What's the real difference between a manager and a leader? While technical skills and industry knowledge matter, emotional intelligence often makes or breaks leadership effectiveness. In this episode, Kristen breaks down the Genos six key competencies of emotional intelligence and how they show up in leadership, while Mike adds his perspective (using an enlightening feelings wheel). Through practical examples and even a few Star Trek references, they explore how emotional intelligence impacts everything from decision-making to team performance. Whether you've heard of EI before or this is all new territory, you'll walk away understanding exactly what emotional intelligence looks like in action and how to start improving yours today.

Download your free PDF companion to this episode, featuring the Genos emotional intelligence model and 18 tips for boosting your EI: https://llpod.link/ei

Highlights:

• The history of emotional intelligence and how it became such an important leadership skill
• Why emotional intelligence can be learned (with the right approach)
• The research-backed benefits of emotional intelligence for leadership effectiveness
• A breakdown of the six Genos emotional intelligence competencies: self-awareness, awareness of others, authenticity, emotional reasoning, self-management, and inspiring performance
• How to actually improve your emotional intelligence through reflection, feedback, and intentional habit formation
• The balance between showing authenticity and managing emotions as a leader
• The critical importance of understanding both emotional and logical information in decision-making

Links & Resources Mentioned

• Free PDF: 18 Ways to Boost Your Emotional Intelligence
• Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
• Harvard Business Review: What Makes a Leader by Daniel Goleman
• Genos International
• Iron Sharpened Leadership by John Gronski
• Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss
• Feelings Wheel 2 Pack (from Amazon)

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

In part two of their deep dive into Brené Brown's Dare to Lead, Kristen and Mike explore shame, empathy, and trust through both personal and professional lenses. Through vulnerable stories - including Mike's nerve-wracking experience of saying "I love you" first and Kristen's college final exam mishap - they break down how shame shows up in leadership and what to do about it. The episode unpacks practical frameworks for building trust, developing emotional literacy, and becoming more resilient. For leaders looking to create psychologically safe environments where their teams can take risks and bounce back from failure, this episode offers concrete tools and relatable examples of putting Brown's research into practice.

You can listen to part one here: https://www.loveandleadershippod.com/12

Highlights:

• The difference between shame ("I am bad") and guilt ("I did something bad"), and why this distinction matters for leadership
• How shame can permeate organizational culture through perfectionism, favoritism, and tying self-worth to productivity
• The BRAVING framework for building trust: Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-judgment, and Generosity
• Understanding emotional literacy and why leaders need to be able to identify and name at least 30 different emotions
• Six common ways people offload emotions onto others, including "chandeliering" (sudden emotional outbursts from those in power)
• The importance of identifying personal and organizational values, and how to actually put them into practice
• Why "the story I'm telling myself" is a powerful tool for managing emotional reactions
• The three-step Learning to Rise process for building resilience: The Reckoning, The Rumble, and The Revolution

Links & Resources:

• Dare to Lead by Brené Brown
• Dare to Lead Hub - Free downloadable workbook and resources
• The Thin Book of Trust by Charles Feltman
• The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
• The Gap and The Gain by Dan Sullivan
• Good to Great by Jim Collins
• Extreme Ownership by Jocko Wilink
• Boundaries for Leaders by Dr. Henry Cloud

Get your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challenge

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

As the 2024 US presidential election looms, leaders face a unique challenge: supporting their teams' mental wellness during a high-stress period. In this episode, Kristen and Mike explore this timely topic with licensed therapist Megan Romano. They discuss how leaders can navigate the emotional minefield of election season, from recognizing their own triggers to creating a psychologically safe environment for their teams. Megan shares practical techniques for emotional regulation and emphasizes the importance of leaders modeling vulnerability and self-care. This episode offers invaluable insights on how to lead with empathy and resilience during turbulent times.

About Megan:

Megan Romano (M.S., LMFT) is a New York-based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in trauma therapy. With extensive experience in inpatient rehabilitation and online therapy, she has treated clients globally and trained therapists in various settings. She is certified in treating disruptive behavioral disorders, crisis intervention, and trauma-focused cognitive behavioral disorders. She provides therapy for individuals, families, and couples, addressing a wide range of challenges. She has received "The Best of Brooklyn Award for Counseling and Mental Health" for nine consecutive years. She is also the founder of Human Nation™, a mental health resource, and the inventor of a patent-pending trauma intervention that is 100% effective and substance-free.

Highlights:

• The impact of elections on workplace dynamics: 79% of employees reported being distracted during the 2020 election.
• The importance of leaders recognizing and regulating their own emotions before addressing their team's concerns.
• Techniques for emotional regulation, including breathing exercises and identifying physical signs of stress.
• The value of taking timeouts during tense meetings to allow for emotional processing.
• The role of vulnerability in leadership and how it can foster trust and psychological safety.
• The concept of "tend and befriend" as a positive stress response in the workplace.
• The importance of authentic check-ins with employees and listening to learn rather than to respond.
• Tips for finding the right therapist and normalizing mental health care in the workplace.
• The benefits of proactive therapy for leaders, even without a specific crisis or diagnosis.

Links and Resources Mentioned:

• Human Nation™ website
• Megan Romano Therapy
• Megan’s new Instagram account
• Zippia election study
• The Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal
• Dare to Lead by Brené Brown

Get your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challenge

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Join Kristen and Mike as they explore the world of courageous leadership through Brené Brown's groundbreaking book Dare to Lead. In this first part of a two-episode series, they unpack the myths surrounding vulnerability, the power of clear communication, and the importance of embracing discomfort in leadership. From discussing the "armory" we use to protect ourselves to examining the differences between armored and daring leadership styles, this episode offers practical insights for leaders at all levels. Whether you're struggling with perfectionism, battling imposter syndrome, or simply looking to lead with more authenticity, this conversation will challenge you to rethink your approach to leadership and inspire you to step into your own arena with courage.

Highlights:

• Introduction to Brené Brown's "Dare to Lead" and its significance in leadership literature
• Exploration of the six myths of vulnerability and their impact on leadership
• Discussion of the "armory" and how it affects our ability to lead authentically
• Breakdown of 16 key differences between armored and daring leadership styles
• Examination of the importance of clear communication and "painting done" for team alignment
• Insights on the role of empathy, trust, and belonging in effective leadership
• Reflection on the challenges of balancing productivity with rest and recovery
• Analysis of the impact of shame and blame on organizational culture
• Personal anecdotes from Kristen and Mike relating to their own leadership experiences

Links & Resources Mentioned:

1. Dare to Lead by Brené Brown
2. Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
3. Rising Strong by Brené Brown
4. Brené Brown's 2010 TED Talk (The Power of Vulnerability)
5. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
6. Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff
7. Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink
8. Good to Great by Jim Collins
9. Relentless by Tim Grover
10. Love and Leadership Episode #11 with Melissa Jurkoic
11. In Your Face app for managing ADHD and meetings

Get your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challenge

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Kristen sits down with Melissa Jurkoic, a tech industry veteran and champion for diversity in leadership. Melissa's journey from junior software engineer to Chief Experience Officer is a testament to the power of resilience and authenticity in leadership. She shares candid insights on navigating male-dominated spaces, the importance of sponsorship, and why being your genuine self is crucial for effective leadership. Melissa's approach to "boundaried vulnerability" offers a fresh perspective on balancing openness with professionalism. This conversation will challenge you to rethink your approach to leadership and inspire you to create more inclusive, transparent work environments.

About Melissa:
Melissa Jurkoic has been in the tech industry for more than 25 years, primarily in hospitality tech, progressing from Junior Software Engineer to her current position as Chief Experience Officer at Thynk. She earned a Bachelor's in Computer Science from the University of New Hampshire and an executive certificate in Management and Leadership from MIT. Motivated by her commitment to increasing the representation of women in leadership and tech, she has volunteered with various global organizations such as ChickTech, Everwise, WITI, NH Tech Alliance, Microsoft DigiGirlz, wiseHer, Girl Scouts, and AnitaB.org. This dedication also inspired her to co-found Diversify Thinking, an initiative dedicated to advancing inclusion from dialogue to implementation and fostering diversity of thought.

Highlights:

• Melissa's unexpected path from aspiring journalist to engineering leader
• The impact of having a sponsor who puts you "in the room"
• Dealing with skepticism and proving yourself as a woman in tech
• The concept of "boundaried vulnerability" in leadership
• Creating a culture of trust and transparency within teams
• The importance of authenticity in leadership, even during tough times
• Challenging the notion of "like-minded" teams and embracing diversity of thought
• Melissa's experience with Diversify Thinking and unconventional mentoring programs
• The mutual benefits of mentoring across different backgrounds and experiences

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• Melissa’s LinkedIn profile
• Diversify Thinking (Melissa’s initiative)
• WomenTech Network (where Kristen and Melissa met)
• Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek
• Dare to Lead by Brené Brown

Get your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challenge

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Giving difficult feedback is a crucial skill for leaders, but it's often dreaded. In this episode of Love and Leadership, Kristen and Mike Sharkey dive into the art of delivering constructive criticism effectively. They explore why the traditional "feedback sandwich" falls short and introduce a more impactful approach. Drawing from their personal experiences and research, they offer practical strategies to make feedback conversations more productive and less anxiety-inducing for both parties. Whether you're a new manager or a seasoned executive, this episode will equip you with tools to transform challenging conversations into opportunities for growth and stronger relationships with your team.

Highlights:

• The importance of feedback in leadership and why employees actually want more of it
• Why the "feedback sandwich" method is ineffective and can undermine your message
• Introduction to Kristen's IMPEL model for delivering feedback: Intention, Moment, Presentation, Exploration, and Layout
• The significance of choosing the right moment and gaining commitment before giving feedback
• How to frame feedback in a way that shows you have the employee's best interests at heart
• Using the SBI (Situation, Behavior, Impact) framework to make feedback specific and actionable
• The importance of active listening and allowing the receiver to process the feedback
• Empowering the feedback receiver to commit to their own action plan
• Tips for preparing for difficult feedback conversations, including writing out talking points
• How leaders can overcome their own discomfort with giving feedback

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• Zenger Folkman research on feedback
• Harvard Business Review article by Zenger and Folkman
• Kim Scott's blog post on why the feedback sandwich is ineffective
• The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier
• The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy
• Radical Candor by Kim Scott
• It's Your Ship by Captain D. Michael Abrashoff
• The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay Stanier
• Dare to Lead by Brené Brown

Get your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challenge

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

Kristen and Mike dive into The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier, a book that's transforming how leaders approach coaching. They unpack the seven essential questions that can revolutionize your leadership style, making you more effective and less overwhelmed. From learning to tame your "advice monster" to understanding the neuroscience behind great coaching, this episode is packed with practical insights. Whether you're drowning in an over-dependent team or struggling to focus on what really matters, Kristen and Mike offer a fresh perspective on how to lead with curiosity and empower your team. Plus, they share personal anecdotes and challenges in implementing these techniques, making the journey to better leadership both relatable and achievable.

Highlights:

• Introduction to The Coaching Habit and its impact on leadership at all levels
• The importance of asking "What's on your mind?" to start meaningful conversations
• Using "And what else?" to dive deeper and generate more options
• Focusing on "What's the real challenge here for you?" to address core issues
• The power of "What do you want?" in increasing autonomy and trust
• How "How can I help?" can prevent micromanagement and create clarity
• Understanding trade-offs with "If you're saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?"
• The significance of reflection with "What was most useful for you?"
• Discussion on the neuroscience behind effective coaching techniques
• Personal insights from Kristen and Mike on implementing coaching habits in their lives

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier
• Box of Crayons (Michael Bungay Stanier's learning and development company)
• Atomic Habits by James Clear
• The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
• Make It Stick by Peter C. Brown, Henry L. Roediger, III, and Mark A. McDaniel
• The HeART of Laser-Focused Coaching by Marianne Franklin
• Chill and Prosper by Denise Duffield Thomas

Get your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challenge

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

In this episode, Kristen and Mike sit down with Nicole Mashburn, CEO of Villa Marin, a Continuing Care Retirement Community in Northern California. Nicole shares her journey into senior living leadership and her philosophy on authentic leadership. With over 20 years of experience, Nicole offers valuable insights on fostering a collaborative team environment, handling leadership challenges, and the importance of self-awareness. She discusses how her upbringing shaped her leadership style and emphasizes the power of vulnerability and empathy in the workplace. Listeners will gain practical advice on how to lead authentically, create a positive work culture, and find purpose in their careers.

Highlights:

• How Nicole stumbled into senior living and found her passion for combining business with service to others.
• The importance of doing the right thing in business, even when it's challenging.
• How Nicole’s leadership style has evolved through self-awareness and learning from past experiences.
• The power of modeling authenticity and asking team members what they need to succeed.
• The impact a leader's attitude can have on thousands of people by the end of the day.
• The Four Agreements and how they shape Nicole's leadership style.
• Advice for mentoring and supporting young leaders in their careers.
• The importance of purpose in aging and how it relates to servant leadership.
• Final advice for new leaders: Be yourself and find the right environment where you can thrive.

About Nicole:

Nicole Mashburn is the CEO of Villa Marin Homeowners Association, a premier Continuing Care Retirement Community in San Rafael, California. With over 20 years of experience in senior housing and long-term care, Nicole brings a wealth of expertise to her role. Her career spans leadership positions at Cogir, Etros, Discovery Senior Living, and Sagora Senior Living, where she consistently drove revenue growth, improved occupancy rates, and fostered high resident satisfaction. Known for her innovative approaches to community development and team leadership, Nicole is passionate about creating environments where both residents and staff can thrive. Her leadership philosophy emphasizes authenticity, empathy, and adaptability, with a focus on building meaningful relationships within the community.

Follow her on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charlotte-nicole-dodson-63568b260/

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
• Radical Aliveness model
• Villa Marin (Nicole’s community)
• The Greatest Generation by Tom Brokaw

Get your FREE 5 Day Leadership Reset Challenge guide here: https://llpod.link/challenge

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com