Show Notes: Interview with Khara Croswaite Brindle

Introduction

• Guest: Khara Croswaite Brindle
• Licensed Mental Health Therapist in Denver, Colorado
• Roles: Financial Therapist, TEDx Speaker, Burnout Consultant, Author, Professor
• New Book: Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle

Pathway to Becoming a Mental Health Therapist

• Khara shares her journey
• Personal experiences with therapists and being a confidant for others
• Emphasizes the importance of having someone to bounce ideas off and heal

Personal Experience with Mother-Daughter Relationship

• Teenage years were challenging, bordering on a rupture
• Improved relationship in adulthood
• Insights from personal experience informing her book

Assumptions About Estrangement

• Common misconceptions: impulsive, spiteful, petty
• Painful assumption: therapists encourage estrangement
• Therapists focus on boundaries, trauma, abuse, and neglect
• Importance of bridging gaps and understanding relationships

Teenagers and Parental Boundaries

• Teenagers often influenced more by peers than parents
• Developmental stage of independence and defiance
• Importance of parents meeting their children where they are

Helping Parents with Acting Out Teenagers

• Initial step: Listening to parents and validating their concerns
• Family therapy: Facilitating communication between parents and teenagers
• Recognizing patterns in behavior and underlying causes

The Estrangement Energy Cycle

• Eight stages:

1. Cycle of Abuse
2. Questioning
3. Relationship Rupture
4. Estrangement (Physical and Emotional)
5. Grief and Loss
6. Discovering Sense of Self
7. Deeper Work (Attachment, Parenting, Breaking Generational Trauma)
8. Redefining Self-Worth

Challenges in Mother-Daughter Relationships

• Difficulty for mothers to acknowledge mistakes without feeling like bad parents
• Emotional reactions from mothers can hinder reconciliation
• Importance of acknowledgment, apology, and action from mothers

Individual Healing

• Many women end up doing solo work if reconciliation isn't possible
• Therapy focuses on self-healing and moving forward

Advice from Khara's Book

• Book aimed at adult daughters and their supporters (therapists, mentors, coaches)
• Normalizing experiences and providing relatable stories
• Practical advice and stages of the estrangement cycle

Golden Pearls of Wisdom

• Communication and understanding are key
• Each person's journey is unique, and reconciliation timelines vary
• The importance of neutrality and compassion from loved ones
• Do's and don'ts for supporting someone experiencing estrangement

Conclusion

• Estrangement and healing are complex, requiring time and effort
• Khara emphasizes the need for personal work and mutual action in relationships
• Her book provides a roadmap for understanding and navigating