PREVIEW:

It's a challenging  time to be a kid and a challenging time to be a parent, and it's even more challenging to parent a child when there is conflict and discord in the parenting relationship. 

In this episode of the SKYlights Podcast, Senior Clinical Therapist Kirsten Bolt, MED, LMFT helps us understand the effects of parent conflict on kids, provides tangible tips for families navigating co-parenting, and outlines what Open Sky can do to help both parents and children communicate more effectively and build stronger relationships.

GUEST PROFILE:

KIRSTEN BOLT, MED, LMFT

Kirsten Bolt  is a Senior Clinical Therapist at Open Sky. Passionate about working with adolescent girls, Kirsten emphasizes emotional regulation, assertive communication, identity development, vulnerability, and healthy relationships in her treatment approach. She incorporates humor and playfulness into all she does and quickly develops strong therapeutic relationships with her students and families.

As a family therapist, Kirsten is skilled in clarifying complicated systemic issues and helping formulate a concrete diagnostic assessment. She is supportive of parents who might need extra coaching due to anxiety, grief, and other personal struggles. With her firm and direct approach, Kirsten confronts presenting issues and holds students and families accountable to their therapeutic work, while circumventing the shame that can interfere with progress.

TOPICS COVERED: Conflict, Co-Parenting, Discord In Relationship, Divorce Parenting, Parenting

00:00 Intro

02:09 Challenges faced by parents experiencing discord with a child in treatment

05:03 Healthy conflict

07:10 The effects of parent conflict on kids

11:10 What can parents work on to support themselves and their child?

14:40 The impacts of progress on a child in treatment

17:00 When the other parent is not yet ready

20:04 Other tips for parents

SELECT QUOTES:

“It's a hard time to be a kid, and it's a hard time to be a parent, and it's even harder to be parenting a child when there's conflict and discord in the parenting relationship.”

“And it's normal to have conflict in a relationship. Relationships need conflict to break through topics that are challenging.”

“My experience is we're all doing our best at any given time, and we get flooded and we have hurts and we have pains in the past, and it sometimes trumps our ability to be the best versions of ourselves. When the stress increases, our ability to be our best selves decreases…and what so often happens is the kids feel that stress.”

“There is absolutely truth in trying to focus on your child and trying to remember that your child is half you and half their other parent. And when we talk negatively about the other parent, kids inherently hear that as talking negatively about themselves.”

“It’s going to help you be the best parent that you can, which most of us want to be.”

“Seeing the healing that can come from strengthening those bonds where they had been so broken is just truly remarkable and inspiring.” 

PREVIEW:

The world is becoming more open when it comes to inclusivity surrounding gender and sexuality. At the same time, many young people in the LGBTQ+ community are still struggling with mental health issues; higher rates of suicide; and lack of acceptance among family, friends, and society. In this episode the SKYlights Podcast, Mariah Loftin, MA, LPC, Clinical Director and Senior Clinical Therapist, discusses why this issue is at the forefront of our minds, some sobering statistics that highlight the importance of providing support for LGBTQ+ individuals, challenges for family and friends, as well as how to create safe spaces for th LGBTQ+ community.  

GUEST PROFILE:

MARIAH LOFTIN, MA, LPC

Mariah Loftin, MA, LPC, Clinical Director and Senior Clinical Therapist, joined Open Sky in 2012 and has been an integral member of the clinical team ever since. As Clinical Director, Mariah leads Open Sky’s treatment team in delivering a transformative therapeutic experience for students and families. She is attuned to the evolving needs of the Open Sky community and is known for her passion and skill for leadership and development. Mariah skillfully blends her background as a psychotherapist, behavior analyst, and art therapist to build deep and positive connections with students and parents while supporting the family system through change. She is recognized by clients and peers for her positive nature, open personality, and tenacious dedication.

TOPICS COVERED: Awareness, Communication, Connection, Gender, Inclusive Language, Inclusivity, LGBTQ, Mental Health, Pronouns, Sexuality

00:00 Intro

02:25 Awareness around gender and sexuality

05:19 Mental health issues in the LGBTQ+ community

07:39 How parents can support their LGBTQ+ children

09:52 Where parents can get support

10:30 Fears and challenges parents may face

12:20 Creating safe and inclusive spaces

14:24 Inclusive language

17:50 How does support affect LGBTQ+ youth?

21:00 Working with LGBTQ+ youth at Open Sky

24:05 Fostering connection

SELECT QUOTES:

“When people start to live in this brave, open sharing way, particularly about their gender and sexuality, I think this more visible way of being in the world, it gives people examples of how they can actually belong. How they can be themselves. And so of course, just like tattoos, we see it with TVs, movies, magazines in our communities. We look around and we see diverse ways that people are showing up, people are expressing themselves, and I think we're seeing more examples. So that's notable, how we see evidence of it in our communities.”

“Parents can really struggle with different feelings. It might be hard to let go of particular expectations that they had of who their child was going to be, how their child was going to grow up and live out their life. And in that, parents need a lot of support in order to go through their own process. And I think it's relevant that parents have room to feel their own emotions too. “

“It's important to just start trying. And you're going to make mistakes and you can acknowledge them, you can apologize and then move forward. And so I think the first part is to educate yourself on what individuals are identifying? How do they actually identify for themselves? How do they feel comfortable in themselves? What is the best expression for themself? That to me is an important part of establishing connection and communication and also establishing, ‘Hey, I care, I'm paying attention.’”

“I think if a child sees their parents and family members as people who are accepting and supportive that it allows them to really step into their whole selves because they know they have their family behind them. And I think that allows them to authentically express who they are.”

PREVIEW:

Disordered eating—different from eating disorders—is a condition we're seeing more and more often at Open Sky. While eating disorders may be more commonly understood in our society, disordered eating is less well known. In this episode of the SKYlights Podcast, Senior Clinical Therapist Kirsten Bolt, MED, LMFT helps us better understand this topic, especially as it relates to youth. Kirsten explores the rise of disordered eating; its impacts on physical, emotional, mental, and relational health; how she works with students to build awareness and create change; and what concerned parents can do to approach this topic with their children.

GUEST PROFILE:

KIRSTEN BOLT, MED, LMFT

Kirsten Bolt  is a Senior Clinical Therapist at Open Sky. Passionate about working with adolescent girls, Kirsten emphasizes emotional regulation, assertive communication, identity development, vulnerability, and healthy relationships in her treatment approach. She incorporates humor and playfulness into all she does and quickly develops strong therapeutic relationships with her students and families.

As a family therapist, Kirsten is skilled in clarifying complicated systemic issues and helping formulate a concrete diagnostic assessment. She is supportive of parents who might need extra coaching due to anxiety, grief, and other personal struggles. With her firm and direct approach, Kirsten confronts presenting issues and holds students and families accountable to their therapeutic work, while circumventing the shame that can interfere with progress.

TOPICS COVERED:

00:00 Intro

01:57 Why do we need to talk more about disordered eating?

04:22 The difference between disordered eating and eating disorders

07:02 Disordered eating patterns

09:23 How parents can understand more

12:01 The impact of disordered eating on day-to-day life

15:27 Co-occuring mental health issues

16:25 Causes of disordered eating

20:22 The role society plays in disordered eating

23:13 What can parents do?

26:06 Kirsten’s therapeutic approach

SELECT QUOTES:

“As we see some of the disordered eating patterns take hold, anxiety can increase, depression can increase, which again, can further complicate the relational factors. And so isolation can increase, kids can then start picking up some other unhealthy patterns. They might find themselves engaging in self injury or substance use. There can be other behavioral patterns that they pick up as well. It can also affect one's executive functioning skills, which affects school and affects vocation and work. I would say that mental health and emotional health tolls exacerbate everything.”

“I think we so commonly think about disordered eating, we think eating disorders, we think of anorexia, we think of girls. And it's just not that. There are so many people that are struggling with this. It’s across all populations and demographics.”

“I think this is something that people are utilizing as a means to cope and manage their emotions. Sometimes it’s about, ‘This is something I can control where everything else in my life feels out of control, and I feel powerless.’ I think that’s a huge  contributor.” 

“Food is a way we come together as family and friends. There's a lot to celebrate about food and as with everything, there can be that double-edged sword.”

“It’s a starting point to be able to ask direct questions. It conveys, ‘I see you, I’m paying attention, and I care.’ These are really important messages for our kids.”

“So much of our work out here is helping create awareness and helping create internal motivation for change.”

PREVIEW:

Open Sky works with many teens and young adults who may be resistant to traditional talk therapy. In this episode of SKYlights, Clinical Therapist Mark Sobel, LCSW discusses what treatment resistance means, how it shows up in the students he works with, the power of wilderness therapy to help young people heal and grow, and what parents can do to care for themselves while connecting with their children.

GUEST PROFILE:

MARK SOBEL, LCSW

Mark Sobel is a Clinical Therapist at Open Sky. Mark builds on more than a decade of prior experience working with children, adolescents, and families. Mark approaches his work with families with deep care and empathy, informed by his holistic understanding that treatment is a continuum and the journey for parents can often feel long and challenging. Compassion and authenticity are his cornerstone values, as he knows that growth requires both discomfort and hope. Drawn to Open Sky’s humanistic philosophy and family-focused approach, Mark’s goal is to help families harness the skills necessary to make real, lasting change while supporting his client’s growth towards self-actualization.

TOPICS COVERED: Treatment Resistance, Therapy, Therapy Resistance, Student Therapy, Counseling, Adolescents, Parenting

00:00 Intro

01:51 What is treatment resistance?

03:50 How treatment resistance shows up

07:00 Creating an experience of connection and interest

13:30 Resistant behavior and self-protection

15:20 The power of wilderness therapy

18:00 The parent experience, self-care, and fostering curiosity

21:04 Responding to a resistant student

SELECT QUOTES:

“I think oftentimes that resistance is self-protective because it's steeped in this belief of, ‘Why am I going to open up when my experience is that other people don't actually consider my experience valid?’”

“Patience can be really difficult, especially for parents to create and hold that space. The important thing is to not get on the emotional roller coaster with the student, which is so much easier said than done. The idea of being curious and being emotionally detached. The goal is to be with someone while they're in pain, not be in their pain with them.”

“I think it doesn't really matter how big your toolkit is unless you can slow down enough to realize, ‘I am completely caught up in my child's experience. I need to look down at what tools are at my disposal.’ So I think practicing what your child is practicing, which is so much of it, is mindfulness.”

“The reason that someone won't share their experience with you or they close off isn't because they don't want to, it's because they think you won't listen or they think that you'll twist their words. But as soon as they know, “I'm gonna be heard,” people open the floodgates because it's a human need.”

Resources:

• https://www.openskywilderness.com/
• https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/skylights/id1463239577

PREVIEW:

As early adolescents transition from childhood to adolescence, hormones emerge, body chemistry changes, and social and academic pressures increase.They might experience uncertainty about who they are and feel a natural desire to differentiate from their parents. Add the stressors of the modern world, and it's no wonder that so many early adolescents struggle to navigate the stage in their lives. In this episode of the SKYlights Podcast, Clinical Therapist Julia Lehr, MSSW, LCSW, AMFT discusses the unique needs of early adolescents, the pressures this population is under, her therapeutic approach, and how parents can cultivate greater connection with their children. 

GUEST PROFILE:

JULIA LEHR, MSSW, LCSW, AMFT

Julia Lehr, MSSW, LCSW, AMFT  is a Clinical Therapist working with early adolescents and their families at Open Sky. Fueled by her passions for family therapy and the healing elements of nature, Julia has supported students in families in a variety of roles within the field of wilderness therapy. As a systemic therapist, Julia works to expand the client system to include families and partners to increase progress towards treatment goals and create lasting change. With a background in teaching yoga, she incorporates mindfulness and breathing techniques into her sessions to promote grounding experiences as well as to support clients in increasing awareness of their external and internal worlds.

TOPICS COVERED: Adolescence, change, childhood, development, early adolescence, parent and child connection, puberty, self care, social media, therapy

00:00 Intro

02:02 Early adolescence

04:20 Typical behaviors

06:36 Kids change – and that’s okay

07:24 Connection, feedback, and communication

10:14 Behaviors and underlying emotions

11:44 Animal-assisted therapy and Ezra

14:35 Common needs that early adolescents seek out

16:03 Trying new things

17:03 Isolation, connection, and the role of parents

20:42 Impact of society on early adolescents

26:12 Advice for parents

27:47 When to seek help

29:58 Opportunities instead of mistakes

SELECT QUOTES:

“We all change throughout life. We have different interests that develop, things that we're gravitating more to, but as parents are seeing their kids change, it can sometimes be alarming to them of, ‘Wait, I thought I knew this person and now they're doing this other thing, and now their favorite color isn't what it was,” and that's totally okay. We all change and there's a variety of different benefits that they can gain from experiencing the world.”

“They really want to share what's going on for them, and sometimes they're doing that in ways that we can’t actually understand what's going on. So what I really work with students is what's going on for you, identifying that, and then being able to speak to it and share in a way that's clear for other people, and then they feel heard.” 

“Because it is not easy being a parent at all. And as you are going through a transition, there's the transition for the children into early adolescence, and then there's also a transition for parents. And so any time we're having a transition in our lives, it's really important to ground through self-care.”

“We can address these behaviors. We can address these experiences now so that we don't have to have increased suffering as they go into adolescence and young adulthood. We can actually decrease that suffering now. And so then they can make the choices and they don't have as many experiences to reflect back on to continue to heal.” 

“I think for parents, it's a really tough time, and it can make them feel like they're making so many mistakes. ‘Oh, I should have done it this way or that way, and I should have done it differently.’ And I think reframing those mistakes as, ‘Oh, I'm taking an opportunity to learn and grow as a parent.’ And that's totally okay.”

PREVIEW:

An athlete may be winning trophies and medals, but sometimes we don’t know that they can be losing a silent battle that they don’t even talk about. Some athletes live up to expectations placed by other people and get pressured to push harder or else everyone will be disappointed at them. But if they don’t prioritize their own mental health, how do we expect them to keep winning? In this episode, clinical therapist Chris Blankenship talks about the mental health challenges some athletes go through, the reason why some athletes decide to get treatment, and a message to the parents of athletes. 

GUEST PROFILE:

CHRIS BLANKENSHIP, MSW, LCSW

Chris Blankenship is a Senior Clinical Therapist who works with transition-age young adults and their families at Open Sky. Chris’ clear and direct therapeutic approach helps students deepen their understanding of their presenting issues as well as the underlying processes resulting in these symptoms. Using evidence-based treatment modalities, Chris provides direct and supportive techniques that help families to understand not just their child, but their entire family system. He strives to help his young adults stabilize, to give them the tools necessary for growth, and to provide a sophisticated assessment for future treatment options to effect positive change and growth.

TOPICS COVERED: Athlete, Expectations, Mental Health, Sports, Substance, Therapy

00:00 Intro

01:55 What makes athletes prone to mental health challenges?

05:09 The stigma around mental health treatment for athletes

07:00 Increased awareness of the importance of mental health treatment

08:13 Burnout, substance use, and other challenges

10:55 Expectations and pressure

14:13 Treating different types of athletes

17:06 Transitioning athletics to life

21:55 Finding direction (navigating new stage of life)

25:30 Athletics and family dynamics

SELECT QUOTES:

“Sports are innately a win or lose game.You're striving all day every day, to be the best at something, to vanquish your opponent. That kind of stress is going to lead to a lot of extra work. It's also going to lead to occasional failure, which puts you under a lot of pressure. I think with student athletes, they’re also under pressure to be students.”

There are actually a lot of studies that suggest that athletes participating in mental health treatment is significantly more likely to happen if they're being encouraged by their family or their friends. And it's really not that likely to occur if they're being encouraged by coaches or teammates, because those are the people that they're actually beholden to. Those are the people they want to be there for.”

“It's disheartening because this is supposed to be a game. It's supposed to be fun, it's supposed to be entertainment, but what it turns into for a lot of people is really life or death. It turns into the difference between me being healthy and me losing control of my life.”

“The majority of people that I've worked with who've been either college athletes or high-level high school athletes who are then transitioning out of it have done so well here because they see this as kind of the new sport. This is the new team.”

“You might have to get back in the driver's seat a little bit and say, ‘Hey, I want you to figure things out and I want you to be happy. And it is okay if you take a different road….I know I once put pressure on you, but now this is your thing and it's been your thing for a long time.I want you to know that it is okay to find a new thing. It is okay if you want to go different.’”

PREVIEW:

Sometimes we keep emotions bottled up deep inside of us or are haunted by memories we cannot escape from. Physical activity can be an outlet for releasing uncomfortable emotions, tension, and stress from our bodies. In this episode of the SKYlights Podcast, Clinical Therapist Maura Nolan, LPC, ACMHC, NCC discusses somatic therapy; how she incorporates breathwork, dance, and movement into her work with students; and tools anyone can use for cultivating greater mind-body awareness.

GUEST PROFILE:

MAURA NOLAN, LPC, ACMHC, NCC

Clinical Therapist Maura Nolan, LPC, CMHC, NCC joined Open Sky in 2021 and has been helping young adults and their families heal and grow ever since. She has vast experience in crisis intervention and trauma-based psychotherapy. She incorporates dance, movement, breathwork, and yoga into her solution-focused, trauma-informed, and holistic approach. Maura brings a flexible, non-judgmental approach to her work and strives to provide a safe space for everyone as part of their treatment.

TOPICS COVERED: breathing exercises, dancing, mental health, movement, somatic therapy, therapy, trauma

00:00 Intro

02:31 What is somatic therapy?

04:05 Dancing and mental health

06:30 Slowing things down and creating a safe space

10:02 Breathing exercises

12:13 Moving across the wilderness

13:58 Mirroring

15:21 Grounding exercises

18:46 Progressive muscle relaxation

20:06 Providing psychoeducation 

SELECT QUOTES:

“By leaning into these body sensations, a somatic therapist can help a client move toward healing mental health from the inside out.”

“I didn't really notice it until later on in my life—the profound effect of moving my body through dancing, no matter what form that looked like, on my emotional and mental health. It's hard being a teenager at times, and I think we can all relate to the trials and tribulations of what it's like to be a teenager at times, whether it's navigating different relationships or changes in our bodies, whatever it may be. And dance was a huge outlet for me to be able to release some of the painful emotions that I was storing in my body.”

“The key with somatic therapy is to feel painful feelings but to do it in a way that feels safe and that also then allows us to release some of those emotions and heal in some ways.”

“Oftentimes, trauma feels like it's too much, too fast, too soon. So we want to work on countering this. And slowing down looks like you’re only working with small bits of difficult experiences at a time. So it might look like pausing, taking time to notice the sensations that are occurring in your body and how that corresponds to what you're speaking about.” 

“Isn't that the work of life? We have to walk through the fire of self-discovery. The heat can be intense along the way, but it also gives us warmth and brings us to a better place.”

PREVIEW:

It has now been more than a year since our lives changed drastically due to the COVID-19 pandemic. While we’ve learned to live with this new normal, the impacts on mental health and development have been significant. In this episode, clinical therapist Mariah Loftin discusses how the pandemic has affected mental health in young adults, how they and their parents can identify and manage mental health struggles, and what hope and transformation can be gained in the midst of it all.

GUEST PROFILE:

MARIAH LOFTIN, MA, LPC

Senior clinical therapist Mariah Loftin has been working with young adults and their families at Open Sky since 2012, with years of clinical experience prior. She skillfully blends her background as a psychotherapist, behaviorist, and art therapist. Melding a variety of clinical modalities, Mariah helps young adult clients and their families examine and appreciate the many dimensions of themselves, including their mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing.

TOPICS COVERED: anxiety, depression, isolation, mental health, pandemic,parenting, substance abuse, therapy, young adults

SELECT QUOTES:

“I think it's a uniquely challenging time for young adults because they’re not being able to graduate, not being able to go to classes at college, not being able to actually launch from their homes because developmentally, that's where they are in their lives. So there's this sense of a lot of young people feeling stuck, stagnant, and like they’re being robbed of those opportunities.”

“Let'sreflect on where we've been. Let's look at how has this last year unfolded and where are we at this point so that we can move forward.”

“As a family, both individually and collectively, let's get honest with ourselves about what's been happening and what's not healthy. I think being able to define and even write it down: what's been going on, what are the things that we're concerned about for ourselves, for our families? And ask, what are the strengths from being together, so that we're not just caught and stuck in here are all the negative things that are happening.”

“I think all of us have experienced some unhealthy behaviors perhaps emerging or increasing. And it's about asking, when does it cross a line? When does it become a concerning behavior? That, to me, is an important thing for parents and kids to be looking at.”

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