I continue to swim in a deep mountain lake, exploring Hate, both present and past. These waters have led me to Power, or lack thereof, the loss of personal power. And the reclamation. I’m widening, broadening, encompassing more of life, more of me, by exploring the thing I despised most - Hate. It isn’t what I thought.

What's meditation really like? Like obsessing over a new toilet bowl scrubber, over and over and over... Truly. It's funny, absurd, crazy, humorous, ridiculous, compassionate, REAL REAL REAL. And always a gift I give myself. (and honestly, others!)

I share my recent experience and learning from the emotional teacher called Hate. It’s teaching me to feel hate, it’s ok, and to return to moments when I felt hate. To see hate. Look at it. Know it. Then decide. Hate is a powerful teacher for me, I appreciate all that I’m learning.

In the episode I share the many arcs of my meditation practice, along with Forgiveness as a clear waterfall of cleansing energy, and of Growth as a similar effervescent energy. I also speak to the uselessness of beautiful words when/if they don’t convey the energy the speak of.

This episode is of a powerful life story spoken by a beautiful woman, who also happens to be one of resilience, honesty, strength, courage, and most importantly, Self-ness: she is her self, and her self is her --- together they are an inspiring force of change, inner and outer. Thanks innumerable to this dear friend, mentor, woman, and Soul. I treasure you always, in All Ways.

If you start exactly where you are, you will get where you need to go. I started in an ‘ugly’ place of hate and trusted the process of being in the immediacy of the moment…that’s how I found myself moving toward the center of a labyrinth, creating a new structure of spacious learning, and seeking the softer dimensions of possibility and potentiality.

These are the words I wrote last week and I've been mulling them over since then...until I did a free-form journal session and found a few answers. But it wasn't actually until I was recording this episode that the fullness of these words came to me. That fullness is this: Build a healthy foundation and structure such that you can dismantle the unhealthy rape without imploding upon yourself, nor exploding upon others - do no harm. The greatest kindness we can offer each other is to dismantle the unhealthy within ourselves without harm. There may be hurt...but no harm. Love to you All.

I'm learning to do hard things, again. I was much better at it when I was younger, before all my 'failures'. Well, I want to remember that it's ok to do hard things, and to 'fail' - whatever that means. So, I'm setting small goals, like picking up my classical guitar for 15 minutes a day. Just picking it up! And learning the first step in doing something hard is...taking the first step!