• Questions About Family & Parenting

  • 著者： Keith Muoki
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Questions About Family & Parenting

著者： Keith Muoki
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  • The Bible does not lay out a step-by-step order for family relationship priorities. However, we can look to the Scriptures and find general principles for prioritizing our family relationships. God obviously comes first: Deuteronomy 6:5, “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” All of one’s heart, soul, and strength is to be committed to loving God, making Him the first priority. Church membership and regular church attendance will be one way a family shows that God is first in their lives (see Hebrews 10:25). If you are married, your spouse comes next. A married man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Christ’s first priority—after obeying and glorifying the Father—was the church. Here is an example a husband should follow: God first, then his wife. In the same way, wives are to submit to their husbands “as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). The principle is that a woman’s husband is second only to God in her priorities. If husbands and wives are second only to God in our priorities, and since a husband and wife are one flesh (Ephesians 5:31), it stands to reason that the result of the marriage relationship—children—should be the next priority. Parents are to raise godly children who will be the next generation of those who love the Lord with all their hearts (Proverbs 22:6; Ephesians 6:4), showing once again that God comes first. All other family relationships should reflect that. Deuteronomy 5:16 tells us to honor our parents so that we may live long and so things will go well with us. No age limit is specified, which leads us to believe that as long as our parents are alive, we should honor them. Of course, once a child reaches adulthood, he is no longer obligated to obey them (“Children, obey your parents...”), but there is no age limit to honoring them. We can conclude from this that parents are next in the list of priorities after God, our spouses, and our children. After parents comes the rest of one’s family (1 Timothy 5:8). Following one’s extended family in the list of priorities are fellow believers. Romans 14 tells us not to judge or look down upon our brothers (v. 10) or do anything to cause a fellow Christian to “stumble” or fall spiritually. Much of the book of 1 Corinthians is Paul’s instructions on how the church should live together in harmony, loving one another. Other exhortations referring to our brothers and sisters in Christ are “serve one another in love” (Galatians 5:13); “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32); “encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11); and “consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24). Finally comes the rest of the world (Matthew 28:19), to whom we should bring the gospel, making disciples of Christ. In conclusion, the scriptural order of priorities is God, spouse, children, parents, extended family, brothers and sisters in Christ, and then the rest of the world. While sometimes decisions must be made to focus on one person over another, the goal is to not be neglecting any of our relationships. The biblical balance is allowing God to empower us to meet all of our relationship priorities, inside and outside our families.
    Copyright Keith Muoki
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あらすじ・解説

The Bible does not lay out a step-by-step order for family relationship priorities. However, we can look to the Scriptures and find general principles for prioritizing our family relationships. God obviously comes first: Deuteronomy 6:5, “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” All of one’s heart, soul, and strength is to be committed to loving God, making Him the first priority. Church membership and regular church attendance will be one way a family shows that God is first in their lives (see Hebrews 10:25). If you are married, your spouse comes next. A married man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Christ’s first priority—after obeying and glorifying the Father—was the church. Here is an example a husband should follow: God first, then his wife. In the same way, wives are to submit to their husbands “as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). The principle is that a woman’s husband is second only to God in her priorities. If husbands and wives are second only to God in our priorities, and since a husband and wife are one flesh (Ephesians 5:31), it stands to reason that the result of the marriage relationship—children—should be the next priority. Parents are to raise godly children who will be the next generation of those who love the Lord with all their hearts (Proverbs 22:6; Ephesians 6:4), showing once again that God comes first. All other family relationships should reflect that. Deuteronomy 5:16 tells us to honor our parents so that we may live long and so things will go well with us. No age limit is specified, which leads us to believe that as long as our parents are alive, we should honor them. Of course, once a child reaches adulthood, he is no longer obligated to obey them (“Children, obey your parents...”), but there is no age limit to honoring them. We can conclude from this that parents are next in the list of priorities after God, our spouses, and our children. After parents comes the rest of one’s family (1 Timothy 5:8). Following one’s extended family in the list of priorities are fellow believers. Romans 14 tells us not to judge or look down upon our brothers (v. 10) or do anything to cause a fellow Christian to “stumble” or fall spiritually. Much of the book of 1 Corinthians is Paul’s instructions on how the church should live together in harmony, loving one another. Other exhortations referring to our brothers and sisters in Christ are “serve one another in love” (Galatians 5:13); “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32); “encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11); and “consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24). Finally comes the rest of the world (Matthew 28:19), to whom we should bring the gospel, making disciples of Christ. In conclusion, the scriptural order of priorities is God, spouse, children, parents, extended family, brothers and sisters in Christ, and then the rest of the world. While sometimes decisions must be made to focus on one person over another, the goal is to not be neglecting any of our relationships. The biblical balance is allowing God to empower us to meet all of our relationship priorities, inside and outside our families.
Copyright Keith Muoki
スピリチュアリティ 聖職・福音主義
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  • Why are fathers told "Do not provoke your children" (Colossians 3:21)

    Why are fathers told "Do not provoke your children" (Colossians 3:21)
    2021/08/14
    In Colossians 3:18–21, the apostle Paul summarized his instructions concerning Christian family life in four concise directives: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (ESV). The word for “provoke” in the original Greek language means “to irritate or arouse feelings such as anger, hurt, shame, and fear to the point of exasperation.” Other translations render the phrase as “do not exasperate” (CSB), “do not aggravate” (NLT), “do not drive to resentment” (JB ), “do not nag” (NCV), and “do not embitter” (NIV). The image is of an overbearing disciplinarian who constantly corrects and rebukes a child for every little mistake or perceived wrong. Such a father will provoke his children. The Greek word translated “discouraged” is found only here in the New Testament. It speaks of becoming disheartened or “losing spirit.” According to A Handbook on Paul’s Letters to the Colossians and to Philemon, such a discouraged child will close down his heart and hide inside himself. “The child feels that he can never do anything right and so gives up trying” (Bratcher, R., & Nida, E., United Bible Societies, 1993, p. 94). The term father in Colossians 3:21 speaks directly of the male parent. Of course, the rule to not provoke one’s children ought to encompass both father and mother, but Paul reminds us that fathers hold the critical responsibility as head of the household. “The Christian father is not to overcorrect or harass his children, or they will become discouraged, which refers to ‘a listless, sullen resignation—a broken spirit.’ To be discouraged as a child means to think things like, I’ll never get it right, or, All he does is criticize, or, He’ll never love me. John Newton is reported to have said, ‘I know that my father loved me—but he did not seem to wish me to see it.’ Christian fathers should be sure their children are as sure of their love as they are of their authority” (Anders, M., Galatians–Colossians, Vol. 8, Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1999, p. 333.) Yes, children are called to honor and obey their parents (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:1–2, Colossians 3:20), but parents must not abuse their authority. They must treat their children with dignity, respect, patience, and love. Parents are called to encourage their children. They do this by teaching each child the principles of God’s Word and promoting life-affirming, positive creativity in the child, stirring him to have confidence in his God-given uniqueness and to believe that he can do what he otherwise may never have achieved. Endless criticism, emotional and physical neglect, and overly harsh discipline will defeat a child’s spirit. One commentator writes, “Constant nagging produces a situation where children are discouraged either because they cannot please those they love or because they feel they are of no worth to anybody” (Melick, R., Philippians, Colossians, Philemon, Vol. 32, Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1991, p. 315). Such provocation is not of God and will crush a child’s heart to the point of his becoming fearful, timid, and withdrawn. He will grow up disheartened, lacking the necessary confidence to succeed and believe he can be all God created him to be. In a teaching on family relationships to the Ephesian church, Paul exhorted fathers, “Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4, ESV). The language suggests a positive, nurturing, and faith-infused environment where children will see their father’s genuine commitment to the Lord. Parents, and especially fathers, play a critical role in representing God to their children. Just as “the Lord disciplines those he loves” (Hebrews 12:6, NLT), mothers and fathers ought to discipline their children, but with love as...
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    15 分
  • What does the Bible say about raising children?

    What does the Bible say about raising children?
    2021/07/12
    God created the family. His design was for a man and a woman to marry for life and raise children to know and honor Him (Mark 10:9; Malachi 2:15). Adoption is also God’s idea, and He models this in His adoption of us as His children (Romans 8:15, 23; Ephesians 1:5). Regardless of the means by which they enter a family, children are a gift from God and He cares about how they are raised (Psalm 127:3; Psalm 34:11; Proverbs 23:13–14). When God gives us gifts, He also gives clear instructions about their use. When God led the Israelites out of bondage, He commanded them to teach their children all He had done for them (Deuteronomy 6:6–7; 11:19). He desired that the generations to come would continue to uphold all His commands. When one generation fails to instill God’s laws in the next, a society quickly declines. Parents have not only a responsibility to their children, but an assignment from God to impart His values and truth into their lives. Several places in Scripture give specific instructions to parents about how to raise their children. Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” There are several ways parents might provoke their children to anger. Some parents set impossible standards so that a child despairs of ever achieving them. Some parents tease, ridicule, or humiliate their children as a means of punishment, which does nothing but provoke them to anger. Inconsistency can also provoke to anger as a child is never sure about the consequences of his actions. Hypocrisy provokes children to anger when parents require behavior from children that the parents are not choosing for themselves. To “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” means that parents should train their children the way God trains us. As a Father, God is “slow to anger” (Numbers 14:18; Psalm 145:8), patient (Psalm 86:15), and forgiving (Daniel 9:9). His discipline is designed to bring us to repentance (Hebrews 12:6–11). His instruction is found in His Word (John 17:17; Psalm 119:97), and He desires that parents fill their homes with His truth (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). He also disciplines His children (Proverbs 3:11; Hebrews 12:5) and expects earthly parents to do the same (Proverbs 23:13). Psalm 94:12 says, “Blessed is the one you discipline, LORD, the one you teach from your law.” The word discipline comes from the root word disciple. To discipline someone means to make a disciple of him. God’s discipline is designed to “conform us to the image of Christ” (Romans 8:29). Parents can make disciples of their children by instilling values and life lessons they have learned. As parents practice godly living and make Spirit-controlled decisions (Galatians 5:16, 25), they can encourage their children to follow their example. Proper, consistent discipline brings a “harvest of righteousness” (Hebrews 12:11). Failure to discipline results in dishonor for both parent and child (Proverbs 10:1). Proverbs 15:32 says that the one who ignores discipline “despises himself.” The Lord brought judgment upon Eli the priest because he allowed his sons to dishonor the Lord and “failed to restrain them” (1 Samuel 3:13). Children are a “heritage from the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). He places them in families and gives parents guidance in how they are to be raised. The goal of good parenting is to produce wise children who know and honor God with their lives. Proverbs 23:24 shows the end result of raising children according to God’s plan: “The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure to have children who are wise” (NLT). . . . . . Keith Muoki is a KJV bible believer who is saved by grace through faith in the blood of Jesus Christ. He lives in Nairobi, Kenya, and preaches every day on Spreaker.com Podcast, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Bitchute, Soundcloud, Twitter, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Google Podcast, Castbox, Deezer, Podcast Addict, Podchaser,...
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    11 分
  • What does it mean to be a godly mother?

    What does it mean to be a godly mother?
    2021/07/12
    A godly mother is a woman who represents the heart of Christ to her children. She is continually aware of her influence over their lives and futures and makes sacrifices whenever necessary for their welfare. Godly mothers are first godly women. They are not one way at home and another way in public. Even when her children do not have a godly father, a mother can have a great impact on her children’s spiritual future. The following are some characteristics of a godly mother: 1. She knows God. A godly mother wants her children to be godly, and she leads the way. A mother cannot pass on to her children values and qualities that she does not possess. So the first step in becoming a godly mother is surrendering to the lordship of Jesus. Only then is her soul restored (Psalm 23:3), her life recreated (2 Corinthians 5:17), and her mind renewed (Romans 12:2). 2. She understands her role in marriage and the family. As part of sin’s curse, women struggle with wanting to control their husbands (Genesis 3:16). But God decreed that husbands and fathers should carry the weight of responsibility for their families (1 Corinthians 11:3). A godly wife will gracefully bow to that leadership and model for her children godly submission to authority. Even when husbands and fathers are not worthy of such respect, godly mothers do not bad-mouth them to the children. Divorced or single mothers can be godly mothers as they teach their children of God’s plan for marriage and demonstrate purity and wisdom in their own dating relationships. 3. She does not neglect her own health and well-being. Often, we equate personal martyrdom with humility and service, but it need not be that way. Godly mothers model for their children healthy self-respect and boundaries. A godly mother knows that wearing herself out acting as a slave to her children is not good for anyone. She will give selflessly to her children, but she will also carve out time to rejuvenate herself because she knows that, if she is not healthy, her children will also suffer. 4. She seizes teachable moments to instill biblical truths. A godly mother is not so focused on meeting physical needs that she neglects her real calling, which is to raise future disciples of Christ (Ephesians 6:4; Proverbs 22:6). Because she walks in close harmony with God, she easily directs her children’s attention to His work in their lives. She may say to the three-year-old, “See that beautiful robin? God, who loves us, made that bird for us to enjoy. Thank you, God, for your beautiful birds.” She may say to her pre-teen, “Honey, I’m sorry you didn’t make the team. I know it hurts, but remember that God has something bigger in store for you as you trust Him with even this disappointment.” 5. She models service to God and others. Children need reminders that they were created for God, and serving Him is their highest calling (Colossians 1:16). A godly mother will demonstrate this in her own life as she involves her children in serving others. “Let’s finish this so we can make dinner for the Smith family. They’re going through a hard time, and we want to remind them that Jesus has not forgotten about them.” Acts 9:36–41 gives us a glimpse into the life of Tabitha, who was known for her good deeds. When she died, many townspeople brought out the garments she had made for them as evidence of her kindness. A godly mother leaves evidence of her kindness, and her children are proud of her reputation (see Matthew 5:16). 6. She has a healthy self-image. Many women in our culture struggle with low self-worth due to childhood wounds or comparison with others. A godly mother has learned to see herself as God sees her. Because of this, she can demonstrate to her children the way a godly woman should present herself. Godly mothers see themselves as active participants in God’s work; they don’t try to gain attention or a sense of worth through dress or behavior or relational status. First Peter 3:3–4 says, “Your beauty should...
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    14 分

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