We are not as smart as we think we are.

We're busy and distracted in a world that is incentivized to continually make us more of both. The only things that work, the only messages that cut through the noise, are sharp, clear, and direct.

We’ve all been advised to “not judge a book by its cover,” to “not count your chickens before they hatch,” and that “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Maybe for you, what comes to mind is something political, like Patrick Henry’s revolutionary “Give me liberty, or give me death!” or more recently, Barack Obama’s “Yes We Can.”

Now think for a second about the other few thousand messages you heard in the past 24 hours –things told to you, like ads, warnings, instructions, or even things you’ve sought out, like articles, social media posts, or stories.

How many of them do you actually remember? How many of the things that you’ve said, do other people remember? Do they actually even hear what you’re saying?

The answer is simple. Literally. Simple. Regardless if these messages are trying to get your dollars, your votes, or just your thoughts, the most effective messages all share one thing. They-are-simple.

Ben Guttmann is interested in the things and ideas that move people - why we make the decisions we make; why we vote for who we vote for; why we buy the products we buy, and ultimately, why we do what we do.

We did a deep dive into his new book, Simply Put: Why Clear Messages Win-and How to Design Them. It emphasizes the importance of clear communication, and we discussed why he believes clarity is such a critical skill, both personally and professionally. Simply Put offers strategies for simplifying complex ideas and messages. Ben stepped me through the key principles and techniques listeners can use to streamline their communication effectively.

It was a fun and informative conversation with one of the best. Ben’s work is a gift to not only his students, but to all of us who want to communicate more clearly, and simply.

You have likely seen moments of peak performance—perhaps an athlete plays a perfect game or

a business that has a quarter with once-in-a-lifetime profits. Perhaps you have experienced something similar – playing a musical piece perfectly, making a faultless shot, or perhaps acing a final. But these moments are often elusive, and for every amazing day, we may have a hundred ordinary or even unsatisfying days.

Now, imagine your best day at work - you exceed the goals set for you, your interactions with coworkers are productive and bristle-free, the new system you implemented has boosted productivity company-wide, and you leave the office feeling on top of the world rather than crushed under the weight of it.

What if your best day could be every day?

This is something that Dr. Daniel Goleman knows a lot about. Along with Dr. Cary Cherniss, they have written Optimal: How to Sustain Personal and Organizational Excellence Every Day, which discusses how emotional intelligence can help us have a great day, any day, or said another way, to consistently work at our “optimal” level.

Daniel Goleman is a renowned psychologist, author, and science journalist. For twelve years, he wrote for The New York Times, reporting on the brain and behavioral sciences. His 1995 book Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ was on The New York Times Best Seller list for a year-and-a-half, was a bestseller in numerous countries, is in print worldwide in 40 languages, and has sold over six million copies.

A frequent speaker on campuses and to businesses, he has worked with organizations around the globe, examining the way social and emotional competencies impact the bottom-line. Daniel is ranked as one of the 10 most influential business thinkers by the Wall Street Journal, and his articles in the Harvard Business Review are among the most frequently requested reprints.

We covered topics of ways for a person to attain better self-awareness, organizational citizenship and becoming a “good organizational citizen” along with ways to become one. And research has found that, emotional intelligence can improve productivity and engagement, career advancement, job satisfaction, and better health.

As I noted at the beginning, Daniel and his work have served as an inspiration and role model for me in my career as a psychologist, and I am deeply indebted. He shares his gifts with the world at large via living with purpose and fulfillment in order to live our lives in full.

Have you ever found yourself in the presence of someone you love dearly and had nothing to say? The silence, not indicative of your care for the other, nor of your desire to connect with them, and yet there were no words you could grasp to articulate the depth or quality of your connection to them.

Or, have you found yourself in the same looped pattern of conversation with someone you love? Feeling as though you were treading the same path repeatedly, and it was simply exhausting? Or, even worse, it was deteriorating your connection.

We all crave connection. But sometimes we need help getting there.

Topaz Adizes offers a guide to having the conversations that can lead to that connection in his latest book, 12 Questions for Love: A Guide to Intimate Conversations and Deeper Relationships. After a decade of exploring human emotions and intimacy through more than 1200 conversations in his Emmy Award-winning experience design studio, The Skin Deep, Topaz has been studying and watching humans of all types, and in all kinds of relationships, simply talk. And it’s resonating, having over 1.2 million followers on TikTok and 900,000 on YouTube.

Topaz is a writer, director, and experience design architect. He is an Edmund Hillary Fellow and Sundance/Skoll Stories of Change Fellow. His works have been selected to Cannes, Sundance, IDFA, and SXSW; featured in New Yorker magazine, Vanity Fair, and the New York Times; and have garnered an Emmy for New Approaches to Documentary, along with Two World Press photo awards for Immersive Storytelling and Interactive Documentary.

He is currently the Founder and Executive Director of The Skin Deep. Topaz studied philosophy at UC Berkeley and Oxford University. He speaks four languages, and currently lives in Mexico with his wife and two children.

In this episode, Topaz shares what he has learned from witnessing over 1200 conversations and the lessons from his own first-hand experiences.

Topaz’s creativity, like his humanity, seems boundless. His work on relationship developments is a useful approach to helping us all have deeper and more intimate relationships that helps each us live our lives in full.