difficult conversations, handle conflict with greater ease, or become a more engaging public speaker.

Links

Chris Head’s Books: A Director’s Guide to the Art of Stand-Up , Creating Comedy Narratives For Stage and Screen

Website: ChrisHead.com

Services: Stand-up coaching, comedy writing, speaking coaching

Corporate Training: Available for agency and business workshops - Chris Head Stand-Up & Presentation Coaching

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What do you do when the work that once lit you up now leaves you cold? If you're in midlife or a career cul-de-sac and wondering what next, this episode is for you. Midlife Career Change Coach, Josh Peck, joins us to unpack the real conversations that help people move from stuck to clear, and from disempowered to energised. His methods help bring you and your career back into alignment.

In this illuminating conversation, we talk about fear, identity, money, confidence, and how to ask for what you want - even when you're not sure where to start. Josh shares the three conversations everyone should have before making a career change and explains why most of us are "pre-failing" before we even begin.

Whether you're burnt out, bored, or just ready for something more meaningful, this is a practical and hopeful listen.

In this episode, we explore:

• How to recognise when you're experiencing "Sunday night dread, probably every night of the week"
• The three essential conversations for successful career transitions
• Why career changes rarely happen overnight and how to approach transitions realistically
• How to handle the identity destabilisation that comes with career shifts
• The concept of "pre-failing" and how it keeps us stuck
• Why you're 7x more likely to get a job through conversations than applications
• Setting a target number of conversations to move your career forward
• How to choose conversations wisely and hold them gently
• Navigating financial anxiety during career transitions
• Building your second career on the shoulders of your first

About Josh Peck: Josh Peck is the founder of Your Best Life and the Align career change programme. After 20 years as a corporate lobbyist, Josh made his own midlife career transition and now specializes in helping people navigate career changes that align with who they are, what they do best, and how they want to live.

Running order

00:24 – Why this episode matters: conversations that get you hired
02:33 – Josh’s career pivot: from politics to coaching
06:10 – The Amy Winehouse moment that changed everything
08:36 – The 3 conversations everyone needs to have
13:09 – Why money fear keeps us stuck (and how to manage it)
19:49 – How to deal with unsupportive partners or sceptics
25:41 – Why 50 conversations can unlock your next job
29:11 – “Pre-failing” and how to stop sabotaging yourself
33:48 – How to craft a narrative that makes people want to help
46:46 – Why networking events don’t work (and what to do instead)

Links

• Josh’s website is https://yourbestlifeuk.com/
• Instagram: @YourBestLifeUK

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What do negotiating with kidnappers and talking to your teenager have in common?

Everything!

In this episode, we sit down with Scott Walker, one of the world’s most experienced kidnap-for-ransom and crisis negotiators, to explore what high-stakes hostage negotiation can teach us about everyday conversations. With over 300 successful cases under his belt, Scott now trains leaders at Apple, Amazon, the UN, and beyond.

Whether you're negotiating a deal, a deadline, or dinner, Scott’s wisdom will help you regulate better, listen smarter, and get more of what matters — without a fight.

We should have titled this episode "What can a hostage negotiator teach us about negotiating at work, while parenting, and during high-pressure conversations?" 😄

We talk with Scott about:

• Why “negotiation” isn’t just for boardrooms
• The 3 types of conversation (and how to spot them)
• Why most of us misunderstand the type of conversation we’re in
• The one mindset shift that makes you a better communicator overnight
• How to regulate your emotions mid-conflict (aka “Paws (pause). Toes. Choose.”)
• Why assumptions are expensive, and listening is cheap
• How to deal with difficult people without losing your cool

This episode is packed with tools, stories, and sticky metaphors that will change the way you communicate – from pirates to partners.

Running Order:

• 00:09 – Why most of us struggle with conversations
• 01:06 – Introductions - Scott Walker: hostage negotiator turned leadership coach
• 02:25 – Negotiation as purposeful conversation
• 03:51 – What pirates and teenagers have in common
• 05:06 – Assumptions: the expensive earplugs blocking real communication
• 06:45 – The three types of conversation: practical, emotional, and identity-driven
• 11:32 – When your identity feels under threat
• 12:25 – Regulating your emotions under pressure
• 13:53 – Scott’s first major mistake — and the colleague who saved him
• 15:58 – Managing emotional triggers: observe, don’t absorb
• 20:14 – Better conversations start with better self-awareness
• 21:55 – “Pause. Reflect. Choose.” — a technique for staying grounded
• 25:27 – The importance of practising calm before you need it
• 29:14 – Taking ownership of your emotions (and outcomes)
• 30:06 – How to deal with difficult people (egos, narcissists, manipulators)
• 32:22 – Trump vs Zelensky: a lesson in how not to have a conversation
• 35:30 – Warmth cues, head tilts, and how we signal we’re listening
• 37:02 – Scott’s “antennae” approach to reading the room
• 40:14 – Why better conversations start in your body (Paws. Toes. Antennae.)
• 42:10 – Trust as the cornerstone of any successful negotiation
• 43:49 – When the relationship matters more than the outcome
• 45:35 – The five levels of listening — and why most people never get past level two
• 48:50 – Why what and how questions are better than why
• 52:16 – The power of silence (and why we find it so uncomfortable)
• 53:08 – How to sound human, not robotic
• 55:22 – How to negotiate under pressure — in real time
• 57:03 – Scott’s parting advice: ditch the excuses, do the work

Links

> Scott’s books – Eye of The Storm (out 8 May 2025) and Order Out of Chaos can be purchased here: https://amzn.eu/d/5T0dasf

> Thrive under pressure course - May 20 thriveunderpressure.co.

> Sign up for Scott’s newsletter here: https://winanynegotiation.com/pages/contact

> Follow Scott on

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Turn Missteps into Meaningful Conversations with Dr. Victoria Stakelum

We all hate being wrong. It feels uncomfortable, sometimes even threatening. But what if being wrong wasn’t something to fear but an opportunity for connection, learning, and deeper conversations?

In this episode, Dr. Victoria Stakelum, a psychologist and NLP Master Coach, joins us again to unpack the complexity of wrongness - why it triggers such strong emotions, how societal norms shape our ideas of right and wrong, and what to do when we (inevitably) get something wrong.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why wrongness is often subjective and why that matters.
• The emotional weight of admitting you’re wrong (and how to handle it).
• How curiosity can turn disagreements into meaningful discussions.
• The best way to challenge someone else’s wrongness - without making them defensive.
• Why separating identity from opinion makes for better conversations.
• Practical strategies for handling workplace disagreements, difficult conversations, and public missteps.

Whether you’re navigating a tough conversation at work, dealing with differing worldviews, or just trying to be less reactive when someone calls you out, this episode will help you reframe wrongness and use it as a tool for better communication.

Find Dr Victoria Stakelum at thesuccesssmith.com or on LinkedIn.

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How to Read the Room and Communicate Better at Work with Dr. Victoria Stakelum

Ever wish you could read minds in meetings or knew what someone else was thinking? While telepathy might be out of reach, understanding emotions, body language, and unspoken cues is a skill you can develop - and it can completely transform your workplace interactions.

In this episode, Dr. Victoria Stakelum, a psychologist and subconscious mind specialist, reveals the science of mind reading - or rather, how to truly read the room, anticipate responses, and adapt your communication for better results.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why mind reading starts with understanding yourself.
• How to spot the subtle nonverbal cues that reveal what people are really thinking.
• The hidden emotional undercurrents in workplace conversations (and how to navigate them).
• Why people rarely say what they mean - and how to uncover their true concerns.
• How self-awareness helps you filter out biases and avoid misreading situations.
• Practical techniques for improving emotional intelligence and workplace communication.
• The work of Marshall Rosenberg - a clinical psychologist who pioneered this approach to promoting empathic dialogue and understanding among all parties. His book is called Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life.

Whether you’re negotiating with your boss, leading a team, or just trying to work out what’s really going on in a meeting, this episode will give you lightbulb moments that will change the way you interact at work.

Find Dr Victoria Stakelum at thesuccesssmith.com or on LinkedIn.

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How Listening Can Transform Your Conversations with Jessica Ball

We like to think we’re good listeners—but are we really? Too often, we drift in and out of conversations, half-hearing what’s being said while planning what to say next. So how do we shift from passive hearing to deep, intentional listening - the kind that transforms relationships, builds trust, and even changes lives?

In this episode, we’re joined again by Jessica Ball, a meetings facilitator who knows that listening is more than just hearing words—it’s about creating connection.

Together we explore:

• Why most of us default to “social listening” (and how it’s holding us back).
• The three levels of listening - to yourself, to others, and to a group.
• How our biases, emotions, and assumptions shape what we hear.
• Why no one is truly boring if you know how to unlock their story.
• How listening can be the antidote to polarisation, judgement, and disconnection.
• Simple techniques to sharpen your listening skills - for richer, more meaningful conversations.

If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation feeling unheard - or realised too late that you weren’t really listening - this episode is for you.

Find Jessica Ball at www.creatingmeaning.club or on LinkedIn.

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How to Speak Up and Be Heard in Any Group with Dr. Victoria Stakelum

Ever felt silenced in a meeting, outnumbered in a discussion, or too intimidated to challenge the status quo? You’re not alone. Groupthink is a deeply ingrained survival instinct - we’re wired to stick with the herd, even when we disagree. But what if staying silent means the wrong decision gets made?

In this episode, Dr. Victoria Stakelum, a psychologist and NLP Master Coach, helps us understand why speaking up feels so hard—and how to do it anyway.

In this episode, we break down:

• Why groupthink happens - and how it can lead to bad decisions.
• How to recognise when you’re in a groupthink moment.
• The subtle psychological tricks to make your voice heard.
• How to frame your opinion so others actually listen (without triggering resistance).
• Why having just one ally in the room can change everything.
• Practical strategies for bringing confidence, presence, and authority to group discussions.

Whether it’s a team meeting, a social gathering, or a high-stakes decision, knowing how to challenge the group without alienating yourself is a game-changer.

This episode is for you if you want to learn how to hold your ground, influence the conversation and make sure your voice is heard.

Find Dr Victoria Stakelum at thesuccesssmith.com or on LinkedIn.