The Grand Finale! This final episode presents a summary of the topics and takeaways from all of the episodes of the Loving Parenting podcast. Each topic is referenced to a particular episode number, so that you can easily find and listen to the episode that discusses that topic in more depth.

Thank you, dear listener, for listening to the episodes that I have presented. May G-d very soon have mercy on all of us, and show us His kindness in a pleasant way, as the verse says (Psalms 31:8), “I will exult and rejoice in Your kindness; that You have seen my affliction, You have known of the troubles of my soul.”

All the best to you and your family.

It is tragic for parents when a child blocks them from communicating with their child. How can you deal with this? Although you cannot control the situation, you can control your attitude. Begin with acceptance of the situation. Then, think of what you could do, if anything, to improve the situation. Finally, learn to feel empathy for your child - this episode gives ideas on how to do that, drawn from an excellent article at this website: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/estranged-from-your-adult-child-5-things-you-can-do/

Feeling empathy for your child can reduce your pain, and lead to greater understanding on your part.

What if you've followed all the good advice that you've gotten from this podcast and from counselors that you've consulted, and you still don't see any improvement in your relationship with your child? You might feel that your efforts are futile, but consider this: Your child might actually feel positively toward your efforts, but may not show it, especially if he lives far away from you. In any case, the love you feel for your child, when you keep acting loving toward her even though you see no results -- that is a pure and true love. It is an admirable and exemplary love, a selfless love that has no expectation of return on investment.

Jealousy of other parents' children is something you might feel when you hear other parents bragging about their children, and you feel that your child doesn't measure up to the other parents' standards. To overcome these feelings of jealousy, (a) Realize that these parents may be exaggerating their children's good qualities, (b) Be very proud of yourself for the efforts that you've made to deeply and unconditionally love your child, and (c) Contemplate the very fine qualities that your child certainly has, and feel very proud of your child for having these qualities.

If one of these parents says to you, “I’m so thankful that my child is ...”, you can reply, “I’m so thankful that I have discovered such a deep love for my child.” You truly do have much to be thankful for!

If your child blames you for poorly parenting him, you should empathize with him as much as you can. But you also have to evaluate what he is saying. On one hand, you sincerely made your best effort to parent your child in the best way that you knew how. On the other hand, you apparently did cause some lasting emotional harm to your child. How can you evaluate your contribution to this situation? Are you innocent or guilty, or both? The Torah provides guidance on how a person who killed another by accident should be dealt with. The case of the sincere parent is similar and analogous to the case of the accidental killer. This episode examines the analogy in detail and describes actions, derived from this analogy, that the parent can take to rectify the situation to the degree possible.

Link to King Menashe's prayer (which is referred to in this episode):

 https://www.sefaria.org/Prayer_of_Manasseh.1?lang=bi

Self-blame is what a parent might feel if he or she has difficulites with his or her child. It is natural to feel, "I should have...", "I could have....", etc., but this is wrong for two reasons. First, the way your child turned out is due largely to your own influence, but is also due to many other factors in your child's life. So, any negative qualities your child has are not due entirely to your influence. Second, remember that what you know and understand now about relating to people is a result of your experiences in life, including your experiences with your child. But you didn't know these things when your child was much younger, so don't blame yourself for what you didn't know at that time. Set aside fixed times to contemplate what you can do better, and the rest of the time, enjoy your life!

Physical touch is a powerful way of expressing love to your child. Physical touch is especially critical for infants and very young children. It makes them feel safe, secure, and loved. If a child, whose primary love language is physical touch, is in emotional pain, then holding him or her is the most important thing to do – it relieves the pain and heals the pain. If your child is feeling sad then hugging him shows that you care. If you find it difficult, just imagine how much your child needs your touch, and will appreciate your touch. This episode gives several examples of ways to show physical touch to your children in loving ways.

Giving a gift to your child is a symbolic expression that means a lot. It gives your child the feeling that you were thinking of him, you remembered him. Gifts are a tangible way of showing love. You can give symbolic gifts that are not expensive. Be creative. For example, make your own greeting card that says “I love you” or a similar message. This episode gives several examples of gifts to give to your child. Give the gift, whatever it is, with warmth and generosity, so that your child feels that you really want to give this gift. If possible, personalize the gift.