Summer is coming to an end!

I'm feeling mixed emotions about that, how about you?

This week's podcast/YouTube episode is the final one about summer camp. We had an amazing 5 weeks and I'm glad I was able to spend that time with our summer campers. I'm also glad I was able to share it with everyone via the podcast!

Here's a clip from the episode:

People have developed all kinds of rules for UNO that are not the actual rules of UNO. And the challenge with that is that our kids don't understand that. So they know how to play UNO the way they've learned how to play UNO, which is usually based on whoever they typically play it with, whether it's family, whether it's friends. But very rarely do two people have the same UNO rules.

The biggest conflict I see is, per UNO rules, if you don't have a card to play you draw one card and if you can't play it you lose your turn. But a lot of people play where you draw until you get a card that you can play. So that's the number one conflict I see is people trying to do that each way and then getting upset with each other when really it's just two people with a different understanding of how to play.

And so UNO can just get really complicated because different people have different ideas of how to play without recognizing that the way they're playing is not the actual UNO rules.

Once I explain that, everybody's fine and then they just have to agree on what rules they're going to play by. But again, it just all comes back to helping kids understand that we all process and think about things differently. And we only know based on our experience. So if you have someone else who's got a different experience, that's what they know.

One of my biggest objectives with my students is helping them understand how other people think and feel. The topic of farting is actually a great way to make this point.

Talking about farting also helps my students understand the concept of 'context'. The concept that there are different rules and expectations in different contexts can be a challenge for neurodivergent kids.

In this week's podcast/YouTube episode, I'm sharing stories from our 5th week of summer camp. A lot of situations in our 5th week revolved around thinking about what someone else may be thinking.

Here's a clip from the episode:

Because we're mostly boys, one of the things that happens... this happens all the time at Starfish, especially with new kids who haven't been part of this conversation, is we have to have a conversation about farting in front of other people. During summer camp alone, I think we had it three times this summer. One thing to be mindful of, those of you guys that are parents, is that for kiddos who are autistic or have ADHD, they often have a difficult time understanding that there are different expectations in different environments. And so one of the things that I'll see sometimes is I'll see a kiddo doing or saying something that I can tell they do or say at home, but is not appropriate to do or say at Starfish Social Club, or to me as an adult.

However our kids act and talk at home is probably going to be how they act and talk out in the world. And so just to be aware of this.

So just being aware of the way your kiddos talk, the things that you guys joke about, the things that you tolerate or that you allow or that you have no problem with, but if they were to go to a friend's house, or if they were to say or do that at school, it would be an issue.

I sometimes get asked how I decide what to focus on with my students at Starfish. How do I decide what to support them with and what to leave alone?

I focus on two things: things that affect each student's ability to function successfully in a group, and things that affect each student's ability to make and maintain friends.

First, this is a group program. Because of that, I am able to quickly and clearly see the things that cause kids to struggle in a group context. Maybe it's always needing to have things go their way. Maybe it's monopolizing conversations.

Second, I notice the things that are interfering with their ability to make and maintain friends. This is different for every kiddo. For some kids, it's that they don't know how to maintain conversations. For others, it may be their difficulty solving problems.

In this week's episode, I'm sharing stories from the rest of our 4th week of summer camp related to helping students improve their group behaviors and raising awareness of some things that are getting in the way of building friendships.

I'm sharing stories and strategies about everything from responding to things with, "I don't know", to choosing who to spend our time with.

Here's a clip from the episode:

Because at this point it's just an automatic reaction for him, but it doesn't always have to be. We can definitely break those automatic, shutdown, refusal, 'I don't know' kind of things. 'I don't know'... I've met so many kids who that becomes their default: I don't know. And it's when they're feeling a little bit overwhelmed by something. If we just step back and give them some time and space, almost always they will think of something to say.

I've seen that with so many different kids in so many different situations. Even… I remember I had a kiddo who used to say that even when I would ask him just a social question like, 'What's your favorite video game?' 'I don't know.' And then I would just wait a little bit. And then he would answer the question. Sometimes kids do this because they don't want to say the 'quote, unquote' wrong thing. Even though there's never a wrong thing at Starfish Social Club.