How can we demystify the issue of sex?

Sex and Pornography addiction is a widespread and growing concern in modern society. Many individuals engage in sexual behavior and consumption of adult material on a regular basis, but these behaviors can sometimes become problematic and have negative consequences on their lives and relationships.

How to tell if you have a sex addiction?

One of the methods by which you can determine whether you have sex addiction is to refrain from it for a period of time, such as giving yourself a 30-day deadline where you will not use pornography or engage in sexual activity.

Why is it difficult to ask for what you want?

Sometimes it's easy to revert to patterns of complacency and passivity, simply allowing events to unfold until they escalate. It is important to bolster this relationship that you're creating together. Adhere to your truth regarding what is effective for me and what is not.

How do sexual behaviors become a problem in a relationship?

In the beginning, there is great sex and getting to know each other. Over time, a longer-term pattern emerges, and emotional intimacy becomes more prominent. For many, this is a challenging frontier. Sex addiction can be a way of trying to manage the difficulty of sharing oneself and making room in a relationship for the other person to be who they are. When a person struggles with intimacy in a committed relationship, sex and pornography addiction can become a problem.

Learning about yourself and your partner:

For many people, this is the most intimate they have ever been with anyone since childhood. As they go through this process, they learn more about themselves. Sometimes, there are natural learning curves to navigate, while other times, potentially problematic behaviors can emerge and cause serious issues.

Shame is the currency of the desperate:

Shame is an emotion that affects our relationships and causes us to hide. Many people struggle with shame when it comes to sex. Our goal is to assist couples in identifying behaviors that both work for them and are problematic for the relationship. Behaviors and desires that are kept hidden often lead to increased problems.

The cure for addiction is connection:

Gabor Mate stated that the cure for addiction is connection. This idea is well established and widely accepted by many people. In some societies, there tends to be a pattern where individuals feel isolated and alone in their struggles. Therefore, it is necessary to work through personal issues with the help of others, as human connection can be an effective means of overcoming addiction. This certainly includes your partner and therapists and recovery programs can be helpful.

The need for connection and comfort:

When we address the drivers of our behavior, we are exposed to deeply human and authentic experiences that foster mental connection between partners. When partners recognize and respond with compassion to these experiences; fears and anxieties are reduced.

This podcast is an introduction to a 6 part course to help couples understand the nature of sex and pornography addiction. If you find the podcast valuable and you want to learn more about how to address unwanted sexual behavior and addiction in your relationship, please go to https://www.relationshipchampions.com/courses/sex_porn

In the course couples will learn:

1. Understanding the difference between addiction and unwanted behavior

2. How the relationship helps the couple to overcome the addiction or unwanted behavior

3. How to manage intense feeling associated with withdrawal and betrayal

Special Guest: David Elliott - Addiction Expert

Guest: Steven Dromgool - Relationship Expert

Host: Dan Gummo