Ellen Holloway is my guest in this first episode of this Letters to Wives season! She is a Catholic Sexuality and Intimacy Coach and she's helping us learn how to have a great sex life without needing to go to confession.

The Catholic Church is actually incredibly PRO sex and intimacy … but where can you go to learn about the topics you just don’t want to Google?

We’re talking about what to do when sex isn’t pleasurable for you as a wife and what to do if sex is painful. We’re also covering feeling totally touched out by the end of the day and just wanting to skip sex and go straight to sleep. Plus, we’re talking about how to find answers if you rarely (or never!) orgasm and what it’s like for Ellen to be a Catholic in the world of sexology.

If you’ve a Catholic wife looking to improve your sex life, but not interested in the kinds of advice you find online, sister, this letter is for you!

Topics we cover:

• Ellen’s story as a Catholic woman

• The origin story of Ellen’s podcast, Charting Towards Intimacy, and how she became a Catholic sexuality and intimacy coach

• Why it’s important to reflect on who taught you about sex and how to bring Jesus into that space

• Why sex should never hurt or be painful and how to find healing for both your body and your soul

• Ellen’s lube recommendations (and why you should leave the coconut oil in the kitchen)

• What to do if you rarely (or never!) orgasm

• Practical tips to start talking with your spouse more about your sex life

• The 10 minute unwind and how it can make a difference if you’re feeling too touched out for sex

• What it’s like for Ellen to be in the field of sexology as a Catholic

• How Ellen lives out the feminine genius in her everyday life as a Catholic wife

Resources for you:

• Listen to the Charting Toward Intimacy podcast

• Follow Ellen on Instagram

• Check out Vines in Full Bloom

• Holy Sex by Dr. Gregory Popcack

• The Orgasm Course for Catholic Women

• Catholic Sex Positions Guide

  ⁠Subscribe to Naptime Notes and get early, ad free access to all the Letters to Women episodes for just $5 a month⁠

• Discussion questions:

  1. Who taught you about sex when you were in second grade? Do you think this education was appropriate? How did what you learn back then impact what you think about sex now as a wife?
     

  2. When you think about your sex life, do you get overwhelmed? What might be the root of your overwhelm—pain during sex? Lack of pleasure? What is one practical thing you can do after this podcast episode to find healing in your sex life with your spouse?
     

  3. How often do you talk about sex with your husband? Would having a daily, five minute conversation with your spouse about sex be something you could make a part of your day?
     

  4. What would you 10 minute unwind look like in an ideal world? Would it include Scripture, reading, journaling, sitting in the silence? Make a plan for what you’ll do the next time you sit down to unwind at the end of the day.
     

  5. Sex is a form of communication. What are some things that you love about your spouse that you want to communicate to them both in and out of the bedroom?

Letters to Women is back with a brand new season: Letters to Wives. This season is inspired by the following line from Saint Pope John Paul II’s ‘Letter to Women’:

Thank you, women who are wives! You irrevocably join your future to that of your husbands, in a relationship of mutual giving, at the service of love and life.

This upcoming season is going to feature conversations on topics like sex and intimacy (and we’re getting into the nitty gritty on this), communication in marriage, what marriage looks like in different seasons, how to strengthen your marriage in hard seasons, when marriage therapy could be helpful for your marriage and how to find a therapist you trust, how to go on a marriage retreat, and I’m sitting down with the owner of a model-free lingerie company to talk about intimacy. And more!!

I’m so excited to welcome brand new of the show on this journey to discover what the feminine genius is and how the Lord is asking us to live it out in our day to day reality as wives. Resources for you:

• Subscribe to Naptime Notes and get early, ad free access to all the Letters to Women episodes for just $5 a month

In this final episode of the Letters to Mothers season, we’re talking about one of the most difficult challenges you may face as a mother: having the first “talk” with your kids. You know the one—discussing their changing bodies and sex for the first time.

Where do you start? When do you start? How do you have those conversations in a way that makes sure they have the information they need without leaving them feeling overwhelmed or ashamed?

Today I’m speaking with Dr. Julia Sadusky, a clinical psychologist. She’s answering the questions that I have and giving all of us a boost of confidence that we need as we have foundational conversations with our young kids long before they hit puberty.

If you want to be ready to talk with your kids about human sexuality with confidence and clarity, this episode is for you.

Topics we cover:

• Julia’s story as a Catholic woman

• The origin story of Julia’s new book, Start Talking to Your Kids about Sex: A Practical Guide for Catholics published by Ave Maria Press

• Why we can’t wait until puberty to start talking about sexaulity with our kids

• The barriers that hold us back from conversations about sexuality

• Why it’s important to use accurate medical terms when teaching kids about their genitals (and how it can help prevent abuse and neglect!)

• Explaining where babies come from to our little kids

• What to do if you’re worried you missed your chance to share about human sexuality with your kids

• How Julia lives out the feminine genius in her ordinary daily life (hint: it involves legos!)

Resources for you:

• Pick up a copy of Julia’s new book, Start Talking to Your Kids about Sex: A Practical Guide for Catholics

• Visit Julia’s website

• Follow Julia on Instagram

• Subscribe to Naptime Notes and get early, ad free access to all the Letters to Women episodes for just $5 a month

Discussion questions:

1. Who taught you about human sexaulity as a kid? What were those conversations like for you and how did they shape the way you think about sex and intimacy today?
   

2. Have you had a hard time starting conversations about sex with your kids? What barriers might be holding you back from anticipating and initiating conversations about human sexuality with your kids?
   

3. Was there anything in this conversation with Julia that struck you as a parent? Is there anything you’ll change in your approach to conversations about sexuality with your kids after listening to her advice about sharing with kids the goodness of their body?
   

4. What did you think about Dr. Julia’s advice to use accurate medical terms to teach your kids about their body? Was that modeled for you growing up, or would using medical terms instead of nicknames be a change from your experience as a child?
   

5. What is your vision as a parent for conversations with your kids about sex? What would you love those conversations to look like as your children get older, and what can you do today to start laying the foundation for continued conversations with your kids about sex?