Ep. 97 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: The platinum rule | Friendship advice for kids

Zoya wants to know how to understand her friends' feelings.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Do you think it’s easier to notice when your friends are having positive feelings or negative feelings? Why?

- What are some reasons why it’s important to try to understand other people’s feelings?

- Why is it sometimes hard to tell how a friend is feeling? What are some clues that could help you figure this out?

- Why is the Platinum Rule even kinder than the Golden Rule?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 3 - Kid tries to wreck game (Noelle, Age 10)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-episode-4b8

Ep. 86 - How to know if you can trust a friend (Sally, Age 14)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep86-sally-age-14-how-to-know-if-you-can-trust-a-friend

Ep. 92 - What to say when a friend is feeling down (Mason. Age 13)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep92-mason-age-13-what-to-say-when-a-friend-feels-down

Ep. 96 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Moving past a Yes-No argument

Grace's friend sometimes bosses her around! What can she do?

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Why do you think kids sometimes act in bossy ways?

- Why is it okay if a parent or teacher tells you what to do but annoying if another kid tells you what to do?

- What is a Yes-No Argument? Why is it not useful?

- What are some ways to present your ideas without coming across as bossy?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 18 - Building great leadership skills (Kai, Age 9)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-18-kai

Ep. 83 - Fights with close friends (Eloise, Age 8)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/eloise-age-8-fights-with-close-friends

Ep. 71 - Is she a friend or not? (Tali, Age 11)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep71-tali-age-11-is-she-a-friend-or-not

Ep. 95 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: 3 types of embarrassment

Sara wishes she could never feel embarrassed!

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Think of a time when you felt embarrassed. What happened? How did you handle it?

- What does it mean to “own your mistakes”? What is one way to do this?

- Why is it sometimes uncomfortable for kids to be the center of attention? (Hint: What might they be afraid will happen?)

- Why is it important not to argue or make excuses if someone gives you a compliment? What should you do instead?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 22 - Managing your social reputation (Scarlet, Age 13)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-22-scarlett

Ep. 52 - Friend's parents don't like him (Tyler, Age 12)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/tyler-age-12-friends-parents-dont

Ep. 49 - Feeling different and rejected (Charlotte, Age 8)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/charlotte-age-8-feeling-different

Ep. 94 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Two questions to ask yourself before discussing a problem with a friend.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Think of a time when you felt mad at a friend. How did you handle it? How did your friend respond?

- What are some reasons why it’s not a good idea to yell at a friend, even if you’re mad?

- Why is not speaking at all a bad way to solve friendship problems?

- How can talking to other kids about a problem with a friend make a problem bigger? How is that different than asking an adult for advice?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 78 - How to confront a friend

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep78-how-to-confront-a-friend

Ep. 24 - Fake friends versus real friends (Olivia, age 13)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-24-olivia

Ep. 57 - Avoiding conflict (Zen, age 6)

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep57-zen-age-6-avoiding-conflict

Ep. 94 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: What we can control and what we can’t

Alice wonders what to do when her good friend doesn't invite her to a party.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever felt left out? What happened? How did you handle it?

- Why is it hard to try to imagine someone else’s point of view when we’re mad at them? Why is it important to do that anyway?

- Dr. Friendtastic mentioned some reasons why Alice’s friend might not have invited her, such as a small guest list or a recent argument. What are some other possible reasons the friend might not have invited her?

- If you were in Alice’s situation, and a good friend didn’t invite you to a party, would that be a friendship ender for you or do you think you would try to work things out?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 52 - Tyler, Age 12: Friend's parents don't like him

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/tyler-age-12-friends-parents-dont

Ep. 24 - Olivia, Age 13: Some friendships have limits

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-24-olivia

Ep. 90 - Alma, Age 7: Friend breaks a promise

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep90-alma-age-7-friend-breaks-a-promise

Ep. 92 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Supportive vs. unsupportive responses to a sad friend

Mason wants to know what to say to a friend who is feeling down that won't make the friend feel worse!

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Think of a time when you were feeling down and someone tried to comfort you. What did they do? How did it make you feel?

- Why is saying, “I had something even worse happen to me!” not usually a caring thing to say?

- Dr. Friendtastic says, “Any advice that begins with the words, “You should just…” is probably wrong.” Do you agree? Why or why not?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 90 - Alma, Age 7: Friend breaks a promise

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep90-alma-age-7-friend-breaks-a-promise

Ep. 86 - Sally, Age 14: How to know if you can trust a friend

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep86-sally-age-14-how-to-know-if-you-can-trust-a-friend

Ep. 73 - J.J., Age 11: Best friend stops playing with him

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep73-jj-age-11-best-friend-stops-playing-with-him

Ep. 91 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: This important assumption helps you move past a friendship rough spot

Kenna and Scarlett, who want to know what to do when they start arguing.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Think of an argument that you had with a friend recently. How did you resolve it? Was the solution fair to both of you? Why or why not?

- Why do you think friends sometimes argue more than nonfriends?

- Dr. Friendtastic said, “The louder you yell, the harder it is for people to hear you.” What does that mean? (Hint: How do other people feel if you yell at them?)

- How could telling your friend (honestly) “That makes sense” or “I can see why that matters to you” help the two of you resolve an argument? (Hint: what do you need to do before you can say statements like that?)

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 90 - Alma, Age 7: Friend breaks a promise

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep90-alma-age-7-friend-breaks-a-promise

Ep. 86 - Sally, Age 14: How to know if you can trust a friend

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep86-sally-age-14-how-to-know-if-you-can-trust-a-friend

Ep. 73 - J.J., Age 11: Best friend stops playing with him

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep73-jj-age-11-best-friend-stops-playing-with-him

Ep. 90 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Why friends sometimes let us down

Alma wants to know what to do about a friend who broke her promise

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus articles for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- What are the three steps of the angry person formula?

- Why is it a good idea to show someone who is angry with you that you understand (at least part of) their concern? (Hint: How are they likely to respond?)

- What do you think is likely to happen if you argue with someone who is angry with you and tell them all the things they do wrong?

- The last part of the angry person formula is about putting your words into action. Why is that important? (Hint: What does it show the angry person?)

- Think of a time when you were angry with someone. How did they respond? How do you wish they had responded?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 5 - Edith, Age 8: Friend doesn't do what I want

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-episode-af3

Ep. 10 - Isaac, Age 7.5: Friend is disrespectful

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-10-isaac

Ep. 83 - Eloise, Age 8: Fights with close friends

https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/eloise-age-8-fights-with-close-friends