Sex is complicated, even for Christians. Often in the church, single people are promised “blessed” marriages for the future if they hold fast to purity, don’t put themselves in situations of temptation and pray faithfully enough to find the spouse God has out there for them. But when prioritizing date nights, speaking each other’s love languages and meeting physical needs still leaves them with a lack of intimacy or an unfulfilling sex life, it’s more than complicated. It feels like something’s broken.

Sheila Wray Gregoire, author of multiple research-based books on sex in Christian marriages, wants you to know that you are not alone. There are a variety of reasons Christians struggle with sex, even within a committed marriage, and it’s all more common than shame wants you to believe. This episode speaks to purity culture, the Billy Graham rule, why evangelical women struggle with sex more than other people groups and expectations for husbands and wives so you can learn a healthier way forward in your current or future marriage.

*In case it needs to be said, this episode talks about sexual intercourse. If you don’t want the people around you hearing about orgasms and named body parts, you may want to grab headphones for this episode.

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Grab Sheila’s books on our Becoming Church resource list on Amazon! (Your purchase will also send a few pennies to our tithe box.)

The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex
The Good Guys Guide to Great Sex
The Great Sex Rescue
She Deserves Better

If you’re experiencing pain or discomfort, we advise you to reach out to a healthcare provider. If you are experiencing abuse in your relationship, call 1.800.799.7233 or text “START” to 88788 to reach the National Domestic Violence hotline.

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