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Shame is set up in childhood. Life is unfair. Yep.

The presence of shame is a particularly powerful driver for sexual addiction. Shame means “to hide” and is a hidden companion of Narcissism.

SHAME + NARCISSISM = SEX ADDICTION

Shame is the painful feeling of being unacceptable. It is a feeling of being inferior. It is “a wound made from the inside by an unseen hand”. There is something about “Attachment” issues and what happened as a child with the main caregiver.

It comes from a core belief about self and a feeling (which is not necessarily true at all – but is believed and acted upon). Shame disrupts the natural functioning of the self. Shame emerges out of addiction. Shame causes addiction and compulsivity. It says: “I am not measuring up”.

There is a diminished self-concept; a lowering of one’s self worth. There is a difference between Guilt & Shame. Guilt says: “I made a mistake”. Shame says: “I am not measuring up; not good enough; not accepting of self; I am a mistake”.

Someone once said that shame is to sex addiction what oxygen is to fire. Shame is perhaps the most damaging consequence of sex addiction as it robs people of the power to seek the support and love of others that they so desperately need.

Shame can drive people further into their self-destructive behaviours as they increasingly feel this is all they deserve. Shame isolates and drives the behaviour deeper and deeper into secrecy. The antidote, is to come out of hiding - with some help - into the 'right' arena.

Do the SHIELDS Exercise with The Kairos Centre, to make SHAME visible and touchable.

Give a little to my fund raising page here, to help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentre

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp

The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |