Dr. Rob and Dr. Erika Schwartz discuss the connection between intimacy and sex – what it is, how it varies based on age, gender, and culture, and what a partner’s betrayal really means about the relationship. The author of The Intimacy Solution, Dr. Erika explores the connection between sex and intimacy at all stages of life and answers the question that so many betrayed partners grapple with – “If you really loved me, why would you do this?”

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:28] Dr. Erica defines the key differences between sex and intimacy.

[4:45] Gender and cultural insights into sex and intimacy.

[7:48] The link between the pathology of addicts and lack of communication in relationships.

[10:27] “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t do this.”

[14:42] The reasons partners choose to leave or to stay.

[16:15] The danger of trying to hold on to the intensity of the 18-year-old life.

[17:34] Oxytocin is a key component of intimacy and connection.

[21:52] Does “in sickness and in health” apply to betrayal and addiction?

[27:15] Your partner’s addiction isn’t about you, but it is about honoring the truth.

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Dr. Geoff Goodman

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Dr. Erika Schwartz

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “You can live a much easier life if you see how the other side views sexuality and intimacy.”
• “There is a lot in sexuality that we don’t talk about that we should be talking about.”
• “You have to figure out how to fix your problem. Your partner can’t do it for you.”
• “If they are everything to you, then you are nothing to yourself.”