Is your son pulling away, shutting down, or showing little interest in school or chores?

You’re not alone — and there is a way forward.

In this third episode of our special 3-part ON BOYS series, we focus on how to foster intrinsic (inner) motivation in boys. Because yes, it’s in there — even when it feels completely buried.

We’ll help you understand the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, and why both matter. You’ll hear real-world examples from our own lives and families, plus honest talk about what doesn’t work. (Spoiler: there’s no magic phrase that makes a boy suddenly say, “Sure, I’d love to do my homework!”).

Photo By: Kaboompics.com via Pexels

• Inner motivation is the key to lasting engagement.
• External rewards (ice cream, screen time, earrings!) can work in the short term — even for adults.
• Understanding your son’s developmental stage helps you support him more effectively.
• Motivation-building strategies will look different for each child — even within the same family.
• Parents can boost motivation by aligning with boys’ goals and interests.

his episode is part of our lead-up to the Boost Boys’ Motivation interactive class:

3 live sessions in May 2025 with real-time Q&A, strategies, support & community.

Register now at boysalive.com/boost

Use coupon code ONBOYS to save $50 (just $99 for all three sessions!)

If you’ve ever wanted to jump into the conversation with us — this is your chance.

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

Empowering Boys & Dyslexic Learners — ON BOYS episode

How Your Anxiety is Sabotaging Your Son’s Motivation — ON BOYS episode

Boost Boys’ Motivation — ON BOYS episode

You can’t effectively boost boys’ motivation until you address YOUR anxiety and fear.

We know: You want your son to do his homework. To follow through on commitments. To care.

So, when he shrugs, resists, or just doesn’t seem to try, your anxiety spikes — and before you even know what’s happening, you’re caught in a spiral of worry about his future.

In this episode of ON BOYS, we talk about one of the most overlooked (but most powerful!) factors in boosting boys’ motivation: your mindset.

This episode is the second in our special three-part series on Boys & Motivation. (Find part one here.) We’re diving into the pressure parents feel, the unspoken fear that drives us, and how those feelings affect the way we interact with our sons. Plus, we share why community is key and how coming together with other parents can help you show up more effectively for your boy.

Photo by Kindel Media via Pexels

Takeaways:

• Parents’ fear & anxiety can get in the way of helping boys develop motivation
• Boys change constantly — avoid future-tripping!
• There are concrete, supportive ways parents can help build a motivating environment
• Releasing the pressure (internal and external) makes space for progress

Want more support? Join us for Boost Boys’ Motivation: How to Ignite His Spark (Without Nagging or Yelling) — a 3-session live series starting May 6, 2025.

Use code ONBOYS to save $50 → boysalive.com/boost

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

Overcoming Fears & Worries to Say YES — ON BOYS episode

Parent from Love, Not Fear (w Bryan Post) — ON BOYS episode

It is possible to boost boys’ motivation.

Doing so, though, starts with understanding why so boys are unmotivated. A big part of it is developmental: apathy and an “I don’t care/I don’t wanna” attitude commonly show up around puberty. As boy grow from boyhood to adulthood, they begin to question their priorities, interests, and goals. That’s a good thing! AND, it can be incredibly frustrating for parents and teachers who can’t see the behind-the-scenes work, who only see a once-motivated boy pulling back from previous interests and failing to to complete his homework or chores.

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko

Takeaways:

• Apparent lack of motivation is common during boys’ tween & teen years
• Approaching boys with understanding is a lot more effective than nagging
• Parents and teachers can boost boys’ motivation
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REGISTER FOR THIS 3-SESSION SERIES (begins May 6th)

CLICK HERE: Boost Boys Motivation: How to Ignite His Spark (Without Nagging or Yelling) i

Use coupon code ONBOYS to save $50.

https://boysalive.com/boost

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

Adam Price: “He’s Not Lazy” — ON BOYS episode

Listener Q & A: Getting Curious & Motivating Boys — ON BOYS episode

Maggie Dent on How to Motivate Boys — ON BOYS episode

Passion = Motivation = Learning — Building Boys Bulletin 2-14-22