This episode explores the crucial role of contact supervisors in observing and assessing parent-child interactions during supervised contact sessions. Michael talks about the importance of social workers, independent social workers, and children's guardians personally observing these sessions to form their own conclusions and assessments. It highlights the significance of parents demonstrating their ability to prioritize their child's needs, engage positively during contact, and adhere to professional guidance and boundaries.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Observing contact sessions is crucial for professionals working with children and families to gain a better understanding of the case and form their own conclusions.

• Contact observations provide only a snapshot of the parent's overall ability to care for their child, and it is essential to consider all evidence gathered from the case.

• Parents should prioritise their child's needs during contact sessions, demonstrate the ability to learn from advice offered by professionals, and show consistent good enough care.

• Parents need to be aware of the impact of their words and actions on their child, follow guidance and boundaries set during contact, and communicate concerns through appropriate channels.

• The ultimate goal for parents during contact sessions is to ensure their child has a great time, showcasing their ability to meet their child's physical and emotional needs consistently.

BEST MOMENTS

"It is really important that you observe at least one contact prior to finalising your assessment, otherwise you place yourself in a vulnerable position when it comes to giving evidence and being cross-examined."

"Most contact sessions are 90 or 120 minutes in duration, which explains the limitations involved in placing too much weight on contact observations."

"Parents need to prove that they can understand and comply with such guidance and boundaries in the interests of their children and their court case."

"Parents need also to be advised that they need to be aware of the impact their words and actions have on their child."

"The real task for most parents, though, is to show they can meet their child's various needs on a consistent basis throughout the period in which they are being assessed."

VALUABLE RESOURCES

familycourtcoaching@gmail.com

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.

This episode delves into the complex and often misunderstood topic of self-injury. It explores how self-harm serves as a coping mechanism for individuals dealing with overwhelming emotions and distressing thoughts. The episode discusses the various functions self-harm can serve, such as expressing difficult emotions, seeking control, or managing traumatic experiences. It also highlights the signs to look out for in children and young people who may be engaging in self-harm, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and addressing these behaviours. Additionally, the episode sheds light on the underlying reasons why individuals self-harm, ranging from emotional pain and loneliness to mental health conditions and traumatic experiences.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Self-harm is a coping mechanism for dealing with distressing thoughts and feelings, serving various functions such as expressing emotions, gaining control, or escaping traumatic memories.

• Children may engage in self-harm through various methods like cutting, burning, poisoning, or over-exercising, often as a response to emotional distress or mental health challenges.

• Signs of self-harm in children include wearing long sleeves, having sharp objects, emotional instability, and frequent accidental injuries.

• Self-harm is associated with mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and trauma, highlighting the importance of professional support.

• While self-harm is more common among women, seeking help from professionals can significantly reduce the risk of suicidal thoughts and actions.

BEST MOMENTS

"Self-harm or self-injury can be described as representing a person's coping mechanism for dealing with highly upsetting and distressing thoughts and feelings."

"When a child or person injures themselves, chemicals such as endorphins and other natural painkillers are released by the brain, providing a temporal respite for the painful experiences."

"Self-harm and self-injury often go unnoticed because people who self-harm don't tend to want to draw attention to their behaviour."

"It seems there may be a number of reasons why people self-harm. What is clear is that children who do so frequently are experiencing overpowering emotional pain or distress."

"In terms of the gender most at risk of self-harm, it is said to be more common amongst women than men."

VALUABLE RESOURCES

familycourtcoaching@gmail.com

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.

Michael discusses the sensitive nature of parenting assessments and the necessity of asking personal and intrusive questions. He reflects on the reactions of parents when faced with such questions, highlighting the importance of understanding one's upbringing, beliefs, and experiences in relation to parenting. Overall, the episode underscores the critical role of thorough assessments in determining suitable parenting options for children in need.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Asking personal questions during parenting assessments is necessary to understand a person's beliefs, values, and experiences.

• Family life is personal, and the court needs personal information to make decisions about a child's care.

• Some individuals may resist answering personal questions during assessments, indicating potential challenges in their ability to undergo a full parenting assessment.

• Lack of insight and unwillingness to share personal information can lead to negative outcomes in parenting assessments.

• Emotional readiness and willingness to discuss past experiences are crucial factors in determining suitability for parenting assessments.

BEST MOMENTS

"Many of the questions you have to ask when undertaking a parenting assessment are, in my view, personal and intrusive."

"People take for granted that they will love and take care of their child, but fail to see that the court does not know them at all."

"Isn't that a bit personal? But if the court are going to make decisions about where the child should be placed, don't you think they need to know all the relevant information?"

"I really think you're asking too much. It's too personal."

"His lack of insight and unwillingness to share further information provided me with the clarity I needed to reach the conclusion that the outcome of the assessment was negative."

VALUABLE RESOURCES

familycourtcoaching@gmail.com

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.

This episode provides valuable insights on how to effectively give evidence in a court setting. Michael emphasises the importance of thorough preparation, mental and emotional readiness, and maintaining control over one's nerves and emotions while in the witness box. Overall, the episode serves as a comprehensive guide on how to navigate the challenges of giving evidence in a court setting successfully.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Thorough Preparation: Before giving evidence, it is crucial to prepare diligently both mentally and emotionally to handle the stress and pressure of the witness box.

• Maintain Control: Stay in control of your nerves and emotions, and have complete faith in your ability to present your evidence effectively.

• Listen Carefully: Avoid rushing to answer questions and make sure to listen fully to each question posed to provide satisfactory answers.

• Stay Focused: Concentrate fully on each question, think about your response, and avoid giving unnecessary information that may compromise your position.

• Professionalism: Maintain a balanced and professional demeanor, avoid getting angry or distressed, and address your answers clearly to the judge to ensure your evidence is valued highly.

BEST MOMENTS

"You cannot afford to have a poor attitude and frame of mind when giving evidence. When you enter into the witness box You should be in control of your nerves and emotions, as opposed to them being in control of you."

"Your state of mind should be such that you expect no help from anyone. You recognize you are totally alone, and have complete faith and confidence in your ability to present your evidence very well."

"Giving evidence should never involve you talking for talking's sake. When you open your mouth too freely you are likely to give away unnecessary information that may place you in difficult situations that you may live to regret later."

"The hugest mistake you can make when in the witness box is to lose control of your emotions by getting angry, agitated or distressed. When angry or agitated, you lose focus and concentration, rendering you unable to access that part of your brain that enables you to be able to think and respond appropriately and creatively."

"On a final note, it is a mistake to fail to speak up and address your answers to the judge. She or he needs to hear what you are saying at all times. So angle your head towards the judge when responding to questions and ensure you speak loud enough and in a clear manner so that the judge can hear and clearly understand you."

VALUABLE RESOURCES

familycourtcoaching@gmail.com

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.

Join Michael as he explores the disturbing reality of parents or step-parents killing their own children, shedding light on the term "filicide" and its various forms such as neonaticide and infanticide. Through research findings and expert insights, the episode explores the motives behind filicide, ranging from altruistic reasons to revenge and emphasises the importance of understanding the underlying factors to prevent future tragedies. Overall, the episode serves as a thought-provoking exploration of a tragic and sensitive topic, urging for greater awareness and prevention efforts to protect children from harm.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• On average, 58 children in the UK are killed by family members, parents, or step-parents each year, highlighting the alarming frequency of child deaths at the hands of those expected to care for them.

• Filicide, the killing of one's child, is a disturbing reality that prompts questions about the motives and circumstances that lead to such heinous acts.

• Mental illness plays a significant role in cases of filicide, with a study showing that 37% of perpetrators were suffering from a form of mental illness, emphasising the need for further research and understanding in this area.

• Different motives for filicide include altruistic reasons, fatal abuse or ill-treatment, unwanted children, psychotic states, and revenge, shedding light on the complex psychological factors at play.

• Factors such as mental health issues, relationship breakdowns, domestic violence, substance misuse, and child abuse often coincide in cases of filicide, underscoring the importance of identifying and addressing these risk factors to prevent future tragedies.

BEST MOMENTS

"I was stunned by that statistic because even as a social worker who has worked with children over many years, the frequency or rate of children being killed was conspicuous."

"Filicide refers to the killing of one's son or daughter. As a result of doing this research, I was introduced to more words that I had hitherto not known about."

"In a study involving 297 cases of convicted philicides and 45 cases of philicide suicides in England and Wales between January 1997 and December 2006, it was revealed that there was an over-representation of mental illness in cases of philicide."

"Philip J. Resnick, a well-known forensic psychiatrist, found that neonaticidal mothers are often unmarried women with unwanted pregnancies who receive no prenatal care."

"Gaining as clear a picture as possible about the circumstances, reasons and factors that lead parents to perpetrate filicide are of critical significance if we are to prevent and lessen future unnecessary child deaths."

VALUABLE RESOURCES

familycourtcoaching@gmail.com

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.

This episode explores the unexpected connection between social work and the act of selling. Michael talks about why social workers are constantly selling their beliefs and values to parents in order to advocate for the best interests of children. Drawing parallels between personal interactions and court appearances, Michael emphasises the importance of presenting oneself positively, both in attitude and appearance, to effectively influence others. Ultimately, the episode concludes by highlighting the crucial aspect of believing in oneself before attempting to sell one's beliefs to others.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Recognise the importance of selling oneself in various aspects of life, including social work and giving evidence in court.

• Present oneself in a physically presentable manner, such as dressing appropriately, to make a good impression and show respect.

• Have a positive attitude and demeanour, as it can significantly impact how one is perceived before even speaking.

• Be well-prepared and knowledgeable about the evidence being presented, displaying confidence and persuasiveness.

• Emphasise the significance of believing in oneself and one's abilities as a crucial aspect of effectively selling oneself to others.

BEST MOMENTS

"From being someone who was quite adverse to the idea of selling, to one in which I now accept my involvement in it and in fact recognise how important selling is to the success of my role as a social worker."

"You're actually engaged in selling yourself all the time, it's just that you don't see yourself as doing so."

"Poor attitudes are like neon lights or neon signs glowing in the dark, announcing your poor disposition, thoughts and feelings."

"Attending court wearing trainers, a hoodie and a pair of jeans exposing part of your underwear does not tend to portray you in the best possible light."

"In giving great evidence at court or selling yourself well, how or the way you say it is as important, if not more so, than what you say."

VALUABLE RESOURCES

familycourtcoaching@gmail.com

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.

Join Michael in this episode as he delves into the experiences of two individuals, who faced racism and isolation in predominantly white environments. The episode highlights how their struggles with racism, lack of support, and the pressure to fit in led to feelings of anger, aggression, and a constant state of vigilance. The episode challenges the societal ignorance towards racism and the need for empathy and recognition of its pervasive nature.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Impact of Racism: The episode highlights the significant impact of racism on individuals, particularly young black individuals, leading to feelings of isolation, aggression, and a constant need to defend oneself.

• Lack of Support: Both individuals discussed in the episode felt alone in their experiences of racism, lacking support from their adoptive parents and others to discuss their struggles.

• Mental Health Implications: The experiences of racism and isolation without support can negatively impact mental health, contributing to the higher rates of mental health issues among black individuals.

• Expectation of Racism: The repeated experiences of racism lead individuals to expect and prepare for it, creating a constant state of anxiety and vigilance that undermines their well-being.

• Persistent Wounds: Racism leaves lasting wounds that are often not addressed or resolved, leading to ongoing anger and emotional burden that individuals carry with them for years.

BEST MOMENTS

"They didn't like me because I didn't fit in. And do you know what? I didn't want to. They were picking on me because of my difference."

"I was fighting every day in school, and to be fair, I held my mum and stepdad responsible for this because I did not want to move."

"But when you fight back, you get a reputation and you don't have to do anything anyway to get hassled by the police."

"Racism is insidious. It permeates this society and many others. It survives because the whole society don't really recognise it or their part in continuing it."

VALUABLE RESOURCES

familycourtcoaching@gmail.com

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.

This episode delves into the importance and intricacies of creating a chronological list of events in a child's life. Michael emphasises the significance of a well-constructed chronology in providing a clear understanding of a family's history and dynamics. The episode discusses the role of a social worker in highlighting both the strengths and weaknesses of parenting, using the chronology as a tool to support evidence and arguments. It also explores how different perspectives and biases can influence the interpretation of events documented in a chronology. The episode underscores the impact of past experiences on an individual's present behaviour and identity, emphasising the need to consider significant events such as trauma, loss, and violence in family life.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Chronologies are crucial: Chronologies are essential documents that provide a clear picture of a family's history and can help in understanding the events that have occurred over time.

• Balanced view is important: It is important to provide a balanced view in a chronology, highlighting both the weaknesses and strengths of parenting to give a fair representation of the situation.

• Impact of past events: Chronologies help in understanding how past events and experiences shape an individual's present and future, emphasising the significance of events like births, deaths, and illnesses.

• Significance of violent incidents: Violent incidents between adults, especially when witnessed by children, should be carefully documented in a chronology to understand their impact and the response of parents.

• Importance of social care response: A good chronology not only focuses on the actions of parents but also highlights the behaviour of social care agencies and their impact on the child's lived experience.

BEST MOMENTS

"A chronology can be defined as a sequential list of events with dates recording any significant facts and changes in a child's life."

"History, for example, is written from the focus of the values and beliefs of the person who wrote it."

"Chronologies are really useful tools in helping to look at a child's lived experience because they can show what a child has been exposed to dating as far back into their life as their first few weeks of life."

"Many people still today tend to think of the past as not having any impact on who they are now."

"One of the things that chronology is very useful at bringing to light is the response by social care."

VALUABLE RESOURCES

familycourtcoaching@gmail.com

Instagram: michael240656

HOST BIO

Michael Watson is a qualified social worker and author with over thirty years of experience working with children and families. As an expert in family court, Michael is in a key position to assist, advise, and coach parents through their private law family proceedings and provide them with the information and skills to represent themselves successfully in court. His two books, ‘How to Represent Yourself in Family Court’, and ‘FAMILY COURT: Giving Evidence In Family Court’, provide parents with a clearer understanding of family court proceedings, legislation, and parenting skills.