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  • What does the Bible say about child marriage?

    What does the Bible say about child marriage?
    2021/08/16
    The definition of child has varied from culture to culture and century to century. Most modern-day countries declare that a child is of legal age to marry between 18 and 21. For some countries, the age may be as low as 15. In ancient Jewish culture, girls were considered marriageable after they had completed puberty, but boys were not considered men in the fullest sense until age 20. The book of Numbers reinforces the age of 20 for a man’s coming of age. Only the men 20 years old or more were counted as eligible to serve in the army (Numbers 1:18). Among the clans in the tribe of Levi, the Kohathites, Gershonites, and Merarites, men were not considered eligible for temple service until the age of 30 (Numbers 4:3, 23, 30). Levites who served as priests were eligible at the age of 25 (Numbers 8:24–26). Given these age requirements, it seems reasonable to assume that God did not hold those younger than 20 responsible for adult decision-making. Thus, it would follow that 20 was the earliest age at which a man could normally marry. Ezekiel 16 gives us a hint that a young woman was not considered ready for marriage until she had completed puberty. For some girls, that may have been 13 or 14, but for others puberty may not have been completed until age 16 or older. Ezekiel paints a picture of God’s relationship to His chosen people by comparing Israel with an orphaned girl in various stages of development. The Lord first sees her birth, then watches her grow up: “You grew and developed and entered puberty. Your breasts had formed and your hair had grown. . . . Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you” (Ezekiel 16:7–8). The metaphor hinges on the fact that it is only after a girl arrives at physical maturity, sometime after (not during) puberty, that she is “old enough to love,” i.e., that she is ready for marriage. However, the Bible does not state a particular marriageable age for either men or women. Much emphasis was given to a woman’s ability to conceive and bear children. Women were most likely younger than the men they married, perhaps even significantly so. A woman remained in her father’s household until marriage, and fathers considered it their responsibility to find suitable husbands for their daughters. Marriage was about more than just the couple getting married; it also had to do with preserving the familial tribes and making provision for future generations. Among royalty in many ancient cultures, including in Israel, marriage also had to do with agreements between countries, with women being given to kings as wives to indicate agreement between nations or rulers. For the typical family, marriage was about provision and procreation. The father was responsible for a daughter until her husband became the responsible party. Both fathers and suitors took this obligation seriously. The husband-to-be was to give a dowry to his bride’s family to demonstrate his commitment. We see an illustration of these traditions in the story of Jacob, Leah, and Rachel (Genesis 29:16–27). Jacob wanted to marry Rachel, and he worked without wages for her father for seven years as a dowry. But Rachel’s father, Laban, did not want his younger daughter to marry before the older. So he tricked Jacob and, on the wedding night, gave him Leah instead of Rachel. Laban also gave Rachel to Jacob in marriage a week later, for which he required Jacob to work an additional seven years. We also see in the account of Jairus’s daughter that a girl of 12 was still considered a little girl (Mark 5:21–43). Twice in this passage, the daughter is referred to as a “little girl” (verses 23, 41). So, even though she was most likely entering puberty, the daughter of Jairus was still considered a child and not ready for marriage. Marriage is a solemn commitment, and when the Bible speaks of it, it is always between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:7). The Greek...
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    11 分
  • What is the validity of marriage in today’s world?

    What is the validity of marriage in today’s world?
    2021/07/16
    “Marriage is a sucker’s bet.” “If you get married, you will regret it within five years.” “Don’t do it; the man you marry won’t be the same man you bury, because they change over time.” Such gloomy statements abound in a jaded world filled with marriage skeptics, and many young people are dismayed by such naysaying. Some may even shy away from pursuing marriage. But all the above statements are bad advice. Marriage is just as valid today as it ever was (Hebrews 13:4). The above cynical quotations are striking in their inherent selfishness. The advice they encapsulate would have merit only if marriage were intended solely to gratify one’s personal desires. But that is not the purpose of marriage. The marriage vow is not a lifetime commitment to be loved or to receive love. Marriage is a vow to give love. It is a promise to give love for life. It is a determination to live for the benefit of the other, to stand by and behind the other. To give and give and give and give, and then give some more—even life itself. Even more fundamentally, mankind did not invent marriage. God did. When God made humankind male and female and brought the first couple together in marriage, He had a purpose in mind. The most basic purpose was that marriage would produce more people who bear God’s name, reflect His image, and subdue the earth (Genesis 1:26–28 and 2:22–24). Further, to properly and fully reflect the image of God, mankind must be constituted of both men and women (Genesis 1:27). Male alone is not whole; neither is female. The proper reflection of God’s character in mankind requires both genders—man and woman united in marriage. Marriage is about much more than romantic bliss; it is about much more than the pleasure of sexual intercourse. The commitment of marriage is about fully reflecting God’s character, unity, and fellowship. This explains why the apostle Paul describes Christian marriage in such lofty spiritual terms as are found in Ephesians 5:22–33. It is not in discovering the most beautiful model or the most dashing knight that a good marriage is found. It’s in recognizing God’s prepared choice of the most suitable life partner—the one most compatible with God’s purposes and objectives—that the most truly satisfying marriage is built. Romance surely has its place and will be enjoyed in a godly marriage, but only as a fruit of a much deeper, stronger relationship. Yes, the honeymoon will end. Yes, both husband and wife will prove to be somewhat different from what they presented to each other while courting. Yes, sooner or later both spouses will be disappointed in something about one another. And, yes, trials will come, testing the strength of their vows. But none of that changes the fact that God had a good idea when He invented marriage. One element that the critics of marriage always miss is faith. Marriage and family are God’s institutions for mankind. If a Christian is truly walking with God, truly wanting God’s best for his or her spouse, truly wanting to further God’s plan for himself, for his spouse, and for the world, then he will not abandon the idea of marriage. It’s not about what we get out of marriage. It is not the takers of this world who find fulfillment, but the givers, those who by God’s grace emulate the self-sacrificial giving of Christ, thus growing in His image (Romans 8:28–30; Ephesians 4:20–24). A good marriage will cost everything we have. And, in that giving, we will find the highest meaning of life in Christ. None of this means that every believer must marry. God knows that it is better for some not to marry and that some situations make marriage undesirable. See 1 Corinthians 7. For those who do marry, it’s important to have an understanding of what God intends marriage to be. We should not allow the sad experiences and negativity of others to deter us from trusting God to give us marriages that truly exalt Him. A godly marriage can fulfill His purposes and provide a husband and wife a...
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    13 分
  • How should a Christian respond to being in a loveless marriage?

    How should a Christian respond to being in a loveless marriage?
    2021/07/16
    The term loveless marriage can describe several situations, ranging from a loss of initial feelings of love to the experience of violent abuse. (In the case of spousal abuse, the abused spouse should seek help through legal and emotionally supportive avenues. Physically removing oneself from the situation is often necessary while ongoing therapy takes place. An abused spouse should never resume living in the same house with a former abuser who has not proved his or her trustworthiness.) For the purposes of this article, we will define loveless marriage as one in which no physical abuse takes place but in which one or both spouses have lost all affection for each other and live as silent roommates. God’s design for marriage was revealed in the Garden of Eden when God created a woman for Adam and brought her to him as a helper (Genesis 2:21–24). The word translated “helper” comes from a Hebrew word that is also used in describing the help God gives (Exodus 18:4; Deuteronomy 33:26; Psalm 33:20). So a wife’s God-given role is to assist her husband in the tasks God has given him and provide support, wisdom, encouragement, and sometimes deliverance just as God gives us. The husband’s role is clearly laid out in Ephesians 5:25–33. Loving his wife is not a suggestion for a husband; it is a command. Any husband who is not working to display selfless, Christlike love toward his wife is in direct disobedience to God’s Word. If a husband fails to do this, his prayers will be hindered (1 Peter 3:7). Sometimes a loveless marriage is the result of being unequally yoked together with an unbeliever (see 2 Corinthians 6:14). The unbelieving spouse couldn’t care less about obedience to God’s Word. In those cases, the apostle Paul gives instruction: if the unbelieving spouse consents to remain in the marriage and is not abusive, the Christian should stay and demonstrate the love of Christ (1 Corinthians 7:12–16). The first fruit of the Holy Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22–23 is love. When we have no human love to offer, we can call upon the Lord and ask that the Holy Spirit love the spouse through us. It is doubtful that Jesus felt warm, emotional affection for the men who were nailing Him to a cross. Yet He asked the Father to forgive them, and He died for them anyway (Luke 23:33–34; Romans 5:8). Jesus’ demonstration of love can be an inspiration for us all, even in regards to our marriages. If counseling is available, loveless marriages can benefit from the wise, objective viewpoint of a biblical counselor (Proverbs 11:14; 15:22). Sometimes a marriage grows stale through neglect and ongoing, inconsiderate behaviors of which a couple may be unaware. An outside perspective can quickly spot problem areas and call attention to them. If the couple is willing to work, a loveless marriage can quickly return to loving. Even if one spouse refuses to cooperate with counseling, the willing spouse can benefit from going alone. An objective viewpoint can sometimes help one spouse see things differently and therefore respond in better ways to the unloving spouse. Like a rock thrown into a pond, changes thrown into dysfunctional cycles create new patterns of response. Here is an example of the way one spouse can change the course of a loveless marriage: if Sue no longer screams at John when he is rude, he must react to her gentle response in a different way than he has previously done. Instead of escalating the anger, he scales back his boorish behavior to match her more mature attitude. Her quiet smile and refusal to engage showcase his own selfishness, and he often responds with less hostility. The fight cycle is interrupted, and a new cycle begins with less stress and more kindness (Proverbs 15:1). Over time, that new, healthier cycle can evolve into affection, and the couple learns to enjoy each other once more. There are several things a Christian can do to reinvest in a loveless marriage: 1. Set healthy boundaries. Learn when to walk away,...
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    16 分
  • Why does he who finds a wife obtain favor from the Lord?

    Why does he who finds a wife obtain favor from the Lord?
    2021/07/16
    The book of Proverbs is featured in the Bible’s “Wisdom Literature.” It contains practical guidelines and moral principles for developing sound character and making wise and beneficial decisions in life. Various topics are explored within Proverbs, including marriage and family. One such tenet for wise men suggests that “he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22, ESV). It’s important to understand that the proverbs are not meant as divine promises or guarantees. These maxims are general principles. Both positive and negative statements about wives appear in Proverbs. For example, Proverbs 19:13 remarks that “a quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof.” Proverbs 25:24 sagely warns that it’s “better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Further stressing the point, Proverbs 21:19 says that it’s “better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.” On the other hand, “a prudent wife is from the LORD,” says Proverbs 19:14. So, we can be confident that Proverbs 18:22 implies that He who finds a good wife obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 12:4 confirms, “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” In Hebrew, the wording of Proverbs 18:22 is strikingly similar to that of Proverbs 8:35: “For those who find me find life and receive favor from the LORD.” Me in this verse refers to wisdom, suggesting that, after wisdom itself, the finest of God’s blessings is an excellent wife. Proverbs 31:10 makes a parallel analogy: “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies” (cf. Proverbs 8:11). So, he who finds a wife obtains favor from the Lord, but the inference is that not just any and every wife will bring favor from Yahweh. Ecclesiastes, another biblical book of wisdom literature, makes this point abundantly clear: “I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare” (Ecclesiastes 7:26). Proverbs 14:1 warns that “the wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” A prudent, God-fearing wife is a treasure, an excellent thing for a man to find. Proverbs 31:10–31 elaborates on the blessings of a wife of noble character. This passage is an acrostic poem extolling the value of a virtuous wife. The poem’s opening question emphasizes the rarity of a virtuous woman and implies that, if a man finds such a wife for himself, he will have obtained great favor from the Lord, for “she is worth far more than rubies” (verse 10). The woman described in Proverbs 31 is trustworthy, capable, intelligent, diligent, generous, and kind, bringing her husband goodness and blessings her whole life long (verses 11–15). The virtuous wife, bringing favor from the Lord, is both wise and humble, strong and gentle. Through her judicious business dealings, forward thinking, competence, tireless work, and strength of character, she enhances the family’s dignity, adds esteem to her husband’s reputation, and is deeply loved by her entire household (Proverbs 31:16–28). For these reasons, her children call her blessed, and her husband praises her, saying, “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” (verse 29, NLT). Above all else, this is a woman who loves and fears the Lord (verse 30). A man who finds a wife of such extraordinary worth most certainly obtains favor from the Lord. . . . . Keith believes that we are saved only once (Hebrews 9:12) by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9) in the finished work of Jesus Christ at the cross (John 19:30) and we can NOT lose our free (Romans 5:15) God given Salvation (John 6:39). This is because our salvation is based purely on faith in the gospel (1 Corinthians 15:1-4) and not on any of our fleshly works of...
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    11 分