I've always struggling with this horrible, aching sense of emptiness. The only way I can really describe it is a black abyss that comes over me and fills me with a sense of dread. I know I've gone through how to feel all different feelings, but this emptiness was one I could never really feel the "cure" for. I found it purposeless and strange and no one else seemed to understand the feeling I was having. I was always told to just do xyz, but after years of traveling, relationships, amazing jobs, and endless highs of life, there was never anything that could fix it. In this episode, I recap a recent enlightening conversation with a friend where she explained to me the power in surrender and letting go of control - a kind of release that can only come from the knowledge that God truly has you. She explained to me that only once you really see your vulnerability as a blessing for God to step in, rather than seeing it as a source of powerless, dread, and allowing it to fuel your desire to control will I be truly free. I'd heard surrender and let God many times throughout my life, but for some reason this was the lock and key to make it hit different. Since this conversation happened, I've finally felt peace. I've finally felt space, and it's the only thing that's interrupted my hyper-fixation on my recent breakup. I finally feel ease, calm, peace, contentment, and I just wanted to bring that to you, too.

Breakups are hard. There's no way around that. You think this person is a dream and you're finally closer to finding your person only to find it crumbling beneath your feet. When there's no real closure, the person chooses to ghost and quickly replace you with someone you wonder if any of it was ever real. You feel shaken with distrust for yourself, all your trust issues resurface, and you wonder if you'll ever find true love. I'm in that same boat now. I thought I finally picked well after a long string of heartbreak, only to find he was just like the rest. It's taken some time and a whole lot of tears, but I finally created a way to move on. Instead of focusing on the heartbreak, I'm seeing all the ways this relationship was put in my life and to grow and change me into a person better equipped to recognize the real thing when it comes and how to show up best for it. Come with my on this journey of heartbreak, while I navigate moving on from it, setting new standards of engagement, and seeing it all as an opportunity to reconnect and become my higher self.

We all know that our thoughts drive our emotions and behavior, but what's even more critical to understand is distinguishing the validity and truth or falsehood of our thoughts and beliefs. I've found that the majority of arguments we have with other people isn't necessarily a difference in values, but a difference in perspective and how each other is viewing a situation. Often our thoughts can become distorted by our previous traumas and subsequent fears, and we may try to regain control based on a lie. The lies we believe can permeate our being and cause us to act in self-preserving ways that harm others, such as ego-defensive behaviors. As a result, we not only see breakdown in our interpersonal relationships, but also breakdown in how we see ourselves. Discerning truth and lies and being able to focus on the higher truths (which I touch on in truth 101) is essential in truly being able to handle life and relationships that moves toward health and healthy coping. In this episode particularly, I use a recent painful breakup to illustrate how distortions can cause irreparable damage, but how you can focus on the larger truth to still move forward and onward towards your highest growth.