Today my dear friend Sarah C from the Beaches Group in Toronto celebrates 9 years of continuous sobriety and a changed way of living.

I thought the talk I gave at the home group I "made her" join when she moved to a different part of the city would be a good way to honor her commitment to this way of living.

She always jokes about how I give her orders or make her do things, then she expresses gratitude for listening because everything I've ever suggested was nothing more or less than what I had to do myself to get and maintain my sobriety.

She also loves to tell the story to anyone who works with me how easy they have it, for when she started working with me she wanted to be my friend and I told her one day "I'm not here to be your fucking friend Sarah! I'm here to help save your fucking life."

It was this way for me too. My sponsor got frustrated with my balking and whining about life one day and said "your thoughts and feelings are what's wrong with you Lisa so why don't we put them on a shelf for now. I'm not here to be your therapist and I'm not here to be your fucking friend. I have to care more about saving your life than whether or not you like me or I hurt your feelings."

It made sense that my sponsor had done more to help me than any friend ever could, by the very fact that he wasn't motivated by keeping a friendship alive but instead motivated by keeping ME alive.

In learning to sponsor this way, Sarah and I have become the closest of friends. We have learned that Iron sharpens Iron and a true friend doesn't just agree or co-sign another's bullshit.