Is reading smut mental cheating? Or is it the secret weapon to a more empowered, pleasure-filled life?
In this juicy, no-holds-barred episode of the Sex and Bacon podcast, Sarah sits down with erotica author and podcaster Ruan Willow to explore the world of erotic romance, female desire, and why stories that turn women on are about so much more than sex.

From reclaiming "dirty" words to using fiction as foreplay, Ruan breaks down how smut, sensual stories, and sex-positive conversations can actually heal shame, unlock confidence, and transform relationships.

Whether you're new to erotic lit or a longtime lover of open-door romance, this episode is a spicy invitation to rethink what turns you on—and why that’s more powerful than you’ve been told.

💥 If you've ever felt guilty for what you like, or wondered if you're "too much"—this one is for you.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways:

• Why reading smut isn’t mental cheating—and might actually save your sex life

• The difference between porn and erotic romance (and why women crave the latter)

• How erotica helps women reclaim pleasure, power, and their own damn fantasies

• The healing power of fiction for trauma, shame, and even religious conditioning

• What most men misunderstand about women’s desires

• Why sexual empowerment is mental health, period

• Consent, kink, and the truth about ethical non-monogamy

• Ruan’s top writing tips—and how her characters lead the story (and the sex)
  
  

We get into:

• 00:00 Introduction

• 00:50 Ruan Willow's Journey into Erotic Romance

• 01:55 Debunking Myths About Erotic Romance

• 04:32 Writing Explicit Content: Challenges and Creativity

• 16:01 The Healing Power of Erotic Literature

• 21:51 Exploring Pseudo Incest in Literature

• 23:40 Family Reactions to Writing Romance

• 24:19 Diving into the 'Oh Fuck Yeah' Podcast

• 27:48 Impact of Podcasting on Writing

• 28:54 Writing About Non-Monogamous Relationships

• 32:54 Upcoming Erotic Romance Projects

• 35:06 Normalizing Sexual Conversations

• 39:21 Connecting with Fans and Final Thoughts

Connect with Ruan

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ruanwillowauthor/

• X: https://x.com/ruanwillow?lang=en

• Podcast: https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/oh-fck-yeah-with-ruan-willow-1592675

• Books: https://books.ruanwillowauthor.com/

Connect with me

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ownyourerotic

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sexandbacon1065

• Email us: sexandbacon1@yahoo.com

Most men think they’ve got sex all figured out… but what if that confidence is exactly what’s keeping them from mind-blowing connection?

In this candid and wildly eye-opening episode of the Sex and Bacon podcast, Sarah is joined by Dallas Bluth, founder of Black Box Dating, to explore why so many men misunderstand what truly turns women on—and how they can flip the script for good.

From porn culture and rushed foreplay to emotional unavailability and outdated masculinity myths, this convo dives into the core of male sexuality, desire, and how to create actual intimacy (that leads to the hottest sex of your life).

💥 If you’ve ever thought “I’m doing everything right… so why isn’t it working?” — this one’s for you.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways:

• The biggest mistakes men make in bed

• Why slowing down changes everything

• What women actually mean when they say they need to feel safe

• The #1 mindset shift that makes sex hotter

• How porn rewires expectations and performance

• The real role of emotional intimacy in physical pleasure

• Tangible ways men can step into secure, grounded masculinity
  
  

We get into:

• 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast

• 00:58 Defining Really Hot Sex

• 02:14 Male vs. Female Perspectives on Sex

• 02:40 Understanding Male Sexuality

• 06:07 The Importance of Emotional Connection

• 16:27 Foreplay in Relationships

• 20:38 Acts of Service and Masculinity

• 34:19 Setting Standards in Relationships

• 46:20 The Impact of Pornography on Relationships

• 48:18 Desensitization and Addiction

• 49:47 Emotional and Sexual Escalation

• 50:42 The Importance of Non-Sexual Intimacy

• 55:06 Communication and Vulnerability in Relationships

• 58:18 Challenges in Married Life

• 01:01:32 Reigniting Passion in Long-Term Relationships

• 01:04:40 The Role of Masculine Energy

• 01:16:25 Creating Lighthearted and Carefree Experiences

• 01:26:59 Conclusion and Contact Information

Connect with Dallas

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dallas.bluth/

• Website: https://dallasbluth.com/

Connect with me

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ownyourerotic

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sexandbacon1065

• Email us: sexandbacon1@yahoo.com

In this episode of Sex & Bacon, I sit down with the always unfiltered Darby for a rollercoaster ride through dating disasters, sexual awakenings, and the spiritual side of swearing off men—temporarily.

We talk throuples, field apps, hat-fishing, giant dicks (that miss the G-spot), and the kind of kissing that makes you question if you even like the person. And then—curveball—Sarah shares her very real journey of trying celibacy… for six months. Kind of. Maybe. We’ll check back in 30 days.

Get ready for big laughs, bigger truths, and the kind of late-night convo you’d only have with your best friend and a half-empty glass of wine.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways:

Too Much Dick, Not Enough Spark
Why bigger isn’t always better and why chemistry matters more than checkboxes (even if the checkbox is “deep radio voice”).

Sensuality > Shits & Giggles
Sarah shares her first real experience with a couple—and what it taught her about connection, boundaries, and how much is too much pleasure in one night.

When Your Gut Says “No,” but Your Hormones Say “Let’s Go”
Why we sometimes ignore our instincts when someone checks all the right boxes—except the emotional availability one.

Six Months of Celibacy (Allegedly)
Sarah swears off dating and sex for six months to heal, set boundaries, and get clear… but can she make it past day 30 without sexting someone in a cowboy hat?

Red Flags & Witches
From “build-a-boy” fantasies to sending money to witches (yep, that happened), we go there—and back again. Plus, what dating app culture really says about where we are emotionally.

Sisterhood Over Situationships
Through the mess and the magic, Sarah proves one thing: real friendship is what holds you when the bed’s cold and the heart’s hurting.

We get into:

• 00:00 Intro

• 00:25 Dating Woes and Celibacy Challenge

• 01:14 The Cowboy Chronicles

• 02:29 Exploring Throuples and New Dating Adventures

• 04:17 The Throuple Experience

• 08:49 New Connections and Insecurities

• 14:05 Navigating Relationship Red Flags

• 20:04 Warnings and Red Flags

• 21:04 Realization and Self-Reflection

• 23:32 Intimacy and Relationship Benchmarks

• 27:22 Commitment to a Dating Hiatus

• 31:51 Challenges and Support

• 40:36 Final Thoughts and Cheers

Connect with me

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ownyourerotic

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sexandbacon1065

• Email us: sexandbacon1@yahoo.com

In this episode of Sex & Bacon, I’m joined by the vibrant and soulfully wise Shay Moore—a licensed marriage and family therapist with a love for all things messy, magical, and real when it comes to relationships. Together, we dive deep into the labyrinth of modern love, friendships, dating dilemmas, and the wild ride of being a woman who’s trying to figure it all out without losing herself in the process.

Shay brings raw honesty and therapeutic insight as we unpack the complexities of love, the importance of female friendships, and why your girlfriends really are your soulmates (even if they cook you dinner instead of sending flowers).

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways:

Love in Shambles – From Studying It to Living It
Shay shares her journey from being single and skeptical to becoming a therapist helping others navigate love—even when her own heart was still learning.

Hyper-Independent Women & The Vulnerability Conundrum
Why opening up feels like peeling your own skin off—and how we can soften without falling apart.

Dating in the Digital Age – Why Is This So F*cking Hard?
We talk about ghosting, texting anxiety, and whether being a "pen pal" counts as connection. Spoiler: it doesn’t.

Friends Who Love Us Too Hard
How our besties can sometimes project their own pain into our dating lives—and how to tell when it’s advice or overprotection talking.

Sisterhood is Sacred
Shay opens up about her own heartbreaks, the friends who walked beside her, and why adult female friendships are the real love story of your life.

Healing Through Sisterhood, Honesty, & Hugs
From seven-second hugs to "rotting on the couch" dates, we explore the power of being seen, held, and loved by other women—no filter, no judgment.

We get into:

• 00:00 Intro

• 02:16 The Struggles of Modern Relationships

• 04:33 Navigating Dating Expectations

• 09:30 The Role of Friends in Relationship Advice

• 16:43 Mental Health and Relationship Breakdowns

• 18:03 Red Flags and Emotional Availability

• 23:14 The Tall Man Dilemma

• 23:37 Emotional Availability in Relationships

• 24:41 The Importance of Open Communication

• 28:16 Supporting Friends Through Breakups

• 31:49 Love Languages in Friendships

• 33:36 The Value of Female Friendships

• 42:15 Unapologetically You

• 48:19 Final Thoughts and Advice

Connect with Shay

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shifthappenswithshay/

• Podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2413290/episodes/16781737-the-power-of-vulnerability-how-being-real-strengthens-relationships

Connect with me

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ownyourerotic

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sexandbacon1065

• Email us: sexandbacon1@yahoo.com

In this episode of Sex&Bacon, I’m joined by the incredibly brave Katey Rickert for a raw, unfiltered conversation about healing after sexual assault, reclaiming power, and the long, winding road of recovery. Katey opens up about her personal story—one that is heart-wrenching, courageous, and deeply human. Together, we unpack the dark aftermath of trauma, the complexities of consent, and how writing, movement, and connection helped her return home to herself.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways:

Surviving the Unthinkable – The Story Behind the Blog
Katey shares how her blog was born from a place of pain, resilience, and healing—writing her way through trauma, shame, and the reclamation of her body and voice.

Disassociation, PTSD & the Aftermath of Assault
What really happens to the body and mind during and after sexual trauma—and why it’s not as simple as “fight or flight.”

Why Survivors Stay Silent – And Why That Needs to Change
From shame to broken systems, Katey breaks down the reasons behind the silence of so many survivors—and what happened when she finally reported her assault 8 years later.

The Broken Justice System – One Call, No Justice
Despite a recorded confession, her rapist walked free. Katey details the gut-wrenching failures of the legal system and why so many survivors don’t come forward.

The Road to Recovery – Yoga, Therapy & Radical Reconnection
Katey dives into how years of therapy, recovery, and somatic healing helped her finally feel safe again—in her body, in relationships, and in her truth.

From Trauma to Empowerment – Reclaiming Sexuality on Her Own Terms
How she transformed her pain into power, explored her sensuality through photography and writing, and ultimately found healing in conscious, connected love.

We get into:

• 00:00 Intro

• 01:37 The Impact of Sexual Assault

• 03:35 Exploring Sexuality and OF

• 07:15 The Lifestyle Lounge Experience

• 10:11 The Assault Incident

• 19:41 Aftermath and Reporting

• 26:36 Travis County's Sexual Assault Case Backlog

• 27:55 Dissociation During Assault

• 32:44 Struggles with Intimacy

• 33:42 Seeking Help and Recovery

• 40:24 The Importance of Support Systems

• 44:35 The Broken System and Reporting Challenges

• 47:31 Empowerment Through Sharing

• 49:36 Final Thoughts and Resources

Connect with Katey

• https://www.lamalaloba.com/ (password is kateybea)

Connect with me

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ownyourerotic

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sexandbacon1065

• Email us: sexandbacon1@yahoo.com

In this episode of Sex and Bacon, Sarah Davis joins me for a no-holds-barred conversation about dating today—from navigating the wild world of dating apps to uncovering what we truly want in a partner. We get real about expectations, self-sabotage, and why so many of us keep attracting the same type of relationships.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways:

💥 Dating Over 40: Navigating the Chaos – Why dating later in life comes with new challenges, and how to embrace it with confidence and clarity.

🛑 Breaking the Cycle of Settling – Why so many women feel pressure to “just take what they can get” in relationships—and why that’s a hard NO.

💡 Attraction & Energy: What Are You Really Looking For? – How Sarah shifted her mindset from a “type” to deeper compatibility (and what that changed in her dating life).

🎭 Men, Women & The Dating App Struggle – The stark differences between dating men vs. women, and why dating apps often feel like a game of luck.

🔥 Red Flags, Green Flags & Wild Stories – From accidental blind dates to the infamous overnight bag incident—Sarah shares the good, the bad, and the in between.

💡 Manifesting the Right Relationship – The power of getting crystal clear on what you want in a partner—and how the universe might just deliver.

We get into:

• 00:00 Intro

• 04:54 Sarah's Journey: From Marriage to Bisexuality

• 07:59 Navigating Bisexuality in Relationships

• 14:26 Dating Dynamics: Men vs. Women

• 19:42 Worst Date Stories and Lessons Learned

• 27:50 Importance of Personality in Attraction

• 33:07 Challenges of Finding Genuine Connections

• 35:07 Being Upfront About Relationship Goals

• 35:43 Funny Dating Story: The Wrong Sarah

• 38:40 Setting Boundaries and Honoring Yourself

• 44:44 The Scarcity Mindset in Dating Over 40

• 52:22 Manifesting the Right Partner

Connect with me

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ownyourerotic

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sexandbacon1065

• Email us: sexandbacon1@yahoo.com

In this episode of Sex and Bacon, Sarah sits down with executive coach and self-sabotage expert Minh-Thu Lam from Higher Alignment Consulting to uncover the sneaky ways we sabotage our own happiness—especially in relationships.

From unspoken needs and toxic patterns to the role of the nervous system in love, this deep and raw conversation reveals why we keep making the same mistakes and, more importantly, how to break free.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways:

💥 Why We Self-Sabotage: Minh-Thu breaks down the subconscious patterns that keep us stuck, from childhood conditioning to societal programming.

🛑 Recognizing the Signs: Struggling with ghosting, repeating toxic relationship cycles, or pushing away healthy love? Here’s how to identify self-sabotage in action.

💡 Healing Through Awareness: Learn how to stop reacting from fear, regulate your nervous system, and start making intentional choices in love and life.

🔄 Dating with Clarity: Sarah and Minh-Thu discuss how to set boundaries, voice your needs, and stop expecting partners to be mind readers.

🌱 Growth Over Comfort: Unlearning unhealthy patterns is uncomfortable—but it’s the key to creating the deep, fulfilling relationships we actually want.

🔥 The Hard Truth: If you keep attracting the same type of partner, the common denominator is you—but that also means you have the power to change it.

We get into:

• 00:00 Welcome to the Sex and Bacon Podcast

• 02:11 The Root Cause of Burnout

• 03:43 Understanding Self-Sabotage

• 04:46 Self-Sabotage in Relationships

• 06:57 Childhood Conditioning and Relationship Dynamics

• 18:05 The Importance of Setting Boundaries

• 26:49 Recognizing Self-Sabotaging Patterns

• 34:52 Recognizing Old Patterns and Moving Forward

• 35:06 The Importance of Surrounding Yourself with Positive Influences

• 35:34 The Role of Coaches and Therapists

• 37:03 Choosing the Right Coach

• 38:01 Self-Sabotage and Its Reflection on Self-Worth

• 39:51 The Importance of Prioritizing Wellbeing in Relationships

• 43:35 Tools to Overcome Self-Sabotage

• 46:17 Regulating Your Nervous System

• 53:04 The Value of Open Communication in Relationships

• 59:26 Taking Control of Your Life and Seeking Help

Connect with Minh-Thu

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/higher-alignment-consulting/

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61555613204811

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/higheralignmentconsulting/

• https://higheralignmentconsulting.com/

Connect with me

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ownyourerotic

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sexandbacon1065

• Email us: sexandbacon1@yahoo.com

In this episode of the Sex and Bacon podcast, we’re kicking off a brand-new series—The Dating Circle! Host Sarah introduces us to two incredible women, Jess and Tina, as they embark on their dating journeys, sharing all the juicy details, awkward encounters, and hard-earned lessons along the way.

From navigating dating apps and ghosting to defining what they’re really looking for in a partner, this candid conversation is filled with laughs, surprises, and some hard truths about modern dating.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways:

1. 💘 Dating in the Digital Age: Jess and Tina open up about their experiences with Tinder, Hinge, and Facebook Dating—why some platforms work better than others and what really goes on behind the scenes of online dating.
   
   

2. 💔 The Struggles of Modern Romance: From ghosting to awkward first dates, the ladies spill their worst dating experiences—including one that involved a surprise LARPing confession!
   
   

3. 💡 What Women Really Want: Confidence, ambition, and emotional intelligence—Jess and Tina break down the qualities that matter most when looking for a partner.
   
   

4. 🔥 Who Should Make the First Move? Should men take the lead in planning dates, or is it a mutual effort? The conversation dives into the importance of confidence, effort, and setting the tone for a relationship.
   
   

5. 📌 The Homework Assignment: Jess and Tina have two weeks to find and go on a date—who will they meet, and how will it go? Stay tuned for the next episode to find out!

We get into:

• 00:00 Introduction to the Dating Circle Series

• 01:30 Meet Jess: A Journey Through Divorce and Dating

• 03:35 Meet Tina: Single Mom Navigating the Dating World

• 04:45 Dating Apps: Tinder, Hinge, and Facebook Dating

• 07:44 The Challenges of Online Dating

• 13:45 Worst Date Stories: Tina's Experience

• 19:05 Worst Date Stories: Jess's Experience

• 26:40 The Oven Thermometer Gift

• 27:43 Debating Dating Expenses

• 28:33 Splitting the Bill on Dates

• 32:13 Worst Date Stories

• 39:17 Online Dating Realities

• 43:35 What Women Want in a Man

• 49:49 Dating Homework Assignment

Connect with me

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ownyourerotic

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sexandbacon1065

• Email us: sexandbacon1@yahoo.com