This week we are jumping off an oil rig in slow-motion while we discuss “Vienen”! We’re talking the show’s triumphant return to Boat X-Files, Bo Crowder’s surprise appearance, whether or not the Zodiac Killers is an open X-File, how much Mulder and Doggett hate each other, Skinner not being able to resist eating some delicious caramels off Kersh’s desk, Mulder’s undeniable cat energy, and whether Scully is busy doing a bunch of pranks when she’s teaching at Quantico. We wonder why nobody seems to notice that Mulder does not give a shit anymore, enjoy Mulder and Doggett’s matching outfits, worry about Scully going into labor as a result of dismay at Mulder’s actions, explore Amanda’s troubling work situation, and yet again wonder about Kersh and Skinner’s whole deal. New drinking game: take a shot every time Scully flips that sheet off the body to shock somebody.

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This week we are entering a low-resolution virtual reality and helping chimpanzees learn Shakespeare while we discuss The Lone Gunmen episodes “Madam, I’m Adam” and “Planet of the Frohikes”! We’re talking the running bit of The Lone Gunmen newspaper being found in the trash, whether or not Jimmy would be jealous of Mulder’s existence, Frohike getting into a beef with a child, finding goo in EVERY crevice, Yves being TLG’s emergency contact, that evil scientists can be wives too, and get really excited about the star of the show Maniac Marvin. We check in on Yves playing the Sims, get inspiration from a pro wrestler-themed wedding, wonder where we can sign up for the Monkey Liberation Army, note how Thomas Schnauz really got nepo-friended along in his career, and lament Ned Ryerson’s lack of a Blockbuster card. I mean, are you even alive if you don’t have a Blockbuster card?

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This week we are taking our faces off to reveal a tinier fiery face while we discuss “Empedocles”! We’re talking Reyes’ girl potential, comfy Scully, how dangerous it is to put two believers on one case, Jeb!, how much we enjoy how much Doggett and Mulder hate each other, and think it’s suspicious that Skinner didn’t show up to Scully’s hospital room. We do a lot of bad Batman voices (sorry in advance), wonder whether Mulder might actually be a ghost, try to stop Doggett from looming over Scully and having creepy visions, wonder whether Johnica could be a thing, debate the importance of an Evil Vaccine, and support Scully while she demands that Mulder be nice to Doggett, her only other friend. Also, this is serious business this week, because this is a case with some phenomena. What kind of phenomena? You’ll have to listen to find out.

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