If you find yourself in this role as Executor of an estate, I want to make sure to support you best during this time by providing a little food for thought. How do you want this time to look? It’s not easy losing a loved one and hopefully this episode provides emotional support in the form of considering your mindset during this time. And we found it is best practice to have ONE executor! Emily and I were both executors but needed to be present for every singing of all the papers and Emily bowed out. She said you do it, I trust you! It’s so much easier with ONE executor!! Here are the things we did to save time, money, and spare our relationships.

Protect Your Relationships

We had about a 9 month heads up that my dad was terminally ill. I lived 3 ½ hours South of my dad but I made a conscious decision that while my dad was alive I would prioritize taking care of him. My sister would call and I would get in the car and head North. On those long drives I would think about the memories I wanted to create with my dad, the moments I wanted to share still, and burning questions I wanted to ask. This would be the time to finish up that Financial Binder if it wasn’t completed. This way you know you are honoring their final wishes. But really? Complete it before this highly emotional time so you and/or your loved ones can focus on cherishing the final days. My Aunts and Uncles were so good to counsel us during this time in respect to what to expect in settling an estate and planning a funeral.

I also considered people I would be interacting with communicating things about dad’s health, his passing, and the funeral details. Out of respect, even though they were divorced, we communicated his passing with our mom first and loved ones from there. It is also ok during this time to set boundaries. I went through some scenarios to think through. How will you interact with your less than favorite relative respectfully? Keep harmony in mind.

Processing Loss

Based on my experience, it seems to be a female doing the bulk of the executor role. Her husband may be the actual Executor but in her supportive role she does most of the tasks. And so how do you, as a female, household manager, and maybe a parent, take time to process the passing of your loved one?You may need to cry it out in the shower. Maybe it becomes “long shower season.” I grieved my loss leading up to and weeks after his passing at my dad’s house. I found when I was home my family needed me. But when I got up to Akron that was a place I had time to grieve. But I encourage you to be selfish and take the time you need to process this loss.

How to Process the “Stuff”

I have this indulgent thing I do. I lay in bed half awake, half “asleep” and I think. Normally I rearrange my calendar and think through any projects. During this time I thought about my dad, my relationships, and all the stuff in his home. It was all going to be Emily and I’s. I didn’t want all of it but room by room I envisioned what I might want.

Then, I developed this elimination process for Emily and I. She didn’t have the bandwidth to sort through each room. I wanted to support her in this time and get the house content processed so we could move forward with selling his home. Each day, I’d tackle one room and set out all the items. We’d go through and claim the things we wanted. The rest would be offered to family and then to donations. This can be an emotionally charged tough season. Give yourself grace, keep harmony in mind, and for the love…finish your financial binders people!

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• The Sunday Basket®

• Financial Binder

• Sign Up for the Organize 365® Newsletter

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In this episode, I introduce you to Eve M who lives in Western Ireland with her rescue cat. Eve was first introduced to Organize 365® through listening to another podcast that was interviewing me about ADHD and Organize 365® solutions. Eve became obsessed about this idea of the slash pockets and organizing. She listened to the Sunday Basket® episodes repeatedly. She has a podcast too called Feel Better Everyday that she hosts, author of the book 365 Ways to Feel Better, owns her therapy practice, and is a freelance journalist.

We rabbit trailed about having a podcast. Eve has noticed with organization she’s gained mental capacity to batch record her podcast content. And we joked how funny it is that once you notice you’ve gained capacity you continue to push it to see how much more you can accomplish with such things as batch recording. We also talked about growing business. Once you see you have room for growth, that is a great time to get a VA. Eve has gotten a VA and is surprised by how much more she can do because she’s not focusing on the admin tasks or harvesting content from work she’s already completed. There is less on her plate due to delaying some things according to the Sunday Basket® practice, but it’s all getting done within time constraints. It’s like her safety net to not have things fall through the cracks. And knowing all of the work that needs to be done helps her ensure that she has work for her VA too.

Then we had a really fun conversation about deep dive work. I love my Thursdays when I get immersed in school studies. It allows me time to do productive deep thinking. When we get rid of some of the noise like admin tasks, meetings, delaying things till Sunday, and other distractions, we can really focus and get creative. Eve explained that this is also time to capture all of her pink thoughts. And described deep dive immersive time as being luxurious. It allows us to nourish our unique purpose and grow in it.

She wishes she’d known to build in time for rest. I explained what fun means to me, travel!! But Eve shared her she’s been resting, taking back up scuba diving, and scheduling fun. She said she spent so much time trying to catch up, she has so many ideas though, she has realized she never will “catch up” so she’s resting and having fun instead.

Eve’s advice is, “Keep checking in with yourself. Know that you know yourself best, you know your business best, you know your home best. Trust yourself and just keep asking yourself ‘What would be a kind thing for me to do for myself right now?’”

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• The Sunday Basket®

• Sign Up for the Organize 365® Newsletter

On the Wednesday podcast, I get to talk with members of the Organize 365­® community as they share the challenges, progress, missteps and triumphs along their organizing journey. I am grateful that you are reaching out to share with me and with this community. You can see and hear transformation in action. If you are ready to share your story with us, please apply at https://organize365.com/wednesday.

Did you enjoy this episode? Please leave a rating and review in your favorite podcast app. Share this episode with a friend and be sure to tag Organize 365® when you share on social media!