Matt Bair and Ryan Hedrick explore how Steps 6 and 7 of the twelve-step recovery process can help your loved one’s journey and improve their relationship with you. Step 6 is about letting go of what holds you back, while Step 7 is seeking help to make those changes. Together, these steps focus on acceptance and humility, which are key to long-term recovery.

Timestamps and Discussions:

3:33 - 5:27
Matt explains how Steps 6 and 7 go hand-in-hand. Now is the time to stop blaming others and acknowledge your flaws.

5:28 - 7:11
Ryan talks about how addiction is like a ticking time bomb. Addicts often sabotage their success, and Ryan shares how his behavior led to setbacks in his radio career. These flaws resurface because they become a crutch.

7:46 - 10:55
The discussion dives into different types of flaws that hinder recovery. A key issue for addicts is control—whether it's over conversations, relationships, or outcomes. A higher power is vital to letting go of these control issues.

12:12 - 13:17
Flaws are obstacles, but they can be removed. Matt and Ryan discuss how, if an addict works hard, these obstacles can be turned into something positive.

13:19 - 16:30
Recovery is about practice, not perfection. Ryan reflects on his three years in recovery, noting that each year brings more self-awareness. Matt explains how flaws can make us sicker and teach us more about our disease.

18:10 - 19:32

Matt and Ryan desire more healing. They emphasize the importance of recognizing flaws and praying for their removal.

21:00 - 24:00

Closing thoughts

Resources:

You can find us on X and Instagram: @sobriety_pod. Supporting Sobriety is also available on major podcast platforms like Spotify and Apple. Please like, subscribe, and rate our podcast!

Al-Anon: Al-Anon.org

AA Meetings: aa.intergroup.org/meetings

NA Meetings: virtual-na.org

Suicide Prevention Hotline: (800) 273-825

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Matt Bair and Ryan Hedrick continue talking about the steps in their recovery journeys, sharing how the twelve steps have made a positive difference in their lives and improved their relationships with those who support them. The idea is that these steps often provide the answers to what addicts or alcoholics are struggling with. By working through the steps, we can get better with ourselves, which helps us get better with the people who love and care for us.

Step Four is about honestly examining your actions and behaviors and how they affect your life. It requires honesty and humility because it shows that you can’t do everything alone. Step Five takes this further by sharing what you’ve discovered with someone else and your higher power, admitting your flaws out loud. This helps you realize that you need support beyond just yourself.

Timestamps and Discussions:

4:24 to 6:44 - Matt discusses how these steps focus on the addict’s journey. In his Step Four, everyone he wrote about was a caregiver somehow. He explains how he uses the steps to measure what his relationships could look like.

6:44 to 8:23 - Ryan discusses a question regarding what society expects of him in the fourth step. He shares how his obsession and compulsion can still be intense, even during recovery. He also mentions that Step Four looks at his strengths, not just the negatives.

8:36 - 8:59 - Why rigorous honesty is vital to the fourth step. Getting our house in order to do this step takes willingness.

9:26 - 11:13 - The guys explain how steps four and five are related. The fourth step involves looking inward to identify past actions. After looking at himself in step four, Ryan explains that step five is about talking to someone else about what he's found.

11:14 - 14:39 - Matt says step four is about writing, and step five is about talking. Matt was so paralyzed by shame that he found his writing cathartic—step four addresses anxiety, fear, and sexual behavior.

14:56 - 17:00 - The personal inventory in the fourth step is deeply personal and loving, allowing us to see things for what they were. When we were using, we were professional victims. We used every excuse in the book to continue our behavior. Ryan talks about the therapeutic value of one addict helping each other.

17:20 - 19:25 - We can't carry shame or will use/drink again. The steps are in order for a reason. Sitting in recovery meetings and listening to people share their experiences about how they apply the steps in their lives can help your addict identify similar experiences. Pain can be a great motivator.

20:00 - 23:07 - The steps are designed to bring your addict closer to a loving higher power who can guide us in our recovery. Commitment is an often overlooked principle. Ryan talks about the fantasies he created during his drug use. Commitment to work and applying the principles in these steps is the most important thing your addict needs to do.

23:39 Closing thoughts.

Resources:

You can find us on X and Instagram: @sobriety_pod. Supporting Sobriety is also available on major podcast platforms like Spotify and Apple. Please like, subscribe, and rate our podcast!

Al-Anon: Al-Anon.org

AA Meetings: aa.intergroup.org/meetings

NA Meetings: virtual-na.org

Suicide Prevention Hotline: (800) 273-8255

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Matt Bair and Ryan Hedrick explore the first three steps of the twelve-step recovery process, which guide addicts in recognizing the problem, finding hope, and surrendering control. Despite their different journeys with addiction, both found healing through these steps.

This episode is designed to show caregivers how important the Twelve Steps are for their loved ones. Understanding these steps gives caregivers a clearer view of the recovery path, from admitting the problem to finding hope in something greater, and trusting the support system to lead their loved one toward healing. The episode highlights why these steps matter and how they can help caregivers provide better support.

Timestamps and Discussion

3:22 - 6:14

Step One: Recognizing the Illusion of Control
Ryan shares how Step One helped him realize that the control he thought he had over his addiction was just an illusion. Accepting this truth opened the door to recovery.

6:15 - 7:48

Surrender to Win
Matt explains the paradox of surrendering in Step One. While society tells us to fight for control, surrendering is a sign of growth for addicts. He highlights that honesty is key in this step.

7:45 - 11:18

Step Two: The Process of Believing
Matt talks about his experience with Step Two, explaining that "we came to believe" doesn’t happen overnight. It's a gradual process that depends on the addict’s willingness to change. This step is about starting to believe in a higher power.

11:19 - 13:30

Finding a Higher Power
Ryan discusses how to choose a higher power, emphasizing that it will become clearer as you move through the steps. He also shares some personal coincidences that made him more open to believing in something greater.

13:54 - 16:00

Step Three: Making a Decision
The third step involves making a decision to trust in something greater than oneself. Ryan and Matt discuss the importance of commitment and surrender in this step. They also explain why choosing a person as a higher power didn’t work for them and how they found other sources of belief.

21:12 - 21:53

Recap
A summary of the first three steps discussed in the episode.

22:36 - 25:40

Final Thoughts
Matt and Ryan conclude the episode with thoughts on the importance of the first three steps for both addicts and caregivers.

Resources:

You can find us on X and Instagram: @sobriety_pod. Supporting Sobriety is also available on major podcast platforms like Spotify and Apple. Please like, subscribe, and rate our podcast!

Al-Anon: Al-Anon.org

AA Meetings: aa.intergroup.org/meetings

NA Meetings: virtual-na.org

Suicide Prevention Hotline: (800) 273-8255

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.