Randle in the Wind

Goodbye Randle P,

though you were an annoying shit,

Your feet stank like a sewer,

But you were my only mate.

You did a wanky podcast,

with barely 20 people listening, 

Gone now but not forgotten,

Now the Chip shops had to close.

And it seems to me you lived your life

chatting Loads and loads of shit,

only stopping every now and then,

to scoff a Toffee Crisp.

Your farts where legendary,

but they didn’t stink,

Randle fucked off long before,

His legend ever did.

You always used to watch,

Richard Osman’s House of Games, 

Every night you played along,

and you always fucking lost.

The Council binned your clothing,

Judith nicked all of your valuables, 

And your Mums not that arsed,

That you’ve sank without a trace.

And it seems to me you lived your life,

chatting loads and loads of shit,

only stopping every now and then,

to scoff a Toffee Crisp.

Your farts where legendary,

but they didn’t stink,

Randle fucked off long before,

His legend ever did.

Goodbye Randle P,

You once dropped your guts so loud, 

it rattled people’s windows,

Over eight streets away.

Goodbye Randle P,

I reported your sudden disappearance, 

To the appropriate authorities,

But they just laughed and laughed.

And it seems to me you lived your life,

chatting loads and loads of shit,

only stopping every now and then,

to scoff a Toffee Crisp.

Your farts where legendary,

but they didn’t stink,

Randle fucked off long before,

His legend ever did.

Randle fucked off long before

His legend ever did.