🧠 Erik’s Take

This reaction is more than a recap—it’s a confession. Erik shares his very real fear of solitude, of discovering he’s off course, and of what clarity might demand of him if he dares to seek it. It’s a vulnerable, reflective breakdown of the Kyle & Eli episode, and a deeper dive into why structured solitude might be the leadership development most of us are avoiding. The hardest part isn’t asking the questions, it’s what the answers will require of us.

🎯 Top Insights from the Interview

• Clarity Requires Commitment: Erik names what most people won’t: certainty obligates us. When you know what’s right, you can’t unknow it. And that’s terrifying.
• Solitude is the Shortcut to Alignment: ResetOS reframes solitude from scary to strategic. It’s all about intentional reflection.
• Conviction Is a Better Compass Than Momentum: When you’re already in motion, it’s hard to pause. But pausing might save you from racing in the wrong direction.
• We Overvalue Comfort and Undervalue Realignment: It’s easier to stay “kind of right” than to be forced into action by clarity.

🧩 The Personal Layer

Erik doesn't hide here. He talks openly about why he's afraid to do a solo retreat—not because he can’t face himself, but because he might realize he has to make changes he’s not ready to make. He also opens up about his admiration for Kyle & Eli’s partnership: the depth of mutual respect, the shared vision, the decision to build with each other, not just next to each other. And in his signature self-coaching tone, he invites listeners to examine the questions they might be running from—not because they're silly or unoriginal, but because they're real.

🧰 From Insight to Action

Here’s how Erik is thinking about applying the episode’s lessons:

• Schedule the Solo Time: Don’t wait for space—create it.
• Name the Fear: Articulate what you’re actually afraid of—action, not awareness, is often the culprit.
• Consider the Cost of Not Knowing: Wouldn’t you rather discover you’re on the wrong road early, before you’ve gone too far?
• Use What Ifs Strategically: Ask: “What if I had clarity?” instead of just “What if I’m wrong?”
• Don’t Disqualify Your Questions: Even the “unoriginal” ones matter deeply when they’re your questions.

🗣️ Notable Quotes

🔗 Links & Resources

• 🌐 ResetOS.co – Take the Clarity Assessment, join the Reset newsletter, or explore solo retreat options
• 👤 Kyle Nelson on LinkedIn
• 👤 Eli Libby on LinkedIn

🎙️ Episode Snapshot

Erik sits down with long-time friends and co-founders Kyle Nelson and Eli Libby, the creators of ResetOS, a clarity operating system designed to help high performers realign their internal compass before life forces them to. This episode dives deep into the transformational power of structured solitude, explores how pain can become purpose, and reveals how friendship and reflection can build more than just businesses—they can build lives.

👤 About the Guests

Kyle Nelson and Eli Libby are the co-founders of ResetOS, a personal clarity system built from their own stories of burnout, tragedy, and healing. Over 12 years of friendship and five businesses, they’ve seen success, suffered major losses, and built a unique process to help others find alignment through solo retreats. Their mission is to help people reconnect with who they are—and why they do what they do—before it’s too late.

🧭 Conversation Highlights

• From Collapse to Clarity: Kyle’s story of losing everything, from home to identity, and Eli’s rapid series of losses reveal the crucible that forged ResetOS.
• The Fear of Solitude: Why most people resist the very stillness that could change their life and how Kyle & Eli help them face it.
• Loneliness vs. Solitude: The program teaches how structured solitude can actually be the cure for chronic loneliness.
• Co-Founder Chemistry: How 12 years of friendship, deep assessments, and mutual respect shape their work and keep ego in check.

💡 Key Takeaways

• Fear Is the Gatekeeper to Growth: Most people resist solitude not because they fear being alone, but because of what they'll discover (and have to do with it).
• Your Answers Are Already Inside: The right structure and questions can help uncover what no coach or course can offer: internal clarity.
• Mature Misalignment Looks Like Success: Even people with the house, the job, the kids, and the money still wonder, “Why am I not fulfilled?”
• Partnership Requires Practice: The relationship between Kyle & Eli is a testament to what’s possible when founders prioritize mutual vision, honest questions, and emotional intelligence.

❓ Questions That Mattered

• “What happens if you don’t disconnect?”
• “Is this really the road I want to be on?”
• “What does fulfillment mean to you, not just to your industry?”
• “Can I be successful without being aligned?”
• “How do I lead my life without knowing what I believe?”

🗣️ Notable Quotes

🔗 Links & Resources

• 🌐 ResetOS.co – Take the Clarity Assessment, join the Reset newsletter, or explore solo retreat options
• 👤 Kyle Nelson on LinkedIn
• 👤 Eli Libby on LinkedIn

🎙️ Episode Snapshot

In this solo episode, Erik takes a sledgehammer to one of the most overused and misunderstood leadership questions: “How do I motivate my people?” He breaks down why motivation isn’t your job, and how alignment is the real lever leaders should be pulling. From hiring to training, development to retention, Erik reframes every step of the employee journey through the lens of alignment and shares the practical conversations that make it possible.

❓ The Big Question

What if the problem isn’t that your people lack motivation, but that your leadership lacks alignment?

💡 Key Takeaways

• You can’t motivate people. Motivation is internal. You can inspire, but inspiration fades fast.
• Alignment is the lever. Match what your people naturally want with what the business needs.
• Three alignment questions revolutionize interviews:
  1. What skills do you want to grow?
  2. What experiences do you want to live through?
  3. What responsibilities do you want to bear?
• Training fails when it lacks connection. Tie learning and feedback to what matters to the individual.
• Retention thrives on trust. The best way to keep your team is to understand their evolving motivations and speak directly to them.

🧠 Concepts, Curves, and Frameworks

• The Alignment Loop:
  1. Hire for it
  2. Train into it
  3. Develop through it
  4. Retain because of it
• Rules of Engagement: Questions to ask your team to understand how they operate, what drives them, and how to give feedback that actually lands.
• Misalignment ≠ failure: Acknowledging misalignment with honesty builds more trust than false positivity ever will.

🔁 Real-Life Reflections

• Erik shares the frustration he felt in early interviews hearing everyone say they wanted to be a manager until he changed the question set.
• He walks through powerful real examples of using alignment to shape feedback: reframing “you’re late” as a barrier to earning peer trust.
• Reflects on a personal turning point—realizing that trying to "motivate" people was exhausting and ineffective. Alignment made the job feel energizing again.

🧰 Put This Into Practice

• Update your interview flow: Start asking about skills, experiences, and responsibilities.
• Build alignment profiles: Know what each team member is actually trying to get out of work.
• Lead with why it matters to them when giving feedback, not just why it matters to you or the company.
• Have alignment check-ins: Especially for team members in year 2–5, when coasting and quiet quitting often sneak in.
• Be honest about misalignment: It’s okay to say “this task doesn’t align with your goals—but we still need to crush it.”

🗣️ Favorite Quotes