If you are experiencing grief, or living with the effects of trauma or abuse, you can be empowered to live with your loss, work through your heartache and regain your strength, hope, and peace.

Most individuals who experience these problems can benefit from seeking appropriate professional help. This is highly recommended when the emotional distress negatively impacts functioning.

For the Christian, the Bible is the most reliable and definitive resource for self-care. God has given instructions in his word for dealing with mental and emotional distress.

Hebrews 4:12

“For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

Extreme distressing emotions are often unreliable.

Jeremiah 17:9 states

“The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked: “Who can know it?”

Ephesians 6:12

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Three of the most damaging lies and deceptions perpetrated against the people who have been traumatized, or abused are thoughts that they are inadequate, unworthy, or unlovable

You are more than adequate. Philippians 4:13

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

You are worthy because Christ made you worthy.

Romans 8:1 “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. If you believe you are unloved or unlovable, this fosters a sense of rejection and detachment from others. Yet the word of God declares “But God commended his love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. You did not have to be perfect or do all the right things. God loves you regardless.

You are loved unconditionally by God. Romans 5:8

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Foundational Principles for Healing and Recovery

1. Principal One: Fear cannot protect you. It holds you in bondage. You must have faith in and act on the promises of God. 2 Timothy 1:7

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

2. Principle Two: Know and believe that you are not alone. Joshua 1:9

“Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.”

3. Principle Three: Know and believe that God is doing a new thing. Isaiah 43:19

“Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.”

4.Make a commitment to God and yourself to receive the healing and freedom God has promised you. Isaiah 53:5

It is important to remember that healing may not look the way you think it should.

Regardless of what it looks like, you can trust that God has a plan, and he knows what is best.

Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

In summary, you can receive healing from grief, trauma, and abuse. God has a plan. However, you must first embrace foundational principles of healing which include relying on the promises of; knowing and believing that you are not alone; understanding that God is doing a new thing in your life; and believing in the healing power of God.

Where Was God When I Needed Him?

God was there all the time:

Have not I commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

We must remind ourselves of who God is:

God is love (1 John 4:16)

God is our Heavenly Father (Romans 8:16)

God is faithful (1 Corinthians 1:9)

God is a promise keeper (Revelations 22:13)

God is the Alpha and the Omega (Revelations 22:13)

God is the author and finisher of your faith (Hebrews 12:2)

God is your provider (Philippians 4:19

God is your healer (Psalms 103:2)

God is your protector (Psalm 91:9-10)

God is your refuge and your strength (Psalm 46:1)

God is still the same God since the beginning of time as we know it:

Before the mountains were brought forth, Or ever You had formed the earth and the world, Eve from everlasting to everlasting, You are God. Psalms 90:2

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Hebrews 13:8

Why bad things happen to good people:

Original sin of Adam and Eve Genesis 3

God cares about your suffering:

For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. (Hebrews 4:15)

Likewise, the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.(Romans 8:26)

God is always working on your behalf:

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

There are four principles from the Bible that will help you overcome challenges and even rise above your circumstances. These four principles are really actions you should take to gain victory over a problem. They are 1) Be transformed in your mind; 2)Trust God; 3) Persist in Prayer; and 4) Seek God’s Presence.

Be Transformed.

You rise above your circumstances. By allowing God to transform you. You start to think and behave in accordance with the will of God. Romans 12:2.

The need to think and behave as God directs is clearly stated in the Bible. God does not think the way we think, and his ways are not our ways. Isaiah 55: 8-9

Trust God

When we Trust God, we have a firm belief in who he is, what he says, and what he will do. You must change your focus from your own understanding by seeking and trusting God. Your focus will then shift from your own limited capabilities to God’s unlimited power. Proverbs 3:5-6.

if things don’t change right away, you can still have God’s power and strength to wait till the change comes. Trusting God makes you strong and powerful. Psalms 125:1,

Persist in prayer

You must pray earnestly and persistently, with faith. Tell God all about it. Seek his direction and his help. Philippians 4:6-7

When you pray, you are not informing God. You are drawing close to him, trusting God, and demonstrating faith in his promises. Pray and speak the promises of God over yourself and your situation. 2 Corinthians 1:20

Seek God’s Presence

The courage, strength, and confidence you need to meet any challenge of life is found in the presence of God. If we seek him we find him. When we find him we find all of who he including his power to change things. Jeremiah 29:13; Isaiah 55:6; Psalm 16:11

Your circumstances can’t hold you back unless you allow it. They can’t destroy what God has created within you for his purpose. Jeremiah 29:11

What does it really mean to make room for God?

It means you seek God’s will and not your own. You defer to his agenda. This may require you to wait patiently to hear him speak to you. This enables you to enter his presence with faith and thanksgiving and receive direction to follow his plan for your kingdom purpose. Here are five points to help you make room for God:

1. Seek God first, over everything else.

Jeremiah 29:13 “And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.”

2. Be still in God’s presence. Quiet your mind, reduce distraction and open your mind and emotions to his power and authority over everything.

Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.”

3. Talk to the Lord about all things that concern you, both large and small and listen to hear God speak.

Philippians 4:6-7 KJV “Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

4. Follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. Go where he tells you to go and do what he tells you to do. Romans 8:14 “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.”

5. Use your gifts, talents, skills, and abilities to serve the kingdom of God. Search out ways to use what God has given you to bless others at home, work, church, your community, and with family and friends.

Colossians 3:17 “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.”

When you are seeking God for something or confronted with a problem that threatens your peace and joy you, a Godly mindset is extremely important to maintain hope and peace of mind. You must believe that God is who he said he is and will do what he said he will do. It is essential for you to believe in God’s purpose and power and to prepare yourself to receive what you need from the Lord.

Four spiritual beliefs lay a solid foundation for believing God. The points to remember are:

1. Greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world. (1 John 4:4 )
2. Have faith. Faith comes by hearing the word of God (Romans 10:17)
3. All things work together for your good.(Romans 8:28 )
4. You are an overcomer. (Revelation 12:11)

In addition to believing God, you must prepare yourself to receive from God. There is often a lot of negative and distressing thoughts and feelings that accompany conflict and doubt. Your doubts and internal emotional conflict can delay the blessing. Prepare to receive from God.

Receive It

1. Open your mind to truth (Romans 12:2)
2. Open your spiritual ears to hear God speak. (John 10:27)
3. Open your spiritual eyes to see past your circumstances. (Philippians 3:14)
4. Open your heart to give and receive the love of God (Matthew 22:37, 39)
5. Open your hands which is symbolic of surrendering all to God (1 Peter 5:6-7)

Once you have believed and received, don’t be afraid to act on it. Live life according to the truth God has given you. This means you step out in faith and move forward while expecting God to show up in your circumstances. Always be mindful of the power and presence of God. It will take you from focusing on the problem to praising God for the victory.

Have you ever had a period in your life when you felt all alone? Maybe you had no one to talk with about your concerns or even anyone who would understand or care about what you were going through. If so, we have some important truths to share with you about walking alone and still maintaining your peace and assurance of God’s help and provision

1. There are times in our lives when we feel alone, helpless and even hopeless. These difficult times come to everyone at one time or another.
2. It could be due to circumstances beyond your control or the consequences of a choice you have made.
3. Although you may not realize it, your season of suffering and misery can serve a spiritual purpose. (Romans 5:3 -4)
4. Whatever the reason for feeling alone and brokenhearted, there is always hope for a child of God and you are never helpless. (Psalm 46:1)
5. Sometimes you must walk alone because that is God’s purpose and plan for the season of life in which God has placed you. He sometimes allows certain experiences to teach us and elevate us. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

The following seven points give important truths about the season of aloneness.

1. It is a time of introspection and reflection that brings truth to your heart and mind without distraction. (John 8:32)
2. The Lord wants you to seek him first for your needs and not depend upon people, things or any natural resources in your hour of need. Matthew 6:33
3. What is needed is a time of more intimacy with God without distraction. We must have: Simplicity (eliminate clutter within yourself and in your environment); Silence (Be quiet and still in the presence God’s presence); Solitude (Have alone time with God); and Surrender (give all your worries and cares to God).(Charles Swindoll, Intimacy with the Almighty)
4. You may feel alone, but you are not alone. God hears your prayers and sees your tears. He feels your pain (Hebrews 4:15
5. You don’t have to be fearful nor depressed. (Joshua 1:9)
6. God is doing a new thing in your life that will elevate you to a higher purpose, (Isaiah 43: 18-19).
7. God will make it all work together for your benefit. ( Romans 8:28)This is the time to seek God Pursue God. listen to the Spirit of God. Obey God’s instruction and find your peace and rest in the Lord. (Jeremiah 29:13)