Phoenix of the Northeast- A Stella Bordoloi Memoir, Chapter 7- Becoming Fire, Not Fuel
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Phoenix of the Northeast- A Stella Bordoloi Memoir, Chapter 7- Becoming Fire, Not Fuel
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This is Chapter 7: Becoming Fire, Not Fuel.
This is the part where I stopped trying to be digestible. Where I stopped letting other people throw their matches at me — hoping I’d burn for their warmth.
You see, for so long, I was taught to be the fuel.
To bend, to accommodate, to set myself on fire just to keep the room from going cold.
But this chapter? This is where I re-wrote the rule.
Because I wasn’t born to be consumed — I was born to ignite.
Becoming fire, not fuel means saying no even when your voice trembles.
It means walking away from people who only love the ashes of who you used to be.
It means choosing sacred rage over silent suffering.
In this chapter, I speak about the moment I looked at the girl in the mirror — bruised by expectation, burned by betrayal — and said:
"You don’t belong to them anymore. You belong to the flame you carry."
And when I stopped begging for permission to burn, I became my own torch.
This isn’t just a chapter.
It’s a boundary. A blaze. A prayer.
A declaration that I will no longer be kind to what kills me.
From here on, I don’t explain my fire.
I embody it.
Let them misunderstand.
Let them call it anger when it’s really alchemy.
Because this is my rise — and I am the firestarter now.
If you’ve ever felt like your light was too much — or not enough — this chapter is for you.
Not everyone is meant to stand beside your flame.
But those who do? They’ll never ask you to dim it.
Thank you for walking with me through the fire.
This was Chapter 7: Becoming Fire, Not Fuel.