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サマリー
あらすじ・解説
Due to a complete misunderstanding of final due date for probation requirements and a $300.00 remaining balance due of court fees, I sat rotting away in south Florida county jail for over two weeks. Well, not rotting, more like withering, I lost 22lbs during my time because I refused to eat "jail food." When I got handed my first bologna sandwich I immediately asked if they had any vegan options. The officer laughed and called me cute, I said "I know." Anyway, jail really did do me good. I've been a troubled alcoholic since I was fifteen but took a break during my longterm relationship (except for the few times I blacked out, cried about wanting to kms and pissed our bed). I needed jail. and you know what, jail needed me. I turned those frowns upside down within those cement walls! Curated my own spiritual and fitness bootcamp that literally enlightened criminal minds. I was with actual criminals by the way, like serious, serious stuff. They loved telling me stories about grand theft auto (not the video game) and kidnapping their enemies to torcher them. I told them all about my small business selling Seashell home decor and how my favorite way to start my day was a 6am sunrise run at Siesta Key Beach! Opposites really do attract if your mind is open to it! Alls to say is, I am so eternally grateful for my time in jail and have truly learned, in retrospect, how much alcohol took over my life. I'm so happy that I am sober from alcohol (but not weed or shrooms) after over a decade of what started as chugging UV Blue and Pink Lemonade Burnetts in my childhood bedroom and turned into drinking 12 glasses of Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc whenever I went out to dinner (every night) and still be able to walk out of the restaurant.... somehow