Episode 6: Is Guilt Normal? Letting Go of Guilt to Reclaim Your Power

Welcome back to Normal but Not! In this episode, host Krystal Centinello dives into the heavy and often misunderstood topic of guilt—a feeling that’s all too familiar for people-pleasers. If you’ve ever felt weighed down by guilt for setting boundaries, putting yourself first, or saying “no,” this episode is for you.

Krystal shares her personal story of navigating guilt after her grandfather’s passing, a moment that forced her to make a tough choice between family expectations and financial stability as a single mom. She explains how guilt often stems from childhood conditioning or societal pressures and offers actionable steps to help you release its grip.

• Where guilt comes from: Explore how guilt often roots itself in childhood or societal expectations.
• Recognizing guilt triggers: Identify moments when guilt shows up and how to connect them to underlying beliefs.
• Reframing guilt: Learn how to view guilt as a signal that you’re prioritizing your well-being, not failing others.
• Practicing self-compassion: Create mantras to affirm your worth, even when tough decisions are necessary.
• Celebrating guilt-free wins: Track and celebrate moments when you overcome guilt and set boundaries.
• Setting boundaries on guilt itself: Make a commitment to stop letting guilt control your choices.

• Download the free PDF: Breaking Free from Guilt for more practical tools to reclaim your power.
• Follow Krystal on Instagram: @completecoachingwithkrystal for tips, inspiration, and real talk about living authentically.

Guilt doesn’t have to rule your life. It’s time to embrace self-compassion, reclaim your power, and live unapologetically. Start small, celebrate your wins, and remember—you’re worthy of love and care, even when you make tough decisions.

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review Normal but Not. See you next week for another deep dive into reclaiming your authenticity!

What You'll Learn in This EpisodeResources MentionedTake the First Step

Welcome to Normal but Not! I’m Krystal Centinello, a trauma-informed coach here to help people-pleasers reclaim their power, set healthy boundaries, and live authentically. Today, we’re diving into one of the most universal but hidden fears many of us carry: the fear of being abandoned or disliked.

In this episode, I share my own story of staying in an emotionally abusive relationship due to a deep fear of being unloved and judged. Together, we’ll unpack how early attachment styles often root these fears in childhood and how they show up in our adult relationships. From anxious to avoidant attachment, I’ll cover how our relationship dynamics can stem from early experiences with caregivers—and outline ways to reframe and heal.

What We’ll Cover:

• Attachment Styles & Fears of Rejection: A look into how different attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized) can shape our fears.
• Where These Fears Come From: How childhood experiences with conditional love, inconsistent caregiving, or trauma influence our adult relationships.

Practical Steps to Overcome These Fears:

1. Identify the Root of Your Fear: Reflect on childhood experiences that may have planted the seeds of these fears. Journaling about this can be an enlightening start to healing.
2. Challenge the Fear of Rejection: Reframe rejection as something that reflects more on others than on you. A mantra like "I am worthy, even if someone doesn’t approve of me" can be a helpful reminder.
3. Practice Saying 'No' Without Fear: Begin by setting boundaries in small situations. You’ll start to see that people value you even when you’re not constantly saying "yes."
4. Build Secure Relationships: Seek out relationships where you feel accepted as you are. Surrounding yourself with supportive people helps build resilience against the fear of being disliked.
5. Break the Cycle for the Next Generation: If you’re a parent, model unconditional love, which can prevent children from developing these fears.

Special Insight: The Fifth Agreement’s Movie Theater Analogy I also bring in The Fifth Agreement by Don Miguel Ruiz, using the "movie theater" analogy to explain why not taking things personally can be freeing. Imagine everyone as the star of their own "movie"—others’ words and actions reflect their own perceptions, not who we are. This mindset helps us detach from personalizing others' reactions and diminishes the fear of being disliked.

Episode Summary:
In this episode of Normal but Not, Krystal delves into a complex topic that resonates with many adult children of alcoholics: growing up with a “fun” or “functional” alcoholic parent. This parent may have seemed like the life of the party, but beneath the surface, their actions often brought hidden dysfunction and unspoken pain. Krystal is joined by Jess Frost, a self-leadership and empowerment coach and co-founder of The 3E Space, who works specifically with adult children of alcoholics (ACoAs). Together, they explore the lasting effects of these early family dynamics and share ways to break free from roles that continue to impact relationships and self-worth in adulthood.

Topics Covered:

• The emotional strain behind the “fun” alcoholic parent and why it might have felt normal at the time.
• Understanding the roles of Enabler, Hero, Scapegoat, Lost Child, and Mascot in families affected by addiction.
• How these roles can shape self-esteem, vulnerability, and relationships well into adulthood.
• Actionable steps for ACoAs to start healing and create healthier patterns in their lives.

About Our Guest:
Jess Frost is a Self-Leadership and Empowerment Coach, Co-Founder of The 3E Space, and Founder of COurAgeous Healing and COurAgeous Connections, initiatives designed to support and empower adult children of alcoholics. After facing her own journey of burnout and recovery, Jess integrates a range of tools—including NLP, hypnotherapy, somatic EMDR, and breathwork—to help ACoAs reconnect with themselves and reclaim their lives.

Key Takeaways:

1. Redefining Normal – Growing up with a “fun” but unpredictable parent may feel normal, but it often masks deeper emotional tension.
2. Understanding Roles – Uncover and release the roles like Hero, Scapegoat, and Lost Child that we unconsciously adopt to cope in dysfunctional family dynamics.
3. The Healing Journey – Small, intentional steps can create powerful shifts. Jess shares actionable advice for ACoAs to begin healing and developing a healthy sense of self.

Resources & Links:

• Jess Frost's Website - The 3E Space
• National Association for Children of Alcoholics (Nacoa) - nacoa.org.uk
• Jess’s Nacoa Article: Being a COA in the Workplace
• Instagram: @iamjessfrost and @the_3e_space
• Facebook: @jessfrostempowerment
• LinkedIn: Jess Frost