Bad weather isn’t just outside us; it can also be in the relationship and destroy it from the inside. Agreeing on a strategy, or a plan to deal with the bad weather helps us more quickly get on the path to the life of the relationship we want!

“I think that in couples, there are those that take the time to invest and pre plan my life, and then there are many who are flying by the seat of their pants. Sometimes the results are fabulous… sometimes they are not.”

Dealing with things as they come up is a planned-out process. How do we reduce the casualty in the fall out. Often what works in business works in relationships. You cannot wing your relationship.

Have a bigger vision of what you want your relationship to be. It helps us get back on track. Your honeymoon doesn’t last forever. Awareness of what each other is feeling, and awareness of surroundings & acting upon it in a loving way.

Gratitude is a powerful piece neurologically. When you’re in a state of gratitude, it’s impossible to be angry. It’s about being aware of the good and the bad, creating a vision about the quality of the relationship you wish to have, and developing strategies for when things are going both great, or in crises. And don’t forget to celebrate!

Drama & Conflict in Your Relationship

3 Steps for Better Feelings

D is for Defensiveness – Gottman

Where Do You Set Your Cruise Control?

Dan & Carol: website | facebook | linkedIn - dan | linkedin - carol

Relationship mentors are everywhere. They display examples of what others are doing on approaches we can choose to apply to, damage, or to enhance our relationships. That’s the point of creating Relationships by Design!

The sense of community is huge! One bigger than your family unit is critical. It shapes you; it gives support and adds to your life. Be really present and notice. Noticing the people around us and what they do, they model relationships for us all the time. Sit back & notice people’s interactions at a party and reflect!

So how can we eliminate the blame, so we can live without it? It’d be such an easier and better world! Take time to really appreciate. Stop to reflect & be grateful for what you have. It is hard if you’re stuck inside yourself - reframe the blame!

“I want every moment to be just so filled with love and joy. I want to be that kind of person that my grandkids want to come and be around me, my children too… That people enjoy being around me.”

There are people that brighten the room when they enter, and people that do the opposite. There’s power in reflecting back, what’s worked for you and what have been some of those challenges? What steps are you taking to commit in making a change?

Reframe Your Blame – Jay Fiset

Heart of Relationships

Vision, Mission, Values  

Conflict & Drama In Your Relationship (the Dreaded Drama

Triangle)

Dan & Carol: website | facebook | linkedIn - dan | linkedin - carol

Have you had a time when you attempted to engage with your partner and been unsuccessful? Do you argue or disagree about the same things repeatedly? You’re definitely not alone here!

Use invitations to invite the other person in - it’s not implied both parties are always on the same page. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Which means listening!

“In order to build healthy relationships, it takes engagement. None of us are mind readers for the other person unless we ask each other.”

 Here’s a great exercise - be open to what your partner is saying, have a neutral look and be engaged, yet not say a word during that agreed upon time frame. Then switch! There’s great value there! It’s so important to repair than to put the issue to the side and never deal with it. If we keep hiding it, it’ll eventually come out in a way we probably don’t want it to. Setting aside time to listen is so important in repair.

 It’s a continual and consistent process!

The Two Gottman Ideas You Should Be Talking About - Gottman

Drama & Conflict In Your Relationship?

Gratitude Rituals

My Partner Refuses To Argue – How Can We Talk About The Big Stuff?

Dan & Carol: website | facebook | linkedIn - dan | linkedin - carol