Dr. Steve Harris joins us to explain discernment counseling, a specialized approach helping couples gain clarity about whether to work on their marriage or move toward divorce.

• Developed at the University of Minnesota after research showed 30% of divorcing couples had at least one person who didn't want the divorce
• Differs from traditional couples therapy by focusing on decision-making clarity rather than relationship improvement
• Designed specifically for "mixed-agenda couples" where one partner wants to work on the marriage while the other is considering divorce
• Creates a structured space where ambivalence about the relationship is welcomed and explored
• Presents three paths: continuing the status quo, moving toward divorce, or committing to six months of intensive work on the relationship
• Typically runs 1-5 sessions with both joint and individual components
• Helps both partners recognize their own contributions to marital problems, not just their partner's failings
• Results show approximately 51% choose to work on their marriage, with 70-75% of those successfully repairing their relationship
• Even couples who ultimately divorce benefit from better understanding and communication

Visit MinnesotaCouplesOnTheBrink.org or discernmentcounseling.com to learn more and find trained counselors in your area.

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Strongermarriage.org

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Dr. Dave Schramm:

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http://drdavespeaks.com

Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com

Chad Ford returns to share powerful insights from his new book 70x7, exploring how fear drives conflict and how radical forgiveness can transform our marriages and relationships. His work as an international conflict mediator brings unique perspectives on moving from destructive to constructive conflict patterns.

• Understanding that conflict is natural and inevitable in marriage—the goal isn't eliminating conflict but handling it well
• Recognizing common conflict styles: avoidance (burying issues), accommodation (always giving in), and competition (needing to win)
• Practicing the "risk of embrace"—opening arms in invitation, waiting, embracing, and gracefully letting go
• Moving beyond "forgive and forget" to true reconciliation through truth, forgiveness, justice, and assurance of change
• "Rolling away stones"—choosing to give partners what they need rather than what we think they deserve
• Transforming complaints into invitations for deeper connection
• Starting "close in" by practicing conflict transformation skills at home before tackling larger societal conflicts

Visit DangerousLoveBook.com or ChadFord.Substack.com to sign up for free conflict transformation resources, including conflict style assessments and articles on healthy boundaries.

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Dr. Dave Schramm:

http://drdaveschramm.com

http://drdavespeaks.com

Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com

How do you transform relationship challenges into opportunities for growth? What does it mean to truly flourish together beyond mere happiness? When hardship strikes, what separates couples who crumble from those who emerge stronger?

Dr. Nathan Lenhart, assistant professor at Brigham Young University and author of "The Science of Virtue," tackles these profound questions with refreshing clarity. He introduces the concept of "capital R Resilience" versus "lowercase r resilience" – distinguishing between transformative crucible experiences and smaller but meaningful gains from everyday challenges.

Through the practical ABCX model (Stressor + Resources + Perception = Stress Response), Dr. Lenhart unpacks how couples can navigate everything from cancer diagnoses to daily work-family conflicts. He emphasizes that our resources (community support, extended family) and especially our perception of events dramatically affect our resilience trajectory. As he poignantly notes, sometimes the question isn't "why did this happen?" but rather "how can we make the most of this time together?"

The conversation deepens as Dr. Lenhart challenges our culture's fixation on happiness and satisfaction, which he describes as "fragile" and often "hollow" when pursued individualistically. Instead, he advocates for relationship flourishing – characterized by meaning, belonging, and growth – as a more stable foundation that withstands life's inevitable storms. His cross-cultural research reveals how Americans who chase happiness often end up less fulfilled than those in more relationally-focused cultures, suggesting our approach to happiness itself might need recalibrating.

Perhaps most thought-provoking is Dr. Lenhart's assertion that virtues like gratitude, forgiveness, and humility underlie truly successful relationships, more fundamental than even communication skills. "It doesn't matter how effectively you're communicating if you're communicating your distaste for each other," he observes. His recommendation to find inspiring relationships to emulate acknowledges that transformation often begins with inspiration rather than instruction.

Whether you're facing acute trauma or chronic stressors in your relationship, this episode offers both practical frameworks and profound wisdom. Listen now to discover how you can not just survive challenges together, but genuinely flourish through them.

Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

Strongermarriage.org

Podcast.stongermarriage.org

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/

Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/

Dr. Dave Schramm:

http://drdaveschramm.com

http://drdavespeaks.com

Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com