In this heartfelt and down-to-earth episode of Marriage IQ Real Talk, Scott and Heidi Hastings open up about the identity shifts that naturally occur over the course of a marriage—and how those changes can either bring couples closer or slowly create distance.

Drawing from their own journey through parenthood, career changes, and personal growth, Scott and Heidi offer a vulnerable look at how evolving roles, beliefs, and passions can reshape a marriage—for better or for worse.

🎧 In this episode, we explore:

• How major life transitions—like becoming parents, changing careers, or exploring new beliefs—can impact your identity

• Why curiosity and emotional safety are essential when your spouse is changing

• What to do when fear or disconnection starts creeping in

• A simple but powerful practice: identity affirmation lists

• The beautiful metaphor behind Ben Platt’s "Grow As We Go"—and how it speaks to the heart of lasting love

Whether you're in the middle of a shift or feeling the distance that change can bring, this episode is a reminder: growth doesn't have to divide you. It can be the very thing that draws you back together.

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In this soul-searching episode of Marriage IQ, we dive into one of the most overlooked challenges in long-term relationships: how marriage changes you—and what to do when you're not sure who you're becoming.

From becoming parents to launching kids, career pivots to personal losses, the biggest life transitions don’t just change your schedule—they change your identity. And when that happens, even solid marriages can feel off-balance.

We explore the real tension between growing as an individual and growing together, and why the healthiest couples learn to do both.

Inside this episode:

• The identity-shaking moments every couple will face: parenthood, career changes, relocation, loss, and more

• Why it’s normal to feel disconnected—even from yourself—during big transitions

• How to recognize the subtle signs of growing apart before it becomes a crisis

• Why Differentiation of Self is the secret sauce for maintaining “me” without losing “we”

• Tools to talk about who you’re becoming—and how to support your partner in who they’re becoming, too

• We’ll also share vulnerable stories, practical tools, and mindset shifts that help couples not just survive change, but grow stronger because of it.

YOUTUBE: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/videos⁠⁠
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In this powerful continuation of their story (see episode 56) , Portia and Chad Louder return to Marriage iQ to share how their marriage not only survived—but deepened—during Portia’s five-year federal prison sentence and beyond.

Chad’s Side of the Story
We hear Chad’s honest perspective as he stepped into single parenting, financial strain, and the emotional weight of holding a family together. His steady commitment reveals what true support looks like under pressure.

Staying Connected Behind Bars
From daily emails to Portia’s vulnerable prison blog, learn how this couple fought to stay emotionally connected across distance, shame, and uncertainty.

The Hard Work of Healing
The Louders open up about reunification after prison—rebuilding trust, helping their teens process pain, and choosing to lead with love, truth, and forgiveness.

Marriage Lessons You’ll Never Forget
Portia and Chad share raw insights on:

• Focusing on your partner’s strengths

• Why choosing love is a daily decision

• The healing power of vulnerability and faith

If you’ve ever wondered whether a marriage can come back from rock bottom—this episode proves that redemption is possible, and love can grow even through life’s darkest chapters.

YOUTUBE: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@MarriageIQ/videos⁠

FREE PDF DOWNLOADS : ⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/freebies⁠

WEEKLY TIPS NEWSLETTER: ⁠https://www.marriageiq.com/daily⁠

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