• Questions About Relationships

  • 著者: Keith Muoki
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Questions About Relationships

著者: Keith Muoki
  • サマリー

  • We often receive questions along the lines of: "I am interested in two different guys...which one should I choose to be my boyfriend?" Or, "I am in a relationship and my girlfriend did/said '_____'; so, should I break up with her?" These types of questions are very difficult for us to answer. GotQuestions.org is not a Christian relationship advice ministry. We will always strive to tell you what the Bible has to say about a given situation. However, in regards to relationship advice issues, the Bible rarely specifically addresses the situations we are asked about. The Bible is far more concerned with our relationship with God. We are very reluctant to give relationship advice. It is difficult to give wise counsel to a personal issue through an article. It is exceedingly difficult to give Christian relationship advice when we do not personally know the people involved, we are not receiving all of the details, and/or we are only receiving one side of the story. We do not presume to speak for God in giving authoritative relationship advice to Christians. With that said, what is our advice? It is our advice that you speak with God about your relationship. Pray to the Lord, asking Him to clearly reveal to you what He would have you do (Philippians 4:6-7). Ask God to give you wisdom and discernment (James 1:5). God promises to grant prayer requests that are asked according to His will (1 John 5:14-15). Being wise and discerning are most definitely God’s will. God wants you to make good relationship decisions. God desires Christians to be joyous and edified as a result of their relationships. If you ask God with an open heart and humble spirit, He will give you the relationship advice you need. Finally, find wise counsel with mature Christians who have been married for many years and have walked with God all that time. Seek guidance from your pastor, elders or other mature church leaders. Their years of experience enable them to speak from wisdom and the knowledge of God in their lives.
    Copyright Keith Muoki
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あらすじ・解説

We often receive questions along the lines of: "I am interested in two different guys...which one should I choose to be my boyfriend?" Or, "I am in a relationship and my girlfriend did/said '_____'; so, should I break up with her?" These types of questions are very difficult for us to answer. GotQuestions.org is not a Christian relationship advice ministry. We will always strive to tell you what the Bible has to say about a given situation. However, in regards to relationship advice issues, the Bible rarely specifically addresses the situations we are asked about. The Bible is far more concerned with our relationship with God. We are very reluctant to give relationship advice. It is difficult to give wise counsel to a personal issue through an article. It is exceedingly difficult to give Christian relationship advice when we do not personally know the people involved, we are not receiving all of the details, and/or we are only receiving one side of the story. We do not presume to speak for God in giving authoritative relationship advice to Christians. With that said, what is our advice? It is our advice that you speak with God about your relationship. Pray to the Lord, asking Him to clearly reveal to you what He would have you do (Philippians 4:6-7). Ask God to give you wisdom and discernment (James 1:5). God promises to grant prayer requests that are asked according to His will (1 John 5:14-15). Being wise and discerning are most definitely God’s will. God wants you to make good relationship decisions. God desires Christians to be joyous and edified as a result of their relationships. If you ask God with an open heart and humble spirit, He will give you the relationship advice you need. Finally, find wise counsel with mature Christians who have been married for many years and have walked with God all that time. Seek guidance from your pastor, elders or other mature church leaders. Their years of experience enable them to speak from wisdom and the knowledge of God in their lives.
Copyright Keith Muoki
エピソード
  • Is the age of consent a biblical concept?
    2021/08/18
    Age of consent is a legal term that refers to the age at which a person can legally agree to marriage or sexual activity. The age of consent varies from country to country, and in the United States it varies from state to state. The age of consent in Nigeria is 11, whereas the legal age of consent in South Korea is 20. Islamic law puts the age of consent at 9, but only within the confines of marriage. In the United States, the age of consent ranges from 16 to 18. The median age of consent worldwide is 16. Sexual relations with someone under the age of consent is considered statutory rape, and the offender may be prosecuted regardless of whether or not the act was consensual. Age of consent is not a biblical term, but laws establishing an age of consent reflect a biblically supported desire to protect children. In the Hebrew culture of biblical times, the expectation of maturity came quite early in life. Boys at the age of 13 usually began apprenticeships with older male relatives as they learned a trade. Once a girl had passed puberty, she was considered marriageable and could be betrothed to an older man who could provide for her (betrothal being different from actual marriage). When ancient Israel took a census or called for men to form an army, the minimum age was 20 (Numbers 1:3; Exodus 30:14; 2 Chronicles 25:5). The purpose for age of consent laws is to protect the innocence and immaturity of children. Sexual activity is a life-altering event, one that God designed to consummate a lifelong commitment in marriage (Genesis 2:24; 1 Corinthians 7:39). The age of consent also helps protect children from sexual predators who want to exploit them. In fact, campaigns against human trafficking have historically pushed for a higher age of consent as a means of protecting vulnerable youth and encouraging social stability. Age of consent laws give governments more power to arrest predators and stop the exploitation of minors. While the Bible does not define an age of consent, the concept is biblical. Sex should never be forced (that is, non-consensual), and those at risk of exploitation must be protected. It is biblical to restrain the actions of pedophiles, prevent the victimization of children, and deter sexual abuse in general. Age of consent laws help do all of that. Parents have a responsibility to prepare their children for marriage and sexual expression that honors God. Ephesians 6:4 tells parents to “bring [children] up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” When God’s plan for sexual purity is valued within the family, a child can grow up knowing that the age of consent is that moment in adulthood when he or she has the wisdom to choose a spouse “for better or worse.” www.keithmuoki.com
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    6 分
  • Is it wrong to have a crush on someone?
    2021/07/21
    There he/she is! In a room full of people, the only person you see is this dream of a person. Your heart races, palms sweat, mouth goes dry, and you simultaneously long for and dread an actual encounter. You have a crush. Are such feelings wrong? Is it appropriate to crush on someone? A crush, or an infatuation, can be intense, but, blessedly, it does not usually last long. We start developing crushes in preschool, and they can continue sporadically throughout adulthood. Most people are subject to them, yet no one can fully explain why we zero in on one particular person while disregarding the rest. Pheromones, physical attractiveness, and the way someone smells, laughs, or smiles can all play roles in creating a crush. The feelings accompanying a crush can be overpowering. Crushes need to be distinguished from real love. A crush may begin the same way as love, but love moves past physical and emotional attraction to a point of sacrificial service. It was not for a crush that God sent His Son to die; it was because of real love (John 3:16; 10:11; 1 John 4:9). A crush is an emotional response to something we find attractive about another person, while love makes a steadfast commitment to that person’s welfare (1 Corinthians 13:4–8). We can develop crushes on people we don’t even know, such as celebrities, public figures, or teachers. The internet has provided a new source of crushing as cyber-relationships ignite and our only contact with people is through a screen. The teen years are especially crush-prone. Hormones are running wild, and bodies are in various stages of maturity. We are not always aware of the differences between love and a passionate crush, especially when we’re young, so we are prone to leap headfirst into romances or sexual liaisons that leave lifelong wounds. Having a crush is not wrong as long as we do not allow ourselves to make sinful choices because of a crush. Crushes are an inevitable part of being human, so we should recognize them for what they are and not base decisions on those feelings. We must guard against allowing innocent crushes to become sexual fantasies. Jesus said, “I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). When we fantasize about acting on something God calls sin, we are already sinning in our hearts (Colossians 3:5; 1 Corinthians 6:18; Romans 1:26–27). Keeping a crush under control is important: “A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls” (Proverbs 25:28, NLT). The Bible gives us an example of someone who was so controlled by his crushes that it eventually cost him his life (Judges 14:1–2). Samson was chosen by God to be set apart for ministry (Judges 13:2–5). However, he forfeited much that God wanted to do through him because he allowed his crushes to determine his actions. If we study what he did wrong, we can avoid the same pitfalls. First of all, Samson made it a practice to party with the pagans. He was flirting in places he should never have been. His second mistake was in not recognizing his own weaknesses. He was attracted to seductive, ungodly women, and, instead of guarding himself (Romans 13:14), he indulged that weakness. Third, he did not learn from his mistakes (Judges 16:1–4). He mistook lust-based crushes for God-honoring love over and over again, and it cost him everything (Judges 16:21, 29–30). We can save ourselves much pain if we avoid Samson’s mistakes. As Christians, we are to do everything for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). As we deal with crushes, we should do so to God’s glory. We start by being honest with the Lord about our feelings, as the psalmists were (Psalm 6:6; 38:9). We ask Him to help us keep our thoughts pure and our actions pleasing to Him (Psalm 19:14). We can also pray for that person we are so attracted to. Ask that he or she would seek the Lord and that God would accomplish His purpose in that individual. If the crush is...
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    16 分
  • How should a Christian view long-distance relationships?
    2021/07/21
    Long-distance relationships can be difficult, but they also have the potential to strengthen the bond between the parties if each is committed to the relationship. Access to the internet makes long-distance relationships much easier than they used to be. We now have the option of utilizing FaceTime, Skype, or a host of other real-time apps that allow us to see and hear each other as though we’re in the same room. The internet has also opened the doorway to meeting people from distant places, and some of those meetings result in long-distance relationships. There are both positive and negative aspects of a long-distance relationship, and we will explore a few of those. Christians understand the complexity and frustrations of long-distance relationships better than most because, in a sense, we are in a long-distance relationship with Jesus. Although His Spirit is always with us, we still long to see Him face to face (1 Corinthians 13:12). Paul expressed the heart’s desire of every true follower of Christ when he wrote, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body” (Philippians 1:21–24). Christians should exercise caution in entering a long-distance relationship with a stranger. Jesus instructed His followers to be “wise as serpents and innocent as doves” as we navigate this deceitful world (Matthew 10:16). While many people have found true love through dating sites and chat rooms, many others have been entangled in a nightmare. Caution reminds us that someone can type anything on the internet, knowing there is no way the statements can be validated. Despite how charming a person seems to be online, we don’t actually know him or her. Even between friends well-known to each other, a long-distance romance carries risks. There is a potential for each or both of them to find someone else nearby. The old adage is often true: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder—for somebody else.” Human beings crave intimacy, and if a long-distance relationship is not meeting that need, the temptation to end it for another romance is always present. Affairs are commonplace in long-distance marriages due to this intimacy deficit. For that reason, married Christians who cannot be physically present with their spouses need to guard their hearts and “make no provision for the flesh and its lusts” (Romans 13:14). We make provision for the flesh when we fan the flame of unmet desires and place ourselves in situations where those desires cannot be met except through sin. Another drawback to a long-distance relationship is that, without proximity, we cannot see behavior in various settings. He may be wonderful on FaceTime, but how does he treat the waitress at the restaurant? How does she respond when angry—and what makes her angry? How does he interact with his family members? Some important aspects of a relationship simply cannot be known without spending time in someone’s presence. On a positive note, long-distance relationships offer the opportunity to focus on heart-to-heart communication without the distractions of everyday life. Military couples experience this when one of them is deployed. Although the separation is painful, they can cherish the times they get to spend together. They don’t take each other for granted or get bored of each other’s company. They can develop new ways to create spiritual and emotional intimacy while deprived of physical closeness. For unmarried couples, a long-distance relationship also helps guard against sexual temptation by minimizing the opportunities for it (1 Corinthians 6:18). Christians should evaluate long-distance relationships as they would any other relationship. If the relationship is not centered on a commitment to Christ, it is not a...
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    9 分

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